RE: Offering advice: Is it rude?

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 4/30/2008 8:10:04 PM

tigerstyle

Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline

I'll mention something like a bad choice of background color and typeface, in a profile that's otherwise interesting. Just on the friendly tip, like "good stuff, but I could barely read it."

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 4/30/2008 8:10:11 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I dunno.. I get criticized all the time on my profile... I'm not a submissive, my pictures are fake... ect... Do I pay any attention to the people that have nothing better than pick apart my stuff? No, not particularly.

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 4/30/2008 8:16:07 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

<fast reply>

One writer to another, polishing others' profiles sounds like an alluring and never-ending procrastination opportunity.

You might want to save your creative energy for your own work.

Good luck!

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 4/30/2008 8:30:32 PM

Samii

Posts: 67
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline

I dont mind if people say stuff about My profile, some time I get oh your ugly, fat, gross ect ect but I could really careless what people think about me. I speak the truth on My profile I say what im looking for I dont beat around the bush.

I tryed saying/asking people about there profiles it just turned into a fight so I just ignore them

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 4/30/2008 8:39:24 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

No better cure for dork boredom than a flame war. Boy howdy, watch 'em crawl out of the bbcode bbcorners...

And if they can't find one, they'll start one vis. a vis. profile comments. Or thread bashing. (yay thread bashing!) If they can't start one, they'll whine.

I enjoy troll baiting, unless I like the blog/thread author and don't want them to drown in troll poo... but O/W, troll baiting is fun.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 4/30/2008 8:41:02 PM >

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 4/30/2008 8:57:27 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I'd consider it unnecessary and inappropriate- it's their profile. Unless they specifically ask for advice, or you are very close to them, just let it go.

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 5/1/2008 12:21:03 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR~

personally, I appreciate input on my profile.

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 5/1/2008 12:42:45 AM

slaveboyforyou

Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline

I wouldn't say it's rude exactly. But I don't know why you feel compelled to do this. I look at profiles for only a few reasons here:

1. I am curious about a poster on the message boards, and I want to know who
    they are.

2. I saw an attractive photo, and I want to know more about the person. Yes
    I am subsceptible to visual stimulation....sue me.

3. I read something the person said in their posts, journal, or first paragraph of
    their profile that attracted me; and I want to see more.

4. The person emailed me, and I want to know more about them.

Now after reading one of those profiles, I make a decision on whether I want to speak to them or not. If I am not interested, I pass it by. I never feel the need to point out how their profile is substandard (according to my standards.) I will ask questions if I see something in the profile I don't understand (if I am interested). But I would never initially criticize them for those things.

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 5/1/2008 7:40:37 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

IMO only people that post are worth getting to know. Being that you can back up- that the profile is an actual person, and if you have commen ground.

I believe negative attracts negative in profiles. Also- when a person makes the profile what the say- and what they think they said are 2 different things.

Woman get approached alot.

The more content you have in a profile the more it says you are worth knowing.

A female friend had a neg profile on a dating site. I told her to re-word it. Now she gets dates. I also told her to try not to overwhelm the guy by talking too much.
Anyhow she has now met a handful of dates.

One liners- well on that-I have recived a whole blurb, but so vague likely it was cut and pasted with no edititng. so that tells me "spam".

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 5/1/2008 7:48:10 AM

EnigmaticElf

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Offering unsolicited advice is pretty much never considered tactful or courteous. Some people may take it well, and some people will not. In general, I think it's a much better idea to MYOB. The people who get the best reputation as being helpful do so in an entirely unobtrusive way, and do not "help" people who don't want it.

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 5/1/2008 3:44:34 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

There are some members, both tops and bottoms, that put absolutely no text in their profile. I am much more hesitant about responding to an email where someone has chosen not to put down a single word.

I have asked people from time to time if they would like a little help to spruce up their profile. Most people are grateful for the help; some don't want it. (I hate it when Dominate is used in place of Dominant, for instance. If a Dom wants to come across as big and tough and strong I don't want to see that he can't even use lifestyle grammar correctly, or that his profile is littered with bad grammar and mispellings. It may sound unfair, but if I can't trust a man enough to run his public description of himself through a spell checker then why would I entrust my body with him?)

I have helped both subs and Doms, but only after asking for permission. If I simply wrote to someone and said, "Why don't you change these things?", then I would expect to be thought of as rude.

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RE: Offering advice: Is it rude? - 5/1/2008 6:00:35 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

A profile is someone's personal space here on CM. It's their box where they can put anything and everything they want into it.

I mean would you walk up to a hoodie and suggest they take down the hood so people can see their face better? Would you walk into your neighbour's house and start rearranging the furniture? Would you then allow your neighbour to rearrange your face?

Personally I recommend MYOB - Mind your own business. It tends to keep you out of trouble.

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