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RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 10:44:43 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

I think it's a matter of the more experienced ones being more in tune with what they (we) want, both in a partner and in ourselves. I'd like to have a Dom, but it's not realistic for me at this time; and like Missokyst said, I'd prefer to be alone than to settle for what I don't want or what won't work for me just to have someone in my life. It's frustrating sometimes, and slightly depressing at other times, but all in all better than being in a relationship for most of the wrong reasons.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 21

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 10:48:43 AM

TiedDreams

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/30/2007
Status: offline

On the surface experience is good; as it can help one clarify who they are and where they wish to go further. Each person I have met helps me understand more of what I want and how to acheive it. It also clarifies what I don't want more of and how to avoid it. Of course as the famous quote goes...life is what happens while we are busy making plans. All relationships are living entities...they evolve in ways we can't predict. Experience at least gives us a foundation to ask better questions at the entry phase. Once we raise anchor and leave the dock I suppose the amount of baggage brought on board may or may not sink the ship... Hmmm...maybe we should be like the airlines and have baggage limits up frront. Now it you can just fit in this carry on box my dear...

(in reply to Skully7000)

Post #: 22

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 11:49:24 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My question is does it influence your dession to pass them over because they have had a relationship with another Dom/Domme.

I know that Valyraen does not care.

Edited to add: Baggage does matter to him, as it does to me. But everyone has baggage so what matters to us it how a person is handling it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 5/21/2008 11:51:37 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 23

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 1:58:20 PM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Honestly, not an issue or factor for me personally.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 24

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 2:25:20 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

Hmm. I've never been with a "virgin sub". All I get is baggage.

I like the baggage where they already know how to blow me. I dislike the baggage where they refuse to acknowledge that I have a preference different from what a previous owner taught them.

That makes me think of Copy Machines as well.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 25

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 2:27:44 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

This thought came to me while I was at the copy machine this morning. I notice a lot of post on here from old subs/slaves on here saying that they can't find a Dom/Domme. I don't mean age wise just the ones who have been around here for a while. Seems most of them have had past relationships with Dom/Dommes already.

My question is does it influence your dession to pass them over because they have had a relationship with another Dom/Domme.

Oh, so my '15 years' experience in the lifestyle counts for nothing but a dom's 15 years does?
Well I wish somebody had a told me...I would play virgin.....

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 26

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 2:29:41 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

Hmm. I've never been with a "virgin sub". All I get is baggage.

Yes but there's a difference between Pandora's Box and a can of worms....

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Lumus)

Post #: 27

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 2:30:13 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Oh, so my '15 years' experience in the lifestyle counts for nothing but a dom's 15 years does?
Well I wish somebody had a told me...I would play virgin.....

Virgins don't writhe like that.

*leers*

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 28

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 2:40:14 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Oh, so my '15 years' experience in the lifestyle counts for nothing but a dom's 15 years does?
Well I wish somebody had a told me...I would play virgin.....

Virgins don't writhe like that.

*leers*

oh you mean that snake-shedding-its-skin-type-writhe? yes it's quite an art form....takes a few lifetime's to perfect not just 15 yearssssssssssssss.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Lumus)

Post #: 29

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 3:22:41 PM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline

LOL Doms come with baggage too...... some have been jilted or taken advantage of by a sub or slave and go forward with a chip on their shoulders ....some get into bdsm because of a past wife who basically wore the pants and instead want somebody they can control ... others are in love with a past sub or slave and are constantly talking about or comparing the new sub to the old one...they are not immuned to past relationship problems or experiences.

The last dom I was seeing ...I happened to remind him strongly of a past sub of 8 years who he had fell in love with but in the end she decided to go back with her ex husband.. he was still in love with her despite several years passing, every meet he was telling me how special she was, how beautiful she was and was trying to recreate that time with her thru me... I decided to end as I don't want to fill someone elses shoes or constantly be compared to because I am going to fail to measure up to his expectations because I am not her.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 30

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 3:35:31 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

If people in general wouldn't have a relationship because of a prior relationship, then none of us would date after high school. hehe.
Past relationships aren't necessarily a predictor of how a current relationship will go. You are different, and they are different. Past experiences change us, and influence us. Unless the sub/dom is pineing for a past relationship, there is no reason why a new relationship shouldn't work out, if both parties are realistic. After all, communication is paramount (pious grin).

(in reply to Maya2001)

Post #: 31

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 3:37:50 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

This thought came to me while I was at the copy machine this morning. I notice a lot of post on here from old subs/slaves on here saying that they can't find a Dom/Domme. I don't mean age wise just the ones who have been around here for a while. Seems most of them have had past relationships with Dom/Dommes already.

My question is does it influence your dession to pass them over because they have had a relationship with another Dom/Domme.

