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Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 10:52:03 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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Yes, I know that we have had threads like this before...but they are always so much fun and we have a new crowd here now so I thought I'd start another....and it just so happens I have a very recent funny experience.

Last night I was giving Sir a blow job ( or a "gobble" as he so affectionately refers to it). Anyway, as he was about to cum he grabbed my hair and yanked me down on to him in such a way that it caught me way off guard and I did this cough~gag~sputter~attempt to breathe~attempt to not drown thing that struck me really funny and so at the same time I burst into laughing. Well.....have you ever laughed while drinking a glass of milk? Uh huh....his cum shot out my nose! What an ending.....OMG did we laugh!!!!! Of course, he proudly saw it as a reflection of his potent-ial! I have no idea how it happened but that was definitely a first!

Please......share.....

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 5/23/2008 10:53:24 AM >


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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 12:11:52 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
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Well, mine isn't very nice, but I laughed really hard when it happened. (I laugh at the worst times BTW) My Master was over and I was feeling pretty fiesty. We had wrestled around and joke around all night and when I get like that I tend to get a little carried away without meaning to. I was giving Him a blow job and He told me to stop for a second. I scowled at Him and went to LIGHTLY nip Him and ended up full on biting Him. He jumped and sucked in His breath so fast and couldn't speak, I swear if looks could kill.... Well, like I said I laugh at the WORST times so I bust out laughing because I couldn't believe what I had just done. I was apologizing non stop and mumbling things like "Oh my god I am in SOOO much trouble" and kissing Him all over. When He could finally talk, He said shit happens and actually didn't punish me for it. (It really WAS an accident) But now when we're talking if He says "bite me" before I can even respond He's usually says something like "on second thought, no, don't bite me. Ever. Again." Opps. lol (I have a terrible sense of humor BTW)

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 12:38:31 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
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I told the wrong man to get into my car.
When I realised my mistake I politely asked him to get out again.
He did.
Afterwards I realised that the place I had chosen for a meeting was a place where people have sex with strangers.
Ok I now meet for coffee lol.

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 12:43:29 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
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Lessee, I was shackled with my arms over my head and my Owner was having her way with me.  Right as she allowed me to orgasm, my cell phone in the other room started ringing.  It was like heralding the might of the orgasm or something.  We both started laughing so much and it -completely- ruined the mood. :-p

Normally, I have my ringer off for just such reasons...but things had progressed so quickly that day that I simply didn't have the time.

DV's Fox

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 2:25:15 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
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I was having a party at my place with about 30 other folks. There was a new girl, brought by another friend, that had come. It was obvious she was shy, and perhaps intimidated/overwhelmed. Most everyone kind of gave her wide berth. I had, as host, of course had some conversatins with her, but of a light and casual nature.

After several hours had passed, and folks had and still were playing downstairs in the dungeon, I happened upon her in the upstairs living room, sitting on my couch alone. I walked over and sat dwon and began a conversation. In short order I learned she was rather disappointed at people essentailly leaving her alone. She was ready to dive right in but no one was appraoching her. I asked if she wanted to play and before I could even finish the sentence she exclaimed "Yes!!!"

We entered into a different conversation then, talking about her experiences, her tastes and limits - the basic "we've never played together before and you're pretty new to all of this" kind of conversation.

It was decided to get her on my spanking bench ( I make high end dungeon gear and always have a nice selection for my parties - a picture of one of my benches is in my profile {OK, I'm done plugging}) and that one of them was open at that moment. I stood her up and started leading her down into the dungeon. As I did she began to tense up so I asked her if she'd like a blindfold. Again an emphatic "Yes!!!" I guess if you can't see them you're not in a crowd.

So I put one on her and immediately she relaxed again. I led her down, began to strip her slowly, with pats, carresses and cooing sounds, and then got her mounted and strapped to the bench. I started with softer implements and a more gentle impact. As she seemed to be enjoying herself I moved to harsher things and more force. She liked that too. At one point I switched to a whartenberg wheel, a rabbit fur, some cooling alcohol rubs, etc. the wheel ended up in my back pocket.

