Sub Vs Slave

Sub Vs Slave (Full Version)

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shahla00 -> Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 5:50:46 PM)
I am new to the lifestyle and am trying to learn the diffrances between the a Sub vs Slave... I have had several DOMs on here ask me why I wont be a slave.. I think it is because I don't understand the diffrance.. This may seem like a stupid question but I am wanting to learn from the people who have lived the life a while vs reading it on the web.... Thank You,

JohnWarren -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 5:54:35 PM)
Not a stupid question, but it will produce a number of stupid answers. As long as we don't have a State Committee for the Purity of Kink Terms which has police powers, people are pretty free to make up whatever definitions they want. This is a perfect example of the danger of relying on terms and not asking "what do YOU mean by that. Sentences are better than words; paragraphs are better than sentences.

softness -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 6:22:09 PM)
that time of the week again huh? the difference is what you say it is .... the search function is your friend... the Twue handbook is available in the shop for $49.95 ...

ResidentSadist -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 6:54:06 PM)
A submissive takes the subordinate position in a D/s relationship. They do not have to surrender all control. A slave, contrary to common belief, does not have to be a submissive. However, they have to surrender all control in a TPE. isnt this the the same as the other thread?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 7:03:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shahla00 I am new to the lifestyle and am trying to learn the diffrances between the a Sub vs Slave... I have had several DOMs on here ask me why I wont be a slave.. I think it is because I don't understand the diffrance.. This may seem like a stupid question but I am wanting to learn from the people who have lived the life a while vs reading it on the web.... In case you didn't know, they are mainly asking you about being a slave so they can impose their ridiculous ideas of what a "slave" is and does so they can get you to do what they want. As for what the difference is, take your pick. http://www.collarchat.com/m_586226/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#586267 Curious, sub v slave? http://www.collarchat.com/m_515303/mpage_1/key_slave/tm.htm#515333 What is the difference? http://www.collarchat.com/m_308296/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#309867 sub or slave? http://www.collarchat.com/m_342405/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#342794 ~slave vs sub~ http://www.collarchat.com/m_410567/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#410982 slave or sub http://www.collarchat.com/m_497775/mpage_1/key_submissive%252Cslave/tm.htm#497977 I'm new to this but... http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893 Difference bet/submission and slave? http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767 slub question http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512 difference between slave and submissive http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062 definition of "slave" What's the difference between slaves and submissives? Submissive or slave? Slaves versus submissive Submissive or slave? (2) Submissive vs slave (2)

DesFIP -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 7:46:24 PM)
If first thing off the bat a dom decides you should be a slave, then that's a red flag. Run don't walk. What they're looking for is a girl he can pass around to his buddies and leave black eyes on when she refuses to bring her teenaged sister by for him to fuck. When people talk about TPE it isn't something you do before you meet even. It requires tons of trust, a lot of time spent learning about the dom in question and deciding if he's smart enough to handle this much power. It means that if he decides you ought to lick some other girl's pussy even though it makes you nauseous that he knows you well enough to know that this won't cause you lasting problems. And that he's willing to deal with the nightmares and crying jags that might happen for months afterwards. You really think some guy you've never met will do that?

phoenixinchains -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 10:41:35 PM)
sub is to Dom/me what slave is to Master/Mistress

AquaticSub -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 11:15:26 PM)
~Fast Reply~ There is no set difference. There are people who would fit even the strictest definations of slave, yet do not consider themselves slaves, nor do their owners consider them slaves, for personal reasons. Ask them what they mean by slave - just like you can't impose what being a girlfriend means to your friends, no one else can impose what being a submissive or slave is on you. Unless they happen to own you. [;)]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 11:31:47 PM)
I see these types of threads get ruined by silly responses here on collar me. I worry about the poor newcomers really believing that there are no definitions or conflicting roles and terms. Then the newcomer ends up posting a few months later because they got involved with some nut job… all because someone just didn’t want to tell the truth. …like the post from the sub who’s Master makes her Dom him, or the girl who’s Dom is into infantism and has sibling rivalry with her kid. The truth is there is a difference between sub and slave and in any public organization, any munch, public play party, dungeon or other real live BDSM event on this planet, you know what stereotype to expect if they are a bottom, a sub or a slave. It is 3 distinct sets of rules and protocols. Look to the encyclopedia if you have to. Hell, even wikipedia has a better grip and feel for the roles in BDSM relationships than the strange responses you will find here on the CM forums sometimes.

Leatherist -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 11:34:25 PM)
Pretty much, yes. People just get burned out on spoon feeding-when the search function is so easy to use.

chaosforge -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/25/2008 11:47:20 PM)
Perhaps folks could give a short run down of their relationship and the dynamic therein. Maybe? Come on y'all, a chance to gush on your sweetie...

IronBear -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/26/2008 3:08:56 AM)
My definition, and I repeat this my personal definition and the one I follow (Others have different ideas which I respect as long as they don't attempt to apply them to me and mine). A submissive who is not identified as a slave by me, is one who may be part time (has a family or other life outside the Kink dynamic npot involving her Dominant) and usually has a list of things which she will and will not do when in sub mode with her Dominant. It is a limited dynamic which I may agree to when looking for casual play partners in BDSM. A slave is a submissive who is collared to Bruin Cottage (or any Master/Mistress in a strict D/s dynamic and may or may not include sex and/or BDSM) as a slave. By the time the collar is in place, we will undersrtand each other enough not to need a list of hard limits for I will probably have made most of them mine if they are not already. Her servitude may or may not include sexual practices and/or BDSM as her primarey duty is a "service slave" in the home. Her goal will be to be found pleasing by both myself and my wife and to conplete the daily, weekly and mo nthly duties assigned to her. If lkater on I also take said slave as a personal servant, she will also hagve various personal services I may require. Such a slave is TPE preferably 24/7 and thus probably has no family and certainly no kids tagging allong. (I run a child free home unless you count one male teanager ~ 2 YO Male Malamute. I simply will never allow my personal freedoms to be inhibited by children, and certainly not in my home) Iron Bear Master of Bruin Cottage (A Victorian Lifestyle poly home) "I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester) .

petpete -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/26/2008 3:46:13 AM)
shalalalalalalalala, the slave uses conventional methods to travel the sub uses the subway..

RavenMuse -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/26/2008 4:46:35 AM)
There are some who respond to threads such as these with knee-jerk reactions that just highlight their own insecuritys. (Since when has someone being upfront about what they seek been a red flag? Or is honesty a red flag to some?) The one thing most here will probably be able to agree on is that lables mearly get you in the rough proximity of the ball park and make it a little easier to get to relevant specifics in discussion about exacly what that person means by the lable. My Own perspective of the biggest difference in practice.... A slave will look at the compatability and if it is there they buy in to the entire package.... a submissive will look to cherry pick which bits fall inside the dynamic and which outside. In short, I Own ALL of a slave, I only control bits of a submissive.

shahla00 -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/26/2008 5:21:17 AM)
Thanks to the people who took this a serious post.

ThumpHer -> RE: Sub Vs Slave (4/26/2008 7:04:46 AM)
Short and sweet and my own personal opinion. A submissive is a person who still retains many levels of control As a slave I still had control over certain things that we had established in our contract upon collaring, but otherwise I had none. A slave is exactly that, they do the bidding of their Master, whatever that may be.

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