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RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:33:42 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I am after peoples opinions on discovery and life.  Sheesh - you don't want much do you dark!
 
The question is do you live life before you make the discovery of what you are - ie dominant, gay  ...

the.dark.


I found I was turned on by bondage somewhere before age 11. But I didn't see d/s as a path in life at that age and I just got on with things like all the other kids.
 
There was a thread recently on "what is your bdsm morning" and most ppl said they got up, got dressed, made the breakfast, sorted the school run etc etc. Very few said they knelt for a whipping. And life's like that for most ppl; it's the non-d/s stuff which takes priority - and it certainly has for me. And it's only recently I've begun to ponder whether one should seek a more significant d/s content.

Mind you a shitty failed vanilla marriage didn't help, maintained and tolerated for years for the sake of the kids. So d/s for me has been only occasional play, not a firm relationship, and wasn't a key priority in the pursuit of happiness; in my case my mistress was my business and took my whole focus.
 
You and Darcy are therefore - in my eyes - extraordinarily lucky (though whether you'd say lucky or following a path is something only you know).
 
Now, however, I begin to ponder and wonder whether a single d/s relationship would be, should be, a path to follow; I enjoy "play" fairly often with a number of different good d/s friends - which is great fun but nonetheless fundamentally lonely. And the bugger is that this life is not a rehearsal - you only get to do it once.
 
I can't say that not following a d/s path in life has left me disappointed - for all its problems, cock-ups and loneliness life for me is remarkably happy  . I feel I've achieved a great deal, through planning and effort and I suppose through following a sort of path, but whether I'd be happier if that path had included seeking a d/s partner instead of casual d/s play is an unknown. And I find one of my favourite "life philosophy" things pretty comforting, even though it doesn't actually contain any reference to d/s! 
 
So should you move on without knowing your path? Probably; at least seek some sort of progress.
 
Is it possible to relate to another without knowing where you're going? Probably. And unless you can, like me, handle being solitary, someone else with whom to share problems can be a powerful advantage. 
 
Does searching achieve anything? Probably. As long as you don't get pissed if you don't find what you think you want!
 
For me I think I've seen a direction more than a path, and I've followed it with successes and failures and ended up pretty content. But maybe lonely! So grab Darcy and give him a hug.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:34:56 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Lady H
 
Thank you for responding.  I am really finding myself zooming in on your posts and learning so much from them.  It rocks when that happens with a poster - its like finding a classic book you never want to lose and what to go over and over again.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:40:20 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Ones path of life is not determined by looking outward and seeing it... it is determined by each step a person takes.  Look behind... and you see your path... look ahead and you see a world of possibilities.  The important things.... is to Take the Best step you can take in the given moment!


Thank you responding KoM.  I love the way you put that so wonderfully.  Particularly the part of the path behind - I have not heard it put like that before but it makes such sense to me.
 
...And this time I am sending my love to You and Yours so no need for pouty lips (and begging forgiveness if that was too cheeky!)
 
With deepest respects
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:42:33 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Beautiful OG -
Thank you for giving me cause for thought(as always)!
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:47:01 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
And, there's an assumption in your post, Dark: the assumption that we have a path. Perhaps there is no path; perhaps we're no more than an evolving bundle of perceptions and ideas.


Hello NG
 
Gosh, I feel all honoured you responded !  I picked out this part of your response because it stuck out for me.  I absolutely agree - there may be no path - the perceptions and ideas is a huge possibility.  I haven't really 'decided' that for myself yet.  Like KoM stated and I think I get is - the path we make is behind us - which makes more sense to me.  Maybe a path ahead is one that those of a specific spiritual belief may focus on?  Don't know - but it's made me think hey - thank you.
 
Love and Respects
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 4/20/2008 9:58:00 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:51:10 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Moi? Want much?  Never!
Sun, my dear friend - your post made me smile and touched me inside for some reason.  How cool is that?
 
the.dark.

(And Darcy thinks he deserves more than a hug... but it's a great start...)

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 9:56:23 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

What is life, if it cannot be tasted.