Then I got serious again for a time. She started to salivate, er, um, down there, and was literally dripping down her thighs, her breathing had become much faster and her hips and ass were kind of gyrating around..... I thought it a good time to establish a more personal connection. I moved to the front of the bench and squatted down next to her face. In a gentle but definitely in control way I took a hand full of her hair and lifted her face up to mine and planted a deep, passionate kiss on her. She really responded to this - thirsty for a tongue, my tongue probing inside her, she let out some internal moans into me. As I withdrew from this kiss, ready to take her up a couple of more notches, she reached out in an effort to hold onto me (with her mouth of course as the rest of her was pretty much immoblized), and in the process knocked me just enough off balance that I fell backwards. Remember the whartenberg wheel?

Yep, I went backwards onto my ass, believing at the time that giving into the fall would be better than resisting. Heck, my butt was only several inches of the ground. Fall back, roll with it a little, and then just get up again. But it wasn't to be. I landed mostly on my right cheek, where the wheel was, and drove 5 or 6 of the spikes pretty deep into my ass. Amazing how realizations can be so immediate. That one was fast, unexpected and quite intense.

I managed to not howl too loudly, and to get up pretty quickly before any more damage was done. But it did get everyones attention. She and I were playing in a quasi sequestered section of my dungeon - the main play space, where everyone else was, was on the other side. My muted howls casued some of them to come over and see what was going on. I had stood up, and had also dropped my pants to assess the damage. By the time they poked their heads around the corner I had dropped trow and was craning my body around to do a complete and thorough examination of my ass. Meanwhile she was still tied to the bench.

I can only imagine what their first impression was. But I felt obligated to offer them an explanation the their querries. I just old them the truth - and they howled - and took the information to the others. In short order everyone was standing around me inspecting my ass and laughing. I was laughing too. It was just pretyy fucking laughable. I had slowly oozing blood trickles running down my butt, and it did pack a fairly substantial sting. Some of them penetrated 3/8's to 1/2 an inch.

Fortunately it didn't completely stop the scene. We returned to it in a few minutes and she seemed to pick up pretty much where she had been left.

Later that evening I took a  look at the pants I was wearing. There was blood splotch about 3" in diameter on the right cheek and pocket. They have been consigned to work pants since, and the incident was about 7 years ago, but sometimes when I pull them out I've forgotten about that experience, and upon seeing the stain, faded as it is, I still get a good chuckle at myself, and a good memory of introducing her to new levels of play and lifestyle experience, even if a bit unconventional and unorthodox.

Mumorously,

Bleeding butt Uncle Nasty

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 2:58:59 PM   
MmeGigs


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Joined: 1/26/2008
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We were spending the weekend with a group of friends.  Our hosts were a M/f couple.  Our hostess was a gracious and rather reserved lady who was experiencing some unfortunate intestinal distress. 

Her owner and some others bound her up, got a lighter, tickled her until she released and lit up her farts. 

She turned a shade of red I don't think I've ever seen in nature.  Those of us observing nearly had to safeword - we were laughing so hard it was painful.

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 3:13:12 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UncleNasty
Bleeding butt Uncle Nasty


Great.  Now I have an entirely new vision that I don't really want... Bleeding Butt Uncle Nasty.

By the way, next time it happens, soak yer pants overnight in cold water with a splash of laundry soap.  Will get it right out.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 4:24:34 PM   
Aanakaris


Posts: 310
Joined: 4/8/2008
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A few years ago I was introducing a novice to anal sex. I had her handcuffed to the bedframe on her back, but otherwise unbound. She was really getting into the warm up spanking and foreplay. When we started she very quickly went from "this feels weird" to "Oh my god don't stop!" and I was having a great time. Until she orgasmed, with quite a surprise to us both she turned out to be a squirter when combined with anal. It was like a freaking fire hose. When she finished I looked like the lower half of my body had been hit with a water baloon. She was embarrased, having no real idea what had just occured, but I just started laughing. We had to change the sheets and take a long shower after.

Howard

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 5:53:48 PM   
kyraofMists


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Well our last 'funny' experience I did not consider funny at all, but he could hardly stop laughing the entire time.

He had Alandra mummified and laying on the floor and was getting bored, so he started playing with me.  Staple gun, pony-tail holders and fish weights were all he needed.  The staples secured the pony-tail holders pulled taunt to my breasts, thighs and arms.  Then the fish weights were hung on them.

Just attaching staples and then leaving them is not so bad; they stop hurting after a bit.  However, constantly applying tension to them makes them keep hurting and adding weights increases the pain. 

