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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 9:43:53 AM

Mercnbeth

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some folks express a lot of joy and relief when they discover those boxes, and climb right in. especially when, in their vanilla experience, those boxes were labelled "sick" or "disgusting" or "in need of therapy, intervention or exorcism of some sort" instead of "submissive" or "slave".

it has been this slave's experience that dominance isn't viewed by vanilla society in a negative light, however, submission is.

the rules and expectations are different, for this slave, in an M/s relationship, then they would be in a "vanilla" one and this slave is glad of it.

by the way, this slave's box resembles a nice, comfy cage.

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 9:53:54 AM

ownedgirlie

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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
it has been this slave's experience that dominance isn't viewed by vanilla society in a negative light, however, submission is.

I will echo this experience, personally speaking.

I also agree with the notion that sometimes people will hop out of a mainstream box and into a different kind of box. I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing, although I do believe it limits perspectives. I lived in predefined "boxes" for so long, and I want to be a person that doesn't rely on such boxes. I think perhaps that is why I am always hesitant to join groups of sorts - whether "lifestyle" or otherwise. But maybe that's a way of limiting perspective, too.

I remember a sermon I once heard, when I was still practicing a Chritian faith. The Pastor was talking about circles, rather than boxes, but it's a similar idea. He was saying people have an idea of what is "right" and what others should think and believe in, and those who do not think like them are not allowed in their circle. But you can keep drawing that circle, narrowing it and narrowing it, until the only one left in it is you. I realized then, I don't ever want to be the only one left in my circle.

It's interesting stuff to think about (at least for me!).

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 9:58:03 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
it has been this slave's experience that dominance isn't viewed by vanilla society in a negative light, however, submission is.

I will echo this experience, personally speaking.

I also agree with the notion that sometimes people will hop out of a mainstream box and into a different kind of box. I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing, although I do believe it limits perspectives. I lived in predefined "boxes" for so long, and I want to be a person that doesn't rely on such boxes. I think perhaps that is why I am always hesitant to join groups of sorts - whether "lifestyle" or otherwise. But maybe that's a way of limiting perspective, too.

I remember a sermon I once heard, when I was still practicing a Chritian faith. The Pastor was talking about circles, rather than boxes, but it's a similar idea. He was saying people have an idea of what is "right" and what others should think and believe in, and those who do not think like them are not allowed in their circle. But you can keep drawing that circle, narrowing it and narrowing it, until the only one left in it is you. I realized then, I don't ever want to be the only one left in my circle.

It's interesting stuff to think about (at least for me!).

I like the idea of circles rather then boxes mostly because when my kids would do circle graphs in school the circles always overlapped and it was to illustrate how two unlike items had overlaps which made them more like then previously noticed. (I hope I'm illustrating that like I mean to)

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 10:08:08 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I like the idea of circles rather then boxes mostly because when my kids would do circle graphs in school the circles always overlapped and it was to illustrate how two unlike items had overlaps which made them more like then previously noticed. (I hope I'm illustrating that like I mean to)

I know exactly what you mean about overlapping - I've seen that in various diagrams. I like the idea of circles, too, because circles don't necessarily eliminate various "types" of groups, and you can branch out all over. :)

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Post #: 44

RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 10:11:20 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

We can go on and on.....

You're right; let's not.

I'm living in a box, I'm living in a cardboard box.......

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 10:18:03 AM

Justme696

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Joined: 1/7/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

We can go on and on.....

You're right; let's not.

I'm living in a box, I'm living in a cardboard box.......

yeah good old 80's ;)

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 10:19:04 AM

Justme696

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Ever see the Polish dolls. You pick up the big one and there is another inside of it. and another and so forth.

russian :P
http://www.souvenir.spb.ru/images/matrioshka/6l.jpg

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/20/2008 10:35:14 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

People are silly, and tend to think that BDSM is a nice padded room, where you can't get hurt if you throw your common sense out with the garbage.

Just because you are kinky, does not make you special.

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RE: the box that we put ourselves in - 5/21/2008 5:25:37 PM

vampchick88

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Joined: 4/10/2007
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Myself and pet were just talking about the 'box' that most people tend to be in. We both decided after all the things I've done and do in life that I'm no where near a box. To hell with the box, just be yourself and enjoy everything in life you possibly can!

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Post #: 49