My dearest, sweetest A - I don't believe you can't taste life - but the many things within it have different flavours.
Life is the menu. Everything around is the hors d'oerve, the main course and the pudding.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 4/20/2008 9:57:00 AM >

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 10:00:20 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Lady J
You brought a really different perspective and made me go - hmmmm.... particularly on the searching point - thank you.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 12:43:24 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Beautiful OG -
Thank you for giving me cause for thought(as always)!
 
the.dark.


Hi the.dark.,

Thank you for such a nice reply.  I want to add something, as I see a lot of people asking how one can NOT live.  I spent almost 20 years not living.  Yes, you can exist, but that is not living.  NOT living means never making decisions, never taking risks, always waiting for something to come around the corner that will give you reason to move forward, planning to death but never doing.  NOT living means not experiencing life.  Staying stagnant.  Years go by and you have accomplished nothing and by that I'm not talking about enhancing your bank account or having a bigger house.  I mean you have not come any closer to fulfillment...love...happiness...

You've always wanted that garden but never quite decided on what to plant.  You've always wanted offspring but never felt "ready."  You've always wanted a pet but never decided on a breed.  You've always wanted to travel but never figured out where to go first.   And so it goes.  I lived with a husband like that.  We spent all day putting spreadsheets together of everything we wanted to do...but we never did it.

That's how one goes about NOT living while existing.  Are you loving?  Laughing?  Crying?  Feeling??  Or are you waiting?

I gotta tell you, it sure is nice to be living now.  I recommend it!! 

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 1:30:45 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		ok so feel free to tell the young'un to shut up and sit quietly in the corner with her colours but here is my two cents (or 2p in real money)

I have packed more into my 24 years on earth than most people pack into a lifetime. I have a home, a career and a world of experience and memories that I created for myself and which have enriched me beyond anything a girl could hope for. I have stood on my own two feet and loved it, and been owned and loved that. I have had long term girlfriends and short term Dominants. I have set up a charity, graduated university with honours, and built a clinic in Africa. I have competed in National competitions and won, and made my own curtains badly. Today I cooked a roast dinner and got the potatos perfectly crisp on the outside and fluffy inside for the first time ever. I am absolutely living my life to the fullest I could wish to. I said I would never say no to something through fear or laziness when I was 12 .. and I stick to that.

Even at my tender age, and I by no means pretend to know everything  - I just know what I know, I have seen that my true life happiness will be enriched and fufilled from within a Ds relationship. It will not be soley that relationship that creates a full happy and well lived life, but WITHOUT it I will know something in side me is unexplored and unfulfilled.

When I was 20 I KNEW I wanted to ride a motorcycle, I wanted to drive too fast along a beach and scream at the top of my lungs. So, on a long empty beach in India, I got a motor, learned to ride it, and raced up the beach in a bikini and sunglasses whooping at the top of my lungs. A few hours was enough to sate me. I have done that now, I have that memory cherished and joyful forever in my heart. At the age of 24 I KNOW I want to be owned property of a man and serve him with my heart body and mind. I might be sated in 5 months, 5 years, or I may want it until the end of my days.

It is a part of my life I want to live just as much as the racing along a beach was 4 years ago - and many will argue just as unsafe, just as inadvisable, and just as unpredicatble and stupid. But nothing compares to that memory so it was worth the risk, every second was worth the risk.


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 1:50:04 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

ok so feel free to tell the young'un to shut up and sit quietly in the corner with her colours but here is my two cents (or 2p in real money)

Found it quite enjoyable myself.  You sound like the kind of gal I tend to be most attracted to.  There's something about the adventerous spirit... someone so full of life... very attractive to me.  Seems harder and harder to find these days though, more's the pity.  Would ya pass the crayons?

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 1:56:40 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		It often takes longer to discover what you need in life than it does to get it once you know what it is.  I would say you should never abandon the search but don’t starve waiting for the perfect understanding.  Go with your best shot when you are ready.  
 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 2:36:11 PM   
Vjklander


Posts: 41
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline 		If you have an hour or so and are really interested in comtemplating 'living life' seriously, watch this video.
Vjk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 2:43:52 PM   
Vjklander


Posts: 41
Joined: 3/28/2004
Status: offline 		The tagline I have had on my email for many years is " I refuse to tiptoe through life, just to arrive safely at death."