Then he decided to make the weights move...  Needless to say I was crying and begging and he laughed through most of it.  I didn't find it funny, but he did.

Our previous play, he had me on a wobble board and apparently it was rather amusing to watch me keep my balance.  And a new friend of ours decided to leave the play space because the comments spilling out of my mouth were making her laugh.

It is rare for there to not be some laughter in our interactions, especially during play.  It's fun and I tend to have a rather smart mouth during play  *eg*

Knight's Kyra


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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 6:26:24 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
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I was working late. The lady that I was involved with, came up to see me. She was dressed to the nines. Fur coat, high heals, stockings and (when she opened the coat) .. nothing else. We started kissing and were looking out the window (we were on 14th floor). I said the view was much better from my boss's office. We went in and the view of downtown was spectacular. I was petting her and we we looking out over the city. Suddenly, I had to have her. I took her over to my boss's desk and laid her on it. I took some chord and tied her hands and legs to the desk legs. I took her. She loved it, squirting all over. I think I even came extra. I untied her, put her coat back on and we left. Yep, mess on desk and chords on legs. It was an interesting talk with my boss the next morning.

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 8:49:28 PM   
willingmale1


Posts: 12
Joined: 3/8/2008
Status: offline
i had gone over to my submissives house One day and had a nice little session before she had to go to work. I have all my gear in this little duffle bag and when i left i had just thrown the bag onto my back set of my car.On my way home i stopped off at the bar and had a few drinks . When i get home I open the back door of the car and the bag is gone . Now im pissed off that someone has stolen all the gear that i had spent so much time and money collecting over a number of years. But when I started thinking about what the person who took it must have though when they opened it to find it full of dildos , vibrators, rope, cuffs ,chains,paddles,nipple clamps............................i just started lol. ah well it gave me a reason to shop for all new stuff right

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 9:06:03 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: UncleNasty
Bleeding butt Uncle Nasty


Great.  Now I have an entirely new vision that I don't really want... Bleeding Butt Uncle Nasty.

By the way, next time it happens, soak yer pants overnight in cold water with a splash of laundry soap.  Will get it right out.

Cali



Some mistakes, Cali, I only make once. The whartenberg will never go in any of my pockets again.

Healed butt Uncle Nasty

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 9:29:12 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UncleNasty

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: UncleNasty
Bleeding butt Uncle Nasty


Great.  Now I have an entirely new vision that I don't really want... Bleeding Butt Uncle Nasty.

By the way, next time it happens, soak yer pants overnight in cold water with a splash of laundry soap.  Will get it right out.

Cali



Some mistakes, Cali, I only make once. The whartenberg will never go in any of my pockets again.

Healed butt Uncle Nasty


Good! Because i am with Cali... a Bleeding Nasty is just not a good image! If it ever happens again call me - i can fix it!

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
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There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/23/2008 9:48:23 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
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Once coming home from college, my folks found my bag of gear.  And naturally, they rifled through it. 

For a few hours, we pretended nothing happened. 

At dinner we maintained our decorum for a few minutes, then my dad asked, "Sooo, howcome you need *two* ballgags?"  

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/24/2008 5:02:53 AM   
dawntreader


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrrchibald

At dinner we maintained our decorum for a few minutes, then my dad asked, "Sooo, howcome you need *two* ballgags?"  



 Now THAT is Funny! What did you reply to that?!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/24/2008 6:14:40 AM   
XaneKandor


Posts: 14
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline
I got one for the books. It was with an old girlfriend of mine. She is primarily submissive and I was not opposed to trying it for a change and she wanted to try her hand at being dominant. So here I was, all decked out in ladies apperal...and I mean the whole nine yards. Well back to the story. There I was...tied to the bed and she was doing her very best....and some how...I dont even know how it happened...I was back on top....and it happened so fast that I literally had to stop and go "wow". I mean that I stopped in the middle of all of it. In the middle of the cuffs, ice, and hot wax, I looked up and just like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix, I went, "wow". Facial expression and everything. You would have had to see it. Picture it if you will....me all dressed in a pink flowing party dress, painted nails, jewelry, and high heels....dominating.....I mean, I have nothing against looking pretty and all :), but it I wish I had a picture to show you all....It was just the funniest thing in the world.

