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Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 5:50:46 PM

shahla00

Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline

I am new to the lifestyle and am trying to learn the diffrances between the a Sub vs Slave... I have had several DOMs on here ask me why I wont be a slave.. I think it is because I don't understand the diffrance.. This may seem like a stupid question but I am wanting to learn from the people who have lived the life a while vs reading it on the web....

Thank You,

Post #: 1

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 5:54:35 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

Not a stupid question, but it will produce a number of stupid answers. As long as we don't have a State Committee for the Purity of Kink Terms which has police powers, people are pretty free to make up whatever definitions they want.

This is a perfect example of the danger of relying on terms and not asking "what do YOU mean by that. Sentences are better than words; paragraphs are better than sentences.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to shahla00)

Post #: 2

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 6:22:09 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

that time of the week again huh?

the difference is what you say it is ....

the search function is your friend...

the Twue handbook is available in the shop for $49.95 ...

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 3

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 6:54:06 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

A submissive takes the subordinate position in a D/s relationship. They do not have to surrender all control.
A slave, contrary to common belief, does not have to be a submissive. However, they have to surrender all control in a TPE.

isnt this the the same as the other thread?

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 4

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 7:03:54 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shahla00
I am new to the lifestyle and am trying to learn the diffrances between the a Sub vs Slave... I have had several DOMs on here ask me why I wont be a slave.. I think it is because I don't understand the diffrance.. This may seem like a stupid question but I am wanting to learn from the people who have lived the life a while vs reading it on the web....

In case you didn't know, they are mainly asking you about being a slave so they can impose their ridiculous ideas of what a "slave" is and does so they can get you to do what they want.

As for what the difference is, take your pick.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_586226/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#586267
Curious, sub v slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_515303/mpage_1/key_slave/tm.htm#515333
What is the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_308296/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#309867
sub or slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_342405/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#342794
~slave vs sub~

http://www.collarchat.com/m_410567/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#410982
slave or sub

http://www.collarchat.com/m_497775/mpage_1/key_submissive%252Cslave/tm.htm#497977
I'm new to this but...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893
Difference bet/submission and slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767
slub question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512
difference between slave and submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062
definition of "slave"

What's the difference between slaves and submissives?

Submissive or slave?

Slaves versus submissive

Submissive or slave? (2)

Submissive vs slave (2)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to shahla00)

Post #: 5

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 7:46:24 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If first thing off the bat a dom decides you should be a slave, then that's a red flag. Run don't walk.
What they're looking for is a girl he can pass around to his buddies and leave black eyes on when she refuses to bring her teenaged sister by for him to fuck.

When people talk about TPE it isn't something you do before you meet even. It requires tons of trust, a lot of time spent learning about the dom in question and deciding if he's smart enough to handle this much power. It means that if he decides you ought to lick some other girl's pussy even though it makes you nauseous that he knows you well enough to know that this won't cause you lasting problems. And that he's willing to deal with the nightmares and crying jags that might happen for months afterwards. You really think some guy you've never met will do that?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 6

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 10:41:35 PM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

sub is to Dom/me what slave is to Master/Mistress

_____________________________

OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.

http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
devotee of CM gods and mods

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 11:15:26 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

There is no set difference. There are people who would fit even the strictest definations of slave, yet do not consider themselves slaves, nor do their owners consider them slaves, for personal reasons. Ask them what they mean by slave - just like you can't impose what being a girlfriend means to your friends, no one else can impose what being a submissive or slave is on you. Unless they happen to own you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to phoenixinchains)

Post #: 8

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 11:31:47 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I see these types of threads get ruined by silly responses here on collar me. I worry about the poor newcomers really believing that there are no definitions or conflicting roles and terms. Then the newcomer ends up posting a few months later because they got involved with some nut job… all because someone just didn’t want to tell the truth. …like the post from the sub who’s Master makes her Dom him, or the girl who’s Dom is into infantism and has sibling rivalry with her kid.

The truth is there is a difference between sub and slave and in any public organization, any munch, public play party, dungeon or other real live BDSM event on this planet, you know what stereotype to expect if they are a bottom, a sub or a slave. It is 3 distinct sets of rules and protocols.

Look to the encyclopedia if you have to. Hell, even wikipedia has a better grip and feel for the roles in BDSM relationships than the strange responses you will find here on the CM forums sometimes.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to shahla00)

Post #: 9

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 11:34:25 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Pretty much, yes.

People just get burned out on spoon feeding-when the search function is so easy to use.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 10

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/25/2008 11:47:20 PM

chaosforge

Posts: 397
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: The Abyss
Status: offline

Perhaps folks could give a short run down of their relationship and the dynamic therein. Maybe? Come on y'all, a chance to gush on your sweetie...

_____________________________

Chaosforge
All begins in chaos and all will end in chaos.
I am that which has always been and will always be.
CHAOS !!!

I am Legion, for we are many.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 11

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/26/2008 3:08:56 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

My definition, and I repeat this my personal definition and the one I follow (Others have different ideas which I respect as long as they don't attempt to apply them to me and mine).

A submissive who is not identified as a slave by me, is one who may be part time (has a family or other life outside the Kink dynamic npot involving her Dominant) and usually has a list of things which she will and will not do when in sub mode with her Dominant. It is a limited dynamic which I may agree to when looking for casual play partners in BDSM.

A slave is a submissive who is collared to Bruin Cottage (or any Master/Mistress in a strict D/s dynamic and may or may not include sex and/or BDSM) as a slave. By the time the collar is in place, we will undersrtand each other enough not to need a list of hard limits for I will probably have made most of them mine if they are not already. Her servitude may or may not include sexual practices and/or BDSM as her primarey duty is a "service slave" in the home. Her goal will be to be found pleasing by both myself and my wife and to conplete the daily, weekly and mo nthly duties assigned to her. If lkater on I also take said slave as a personal servant, she will also hagve various personal services I may require. Such a slave is TPE preferably 24/7 and thus probably has no family and certainly no kids tagging allong. (I run a child free home unless you count one male teanager ~ 2 YO Male Malamute. I simply will never allow my personal freedoms to be inhibited by children, and certainly not in my home)

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)
.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/26/2008 3:10:28 AM >

(in reply to chaosforge)

Post #: 12

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/26/2008 3:46:13 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

shalalalalalalalala, the slave uses conventional methods to travel the sub uses the subway..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 13

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/26/2008 4:46:35 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

There are some who respond to threads such as these with knee-jerk reactions that just highlight their own insecuritys. (Since when has someone being upfront about what they seek been a red flag? Or is honesty a red flag to some?)

The one thing most here will probably be able to agree on is that lables mearly get you in the rough proximity of the ball park and make it a little easier to get to relevant specifics in discussion about exacly what that person means by the lable.

My Own perspective of the biggest difference in practice.... A slave will look at the compatability and if it is there they buy in to the entire package.... a submissive will look to cherry pick which bits fall inside the dynamic and which outside. In short, I Own ALL of a slave, I only control bits of a submissive.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 14

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/26/2008 5:21:17 AM

shahla00

Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline

Thanks to the people who took this a serious post.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 15

RE: Sub Vs Slave - 4/26/2008 7:04:46 AM

ThumpHer

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/3/2006
Status: offline

Short and sweet and my own personal opinion.

A submissive is a person who still retains many levels of control

As a slave I still had control over certain things that we had established in our contract upon collaring, but otherwise I had none. A slave is exactly that, they do the bidding of their Master, whatever that may be.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 16

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