(If anyone knows who the attribution should go to, please let me know)

(in reply to Vjklander)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 3:23:05 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
(and begging forgiveness if that was too cheeky!)
 

 
It's a good thing I am a forgiving man  :)
 
Thank you for a lovely thread..

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 3:33:52 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

ok so feel free to tell the young'un to shut up and sit quietly in the corner with her colours but here is my two cents (or 2p in real money)

Found it quite enjoyable myself.  You sound like the kind of gal I tend to be most attracted to.  There's something about the adventerous spirit... someone so full of life... very attractive to me.  Seems harder and harder to find these days though, more's the pity.  Would ya pass the crayons?


*passes the crayons* ,,, be sure to stay in the lines!


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 3:48:10 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		LOL... a flirt with ya a wee bit an you're already telling me what to do... people will start thinking we're married!

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 4:00:24 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I am after peoples opinions on discovery and life.
 
The question is do you live life before you make the discovery of what you are - ie dominant, gay, poly, submissive, gorean, pet, baby, mistress etc(insertlabelhere) before you get on with your life and move forward on it?
 
Should you move on with life, without knowing your path, position or orientation?
 
Do you believe it is possible to have a sexual or intimate relationship with another person when you do not understand where your life is, or may be going - or should you live your life without expectations and go with the flow?
 
Does 'searching' achieve anything positive?
 
the.dark.

Yes I have lived, am living and will live my life discovering who I am.....maybe that's because who I discover I am is predominantly in the hands of a Master.
That's HOW I discoever who i am.
That's what's so difficult about being a submiccive type.
That insight hit me hard a gew days ago.
I don't know how to push the envelope of who I am until I am with someone who is strong enough, sure enough, certain enough, masterful enough to push my limits.
When I have gone beyond those limits I experience it as something missing rather than a knowing what to do or where to go.
The something missing is that pivotal point when I lose the feeling of being mastered. I suppose it's the feeling of losing respect. And then I want more even though  I don't know what the more is until I am in the process of finding it.



< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/20/2008 4:02:03 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 4:29:26 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

ok so feel free to tell the young'un to shut up and sit quietly in the corner with her colours but here is my two cents (or 2p in real money)

I have packed more into my 24 years on earth than most people pack into a lifetime. I have a home, a career and a world of experience and memories that I created for myself and which have enriched me beyond anything a girl could hope for. I have stood on my own two feet and loved it, and been owned and loved that. I have had long term girlfriends and short term Dominants. I have set up a charity, graduated university with honours, and built a clinic in Africa. I have competed in National competitions and won, and made my own curtains badly. Today I cooked a roast dinner and got the potatos perfectly crisp on the outside and fluffy inside for the first time ever. I am absolutely living my life to the fullest I could wish to. I said I would never say no to something through fear or laziness when I was 12 .. and I stick to that.

Even at my tender age, and I by no means pretend to know everything  - I just know what I know, I have seen that my true life happiness will be enriched and fufilled from within a Ds relationship. It will not be soley that relationship that creates a full happy and well lived life, but WITHOUT it I will know something in side me is unexplored and unfulfilled.

When I was 20 I KNEW I wanted to ride a motorcycle, I wanted to drive too fast along a beach and scream at the top of my lungs. So, on a long empty beach in India, I got a motor, learned to ride it, and raced up the beach in a bikini and sunglasses whooping at the top of my lungs. A few hours was enough to sate me. I have done that now, I have that memory cherished and joyful forever in my heart. At the age of 24 I KNOW I want to be owned property of a man and serve him with my heart body and mind. I might be sated in 5 months, 5 years, or I may want it until the end of my days.

It is a part of my life I want to live just as much as the racing along a beach was 4 years ago - and many will argue just as unsafe, just as inadvisable, and just as unpredicatble and stupid. But nothing compares to that memory so it was worth the risk, every second was worth the risk.



Softness
wonderful post..it made me smile inside and out.
 
Cyndi

_____________________________

galilah

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Living Life - 4/20/2008 4:52:54 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah
Softness
wonderful post..it made me smile inside and out.
 
Cyndi


Me too!  I loved it!

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to TysGalilah)
Profile   Post #: 40
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