Control Mechanisms

Control Mechanisms (Full Version)

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NorthernGent -> Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 7:39:00 AM)
'Curious to hear posters' thoughts on the following: a) Your view on the most valuable control tools. b) Do you prefer (and why) to keep it simple and readily understood, or ensure you have a raft of means at your disposal to fit the occasion? c) To what extent do your control tools evolve in line with your subject? All replies will be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Dnomyar -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:06:51 AM)
Ok teach me something. What are control tools?

Madame4a -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:07:16 AM)
a) Your view on the most valuable control tools. I'm not sure what you mean here. I don't use punishment so 'tools' like that are out. I'm quiet and insistent and I repeat often. I tend to be clear and consistent. b) Do you prefer (and why) to keep it simple and readily understood, or ensure you have a raft of means at your disposal to fit the occasion? Simple is always good -- if I set out a few things to be done, I remember that usually three things are the max my current boi can remember. Sometimes she can handle four, but I just go with three and then she usually remembers them all. My experience tells me that three is a magic number in many cases, though not all. I do think its important to be appropriate for the occasion.. some things are more important than others and its good to know that, and be clear about it c) To what extent do your control tools evolve in line with your subject? They must.. there is no cookie cutter formula for all -- I think that one of the biggest mistakes I've seen dominants make is assuming that what was good in the last relationship is going to work in the new one. Everyone is different.

NorthernGent -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:09:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Ok teach me something. What are control tools? The means of generating behaviour in line with your expectations; for example, empowerment, discipline, supervision etc.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:10:08 AM)
My mind is the only control tool I ever use. Any equipment I play with, any items of just my hands... they are all extensions of the mental control I already have. DV

DominantJenny -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:31:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent The means of generating behaviour in line with your expectations; for example, empowerment, discipline, supervision etc. I find mostly positive reinforcement works best with the types of partners I choose. I also choose partners who are already in line with my expectations to a certain minimum level. Ultimately, it's about knowing my partner better than s/he knows her/himself, and then using that knowledge to affect his/her behavior. This includes sussing out the underlying reasons behind negative behaviors, treating the "disease" and not the "symptom". A little of everything has probably come into play at one point or another...limiting your options has no real benefit that I've ever seen, and so I don't.

Dnomyar -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:40:24 AM)
OK then I will go with DV and say you mind is the most important control tool. I would use that and go along with DJ and use positive reinforcement. In the long run useing equipment on someone to control them leads to resentment. Parental equipment use lead me to that statement.

Justme696 -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 8:48:10 AM)
my control tools are the loyalty of my girl and her will to accept my corrections

boytoy4female -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 9:00:09 AM)
The best control mechanism is found by stripping one down to their naked basic self. Self change is most often accomplished in times of necessity.The desires for pleasure and sexual release are the ultimate control mechanisms. Once you are able to control these, other items can be introduced. I can assure you, after repetitive tease & denial, I have found that I am willing to agree to/ submit to just about anything. Usually these "agreements" seem ok in my desparation. But, at some point after the madness of desire has lessened, the agreement does not seem like such a good idea. Thus introducing other tools of control. It is my belief, especially with males, if you can control their sexual desires, you can control them. Masturbating without permission, after prolonged tease and denial (several days worth), led my domme to discover a very powerful control item. Did you ever try masturbate or feel empowered when duct taped into a diaper. The rustling sound, inability to use a restroom, restriction, etc all combine to give you no choice but to crawl back and beg for forgiveness.