And I have another one with the same girl. We were going at it one night. She wanted to experirement with anal sex. I had not really gotten into it at the time but I was willing to try it. I will try almost anything once. So we are going at it hard and heavy to get her worked up and I pull out of her pussy and I push it into her rear. She complained about the pain briefly but soon was really into it...she was moaning up a storm. And than suddenly, a release of air from her pussy.....At first it was just one but than it was happening everytime that I thrusted in. I was trying to hide my smile and keep from cracking up but soon I pulled out and fell off the bed laughing...I than went into the bathroom to clean up and she followed me there...releasing that air with every step. I fell into the bathtube.


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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/24/2008 2:48:22 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
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We were engaged in some pretty mentally, emotionally and physcially intense play.  I was sitting on the floor bound, tears streaming down my face, snot, drool - the whole bit.

During play, He kept asking me these "catch 22" questions where I couldn't win with any answer...... so I would choose the safest one.......  "whatever you think Master".

I was exhausted and in pain, but I knew He wasn't quite done with me yet.  He knelt behind me and whispered evilly in my ear....... "do you know what's coming next?"  And before He could do or say anything else, His dog walks up and gives me this BIG ole wet slurpity slurpy kiss right across my face!  I started giggling and then He lost it and started laughing..... thus ending our scene.

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/24/2008 3:45:57 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
-=The SAM’s Revenge on Me=-
I am in a private dungeon with some friends among which is the hostess and her very, very SAM type sub.  There were no edge players there except me.  Her sub had been bad and she was playing head games and mind fucking him with the threat that she would let me beat him.  He finally went over the edge and she asked me if I would apply some punishment on her behalf.  I hadn’t brought gear, it was all very impromptu and with the exception of a canoe oar on the wall, most of it was pretty fluffy stuff.  I talked with the Mistress and she said he was ‘unbreakable’.  So, I soaked my T-shirt and beat his ass with a wet T-shirt.  He didn’t even whimper but I bet his ass stung pretty good!

Later, I was deeply in the zone with my slave and a potential new slave.  We were totally focused, the world had melted and only we existed.  While I was kneeling down tying her up on the floor I hear this tremendous WHACK cut through the ether of our separate world.  I thought to myself, someone really just got it good.  Thirty seconds goes by and then a wave of BURNING PAIN swept over my ass like it was on fire.  That bastard SAM had snuck up behind me and hit me with the oar in revenge! 

We all laughed as the peanut gallery described how he tip toed up behind me and used a two handed baseball bat swing to hit me.  I took it in stride while asking his Mistress if I could play with him again in the very near future.  I rubbed my ass a bit though, a wooden canoe oar has a little sting to it.

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/24/2008 5:27:51 PM   
Daddyslilgirl217


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/27/2008
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Ok, one time a previous Daddy and I were playing we ended up having company unexpectedly. The furniture delivery guys arrived while we were scening and I didn't have time to get dressed properly.  He ran into the other room and made me answer the door as I was. I could have fallen right through the floor. So yeah, I opened the door dressed up like a slutty schoolgirl, wearing 5-inch school-girl type shoes, fishnets, collar, and wristcuffs. Thank God Daddy took the ballgag out of my mouth and undid the chain on my wristcuffs. lol  It certainly made for an interesting story. I called my mom and told her about it and she very nearly died laughing... then she told my dad... then her friends (she was at their house)... then she told my aunt... then my aunt told my uncle. We all went bowling the next day (mom, dad, their friends, aunt, uncle, myself) and yeah they would NOT stop messing with me about it. Teasing me incessantly.Oh yeah, a little back-story after the fact... I came out to most of my family last year.

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RE: Funny BDSM experiences - 5/24/2008 6:06:52 PM   
CharmedAnne


Posts: 73
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline
So my ex and I one time were playing around for a few hours and my bed started to move away from the wall about 7 inches or so. I finally got to the point of pushing things to hard and he turned me over to spank me. He raised his hand and reared up and completely fell backwards off the bed.

I was laughing so hard I couldnt see straight! He finally started ordering me to help him up but I was laughing so hard I couldnt.

Since then my bed is securly fastened to the wall.

Anne

< Message edited by CharmedAnne -- 5/24/2008 6:08:42 PM >


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Anne

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