I am very influenced by dominants I have been/am in relationship with. By that I mean both real-time and cyber. And indeed the Dommes. As indeed the subs....all have influenced me. I learn something every single day. It's a never ending process. It's like being in love permanently.
OK all you hard hearted skeptics. I love the dynamic. That's it really. What really always amazes me is the way that a 'normal' human beings actiually have this/that kink. They have that unspoken understanding of power exchange as erotic/sexual/attractive/essentail. And then! when that person actually starts to communicate how it is that they like their dynamic to unfold|: well it's captivating to me (excuse pun). I am truly fascinated. It still catches me out sometimes and I think inwardly: oh you mean it turns you on to do that!
Baggage is a cruel word. It conjures up concepts such as heaviness, excess, old, and is a word that emerged as a catchphrase of experiential trainings of the late seventies and early eighties.
It's a pity.
I really wish we didn't have oppositional, dualistic, genderised language.
Can't think of a word for it, but I need a word to express experience as meaning the same a readiness.....do you catch my meaning?
Poise......something like that......

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 32

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 5:21:19 PM

Real_Trouble

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

I would say "it depends". What really matters is what the person is like, and how they act. Experience and / or inexperience is often not a good predictor of that kind of thing; practice makes permanent, as one of my friends says.

So it depends what you are experienced with, and how you regard it. In short, I have no hard and fast rule, and try to evaluate each person as I see them. There are people who are 'experienced' in ways where they clearly are dysfunctional (and at fault for it) that I want nothing to do with; there are inexperienced people who are clearly naive twits. There are also people who are experienced who have learned valuable things and are thus quite compelling, and inexperienced people who clearly have potential and perspective already.

Could go in any number of directions. It depends.

_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 33

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 5:30:51 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

quote:

I asked thequestion because I see a lot of subs floating around with nowhere to go.

Dnomyar, you need to start a nice safe haven home for wayward sluts. You have an adorable smile and a face like a monk, they will trust you. (Damnit, now you got my monastary fantasies going again!)
If you won't do it, i think i'll have to try to talk Master into it. What better way to find a nice sister or 3 or 32 then to have a whole safehouse full of them, all trusting us and turning to us for protection and security, and all needing a good beating!

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 34

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 6:34:14 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

You think Ray has a face like a MONK?

He reminds me of the janitor who has something "special" in his closet...... but not in a bad way!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 35

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 6:46:09 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

I don't really care what their experience level is. I'm looking for someone to live the rest of my life with. There are a lot of things that are important:
Can you live with a damn pinko liberal (well ... I've been called it enough .. I just consider myself a passionate Democrat)
Do you love umms and consider them a trust? (I have 5 from 7 to 22 ... most important thing in my life).
Can we carry on a conversation about things ranging from politics to philosophy to religion .. AND ENJOY IT?
Can you accept me with all my faults and see what is good in me?
Can we love each other?
Will I be enough for you (and I expect you to be enough for me)?
Can you live in the country?
Do you like wine and good food?
Can you or do you want to learn to ride horse?
Can you put up with my barbarian?
Can we be open enough about our needs to satisfy each other?
These and many other things are the most important.
Previous experience is actually meaningless. I'm not who you were with before and you are not who I was with before. So, its all new.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 36

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 6:50:15 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Michael, the SECOND you get over this absurd notion that you want a submissive, CALL ME. You can even spank me and tie me up! As long as you don't mind that I laugh....

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 37

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 10:58:06 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

No, it doesn't. In fact, it makes a statement about them if they've been able to have and maintain a relationship for a significant amount of time (that being defined as two-three years min for me).

That being said, I'm not against being that first relationship, either.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 38

RE: Copy Machine - 5/21/2008 11:27:21 PM

LDRandAstarte

Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

i dont care who you are...but we ALL have baggage...fortunately mine is on my chest...wait..thats boobage....

Keep speaking for yourself thank you.

_____________________________

When I die, I want to go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like the other three passengers in his car.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 39

RE: Copy Machine - 5/22/2008 3:57:21 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

This thought came to me while I was at the copy machine this morning. I notice a lot of post on here from old subs/slaves on here saying that they can't find a Dom/Domme. I don't mean age wise just the ones who have been around here for a while. Seems most of them have had past relationships with Dom/Dommes already.

My question is does it influence your dession to pass them over because they have had a relationship with another Dom/Domme.

People on this site who have never been in a D/s relationship are uncommon so what do you expect to see here? Why concentrate so much on whether the submissive is affected by her past in a guilt ridden or other negative way. The odds are she isn’t anymore than you are affected by your past. Why make her feel guilty when she probably doesn’t?

To ask if Doms should consider passing over these submissives is judgmental and assigns a negative, downbeat aspect to them because of their pasts. Look inward.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 40

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