Is BDSM enough or is there more?

Is BDSM enough or is there more? (Full Version)

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MidMichCowboy -> Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 7:30:06 PM)
What are you looking for in life? Is someone to beat or someone to beat you (OK, an over simplification) all that you are looking for? What will make your life complete? While I am looking for a lady to match certain needs that I have, I also want a lot of other things in life, a farm to become my oasis from life, a place to raise my children when they are with me, a companion to be with me on this journey we call life. Is just a BDSM relationship enough for you, or is there more in your life that you need to try and achieve? If there is more, how do you get it all? Or is it impossible?

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 7:36:32 PM)
I have found what I am looking for in life IN my D/s relationships. My 2 boys give me everything I could have wanted. Fox is my partner, my lover, my best friend, eventually will be my husband (cliche, aint it?) . Angel is my baby, another best friend and by far one of the best listeners I have ever met. They both need and depend on me. I love them dearly, Angel loves me, Fox is IN love with me. I couldnt be happier. There are other things I'd like, yes. I want a home large enough to stable a horse or two on. I want dogs again, but I cant have them and Angel at the same time. I want a large enough house that my friends never need to worry about hotels when they travel and visit, a place with a huge kitchen so I can cook as I want and a room that can serve as a photo studio. However, even if those things never happen, I am happy with what I have , and my boys. For me THEY are enough, een if they were vanilla and not BDSM, they would be all I needed. DV

DreamyLadySnow -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 7:52:25 PM)
Cowboy, sounds like you want a life, with bdsm as a part of it. That's how I think too. I hope there's more than just bdsm. LS

completenz -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 8:06:24 PM)
yes there is more and yes you can find. Lets see, C. was looking for a sub, a lover, a best friend. Someone who would love Him, His dog, His family and His home. His home being an old fishing boat that he has been converting into a houseboat. So, He wanted someone to love who would dress as instructed, live on a boat, love an old black dog, be part of His family (and even learn some Danish to fit in a little better!!) Someone who would love Him and support Him, laugh and cry with Him. Oh and it helps that she likes the single tail too[:)] Guess what, He found it and two months ago she became His wife. Dont give up, what you seek is out there c

littlewonder -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 8:14:17 PM)
I want it all!

KCherry -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 8:20:08 PM)
There is always room for more. But it's best to be happy with what you have till you get there.

LadyPact -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 8:54:28 PM)
No offense to not directing My first statement to the OP, but DV, you and I are alike in some ways! As another poly person, I have My two males that make Me quite happy. First, there is My husband who is My partner in life and the person I will grow old with. Then along came My sub, who made us a family of three. That did start out as 'looking for someone to beat' but it became more. Having both of them, I readily admit, has made this the best time of My entire life.

Willowmoon -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 9:07:04 PM)
I am looking (and think i have found) someone who loves, cherishes and adores me for who I am not who he thinks I should be. I am looking for someone who is strong enough to be my Master, who can keep control with just a look and sometimes not even that. Who shares similar kinky interest and who understands me. I am looking for someone to spend my life with, to have children, a home and pets with and who will support in my vanilla goals such as owning my own clinic one day. I am looking (and think I have found) My Master, lover and bestfriend. Willow

Quivver -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 9:20:22 PM)
Oh Hell NO it's not enough. I see it/this as an enhancement to what's good in life.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 10:08:50 PM)
From some people all I want is kink, from some people all I want is to spend all my life with them.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 10:23:26 PM)
All I want is a person who wants a dynamic that doesn't leave me clausterphobic. If I have to spell everything out and write everything down it isn't fun anymore. Steel

Corvidae -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 10:58:50 PM)
For me I would need so much more than BDSM to be happy... I need friends, family, something to do with my life, a place to stay, books to read, stuff to learn. Within a relationship, BDSM wouldn't necesarily make or break it. I had a great vanilla relationship that made me very happy. If I found someone who was fun to play with, but wasn't an interesting person otherwise, I don't think a relationship with them would make me happy. I need a little bit of everything (I'm greedy like that).