mzbehavin -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 9:06:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: boytoy4female The best control mechanism is found by stripping one down to their naked basic self. Self change is most often accomplished in times of necessity.The desires for pleasure and sexual release are the ultimate control mechanisms. Masturbating without permission, after prolonged tease and denial (several days worth), led my domme to discover a very powerful control item. Did you ever try masturbate or feel empowered when duct taped into a diaper. The rustling sound, inability to use a restroom, restriction, etc all combine to give you no choice but to crawl back and beg for forgiveness. I've not tried it but it sounds very effective. Clever Domme, grins* Besides sexual release motivation, i am very motivated by positive reinforcement. A good girl, or nice job, goes a long way.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 12:58:46 PM)
quote: c) To what extent do your control tools evolve in line with your subject? i am interested in how Doms answer this question. In my experience, some Doms were easily frustrated because i didn't respond to stimulus "a" as former subs did...or that i needed different direction due to a difference in personalities. i always assumed each Dom would vary His style according to the sub...but apparently, i made an incorrect assumption. Is the desired effect a sort of uniform set of power mechanisms that a Dominant can use, as the relationship evolves? With each new partner, does there need to be an evolution, or even a change in "tools"?

crouchingtigress -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 1:01:21 PM)
an arched eyebrow can be pretty durn effective[:)]

lizcgirl -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 1:29:49 PM)
As a slave, positive re-enforcement is huge, even a simple "good girl" makes me want to please Him even more and make Him proud. For discipline, something immediate and direct and fitting. It depends on what I do what punishment I recieve, but the most powerful one was mental, not physical. Being told "I'm disappointed in you" hurt more than the physical punishment that followed and it's those words that linger more and keep me in check when He isn't around.

Prinsexx -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 1:32:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent 'Curious to hear posters' thoughts on the following: a) Your view on the most valuable control tools. b) Do you prefer (and why) to keep it simple and readily understood, or ensure you have a raft of means at your disposal to fit the occasion? c) To what extent do your control tools evolve in line with your subject? All replies will be appreciated. Thanks in advance. Oh hell! Is this another experiment by Milgram?????

DominantJenny -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 2:12:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp quote: c) To what extent do your control tools evolve in line with your subject? i am interested in how Doms answer this question. In my experience, some Doms were easily frustrated because i didn't respond to stimulus "a" as former subs did...or that i needed different direction due to a difference in personalities. i always assumed each Dom would vary His style according to the sub...but apparently, i made an incorrect assumption. Is the desired effect a sort of uniform set of power mechanisms that a Dominant can use, as the relationship evolves? With each new partner, does there need to be an evolution, or even a change in "tools"? It's always frustrating when something you are used to relying on has to get thrown out the window, but that's life! Adapt...flexibility means acheiving your goals more successfully.

slavegirljoy -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 2:12:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 my control tools are the loyalty of my girl and her will to accept my corrections This is the same with my Master and me. He needs only 1 "control mechanism" with me and that is a compliant servant. So long as He has the continued, devoted, free-will compliance to His rule that this Voluntary Erotic Servant has had since the day i walked into His life and into His collar, with my eyes wide open and knowing full well what He expected and required of me, then He needs no other tools to control me. He doesn't need to use any manipulation or coercive persuasion on me. He doesn't need to use threats of punishment or promises of rewards with me. And, He doesn't need to use positive reinforcement and stroke my ego with praise for my good service. He found Himself a willing servant who understood and agreed to His terms of service to Him and i came to Him willingly ready to obey Him and follow His rule. joy Owned servant of Master David

DesFIP -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 2:32:18 PM)
He tells me what he wants. I do my best. If I can't do it, I explain what the problem is and he attempts to solve it. Some things I need broken down into small steps and shown how to do each step, one at a time and not moving on until I get it. Somethings I just never get and he accepts that. I want him to be happy with me. What else is there?

SirsNe -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 6:04:14 PM)
I have a pet of my own. I find that he reacts best to emotional factors. If I am disappointed in him then he gets very upset and wants only to rectify his mistakes... it also serves to bond us more firmly when postive reinforcement of his corrected action comes... thinks maybe that wasn't explained to well

marieToo -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 6:27:13 PM)
I think it's probably Need. If someone believes that they need something or someone then I think it's much easier to control them. Sexual desire probably runs a close second.

Leatherist -> RE: Control Mechanisms (5/21/2008 6:27:16 PM)
Choosing a partner who is not an imbecile.

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