WestBayLoner -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/27/2008 11:20:27 PM)
It's a balance. I have many ambitions in life, but if goals a and b got in the way of relationship x, I'd have to prioritize. BDSM is inexorably connected to the emotional element to me, so, for example, a master and a husband wouldn't be mutually conflicting things to have in a partner.

MidMichCowboy -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 3:13:29 AM)
Has anyone found the BDSM part of your life making it impossible to get the rest ... or vice versa?

DesFIP -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 4:32:21 AM)
Just play and sex is not enough. I don't do casual. I don't get anything from it. Hell, I have trouble orgasming without a connection, just can't surrender sufficient control even for that if I don't know and like the guy. So once I've gotten to know and like him, to be friends, why not go further and have a relationship. We are best friends, first and foremost. And that's essential to me in a relationship. We have a deep and abiding love, liking and respect for one another. And we are happy to tolerate and indeed indulge each other's quirks. We have a lot of commonalities. We play cut throat mini golf, the winner having boasting rights for the rest of the day. We are devoted to the success of our children. I'll give his youngest advice on English papers, he's the person my oldest calls first for car trouble.

CarrieO -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 5:06:59 AM)
I want and need someone who can understand all sides of who I am.....the D/s side, artistic, spiritual, intellectual...ALL sides. Can a relationship be based solely on bdsm? For me, and for me only, the answer is no. I'm a multi-faceted person....I need the same. I want/need the whole package. I want/need a man/Dom who will allow for my desire to serve him and care for him and myself. A man that will support my search/exploration of the pagan/earthy/creative side of who I am and who is also able to join the search/exploration. I need a man who understands and believes in my dream to one day (soon) run my own cafe/food shop. Who likes the idea of raising goats and sheep and learning how to make cheese and all those fun "farm-y" things (fun but not quite so easy!). Horses...dogs...barn cats...lions/tigers/and bears...oh, my!!!!! I want it all....and I want a creative/deviant/domminant/loving/firm/fair man to enjoy it with. Too much to ask for? Maybe, but that's it folks!

everhope -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 5:19:29 AM)
in a relationship, i could not forgo D/s. the S/m well yeah i could go without it, if i did not find the right mix of sadist. i don't think any of us are just one dimensional and we all have dreams. everyone i know does anyway. may we all find our bliss, everhope

MladyHathor -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 5:35:00 AM)
Actually for Me its one of the last things to accomplish in My life---I have a good life, a good job, have raised an awesome UM, have My horses and now believe My head and My heart are ready to "add to the unit"---and its hardly for someone to beat-----be careful of generalizations--not all of us participate in the same manifestations.

chamberqueen -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 5:44:00 AM)
I already had much of what I wanted. My career takes me around the world. I am an internationally known expert in my field, just got appointed VP of an important international group, have a wonderful grown daughter that I see every week, etc. However, something was missing. When I got involved with my Master I thought that we would have some fun together, that I would run through the protocols, do my duties, enjoy a few sessions, but didn't expect to get much out of it but some entertainment for both of us. However, what I have found is the truest personal fulfillment I have ever had since raising my daughter. For the first time in my life I truly feel like I belong to someone. The journey has not been without a few bumps, but each time we hit one we pull together and come through it stronger. I have never felt so alive. Everyone needs balance in their life. Of course their has to be something else besides BDSM. Knowing that you are in a relationship with someone that you trust and who truly understands you, though, can help you to reach any other goals that you have.

mistoferin -> RE: Is BDSM enough or is there more? (4/28/2008 5:45:35 AM)
BDSM, D/s or even M/s could never be enough. Even though we can incorporate those things into most of our life, they are still only a part of who we are. When we form relationships we tend to gain some new interests or goals as our partners interests and goals can become a part of our union. But I have interests, goals, dreams and needs that are solely my own, things that no partner can entirely fill even though they may contribute to them or enhance them. I hear frustration in your post and I just want to say that I do understand that frustration. It was not all that long ago that I was feeling it myself and wondering if I would ever find all the pieces that would make the picture more complete. Knowing you though, I want to say that men like yourself are a rare find and I am confident that in time....it WILL come to be. Try to remember that the one you are looking for is a rare find also.....and sometimes it takes some real time to unearth a rare find. But the end result makes the effort worthwhile.

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