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Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 4:25:58 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I'm new here and pretty new to the lifestyle also, so please excuse me if I sound totally ignorant or am posting this in the wrong place. I am going through the collaring process right now and I was given a task to research Life Collars: what they mean, ceremonies, etc, and I am having a terrible time finding solid information. I understand the very basics of it, and I mean the bare minimum, but I really want to accomplish this task well so does any one have any information you could share? Or a link or a site you could refer me to? I would really appericate your help. Thank you!

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RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 4:52:45 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Dear liz,

Your question is multifold, so a little clarification would be helpful.  Are you asking what happens during a collaring ceremony?  (There are so many ways people get collared, from very simply to very elaborately - like weddings.)  As to your question about Life Collars, I'm not sure what you mean.  Is this a collar that doesn't come off, and is therefore worn for a lifetime?

A little help from you may help us help you.
~ DRH

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 4:55:11 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I've never heard of a "Life Collar" so will assume you mean what i would call a collar.  Castlerealm had some ceremonies.  Castlerealm has been closed but much of the website was archived.  If you use the search function here to search for threads on Castlerealm, you'll find links to the archives. 

Most people write their own ceremony for a collaring.  A ceremony you both write is so much more personal and meaningful than using words someone else has written. 

(in reply to lizcgirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 4:59:12 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		I agree.  Castlerealm was a nice read when I was helping Daddy plan our collaring. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 5:03:59 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. We discussed collars, the different "levels" so to speak, and he mentioned a "Life Collar". He said it was basically a Slave collar, but one that was only released if one of the people involved died. (What marriage used to mean)  He told me to research it, to learn as much as possible about the degree of commitment as well as ceremonies, the only assistance he would give was to keep in mind he's very old-fashioned. So I'm not really sure what to search for... when I searched Life Collars, I went through pages and all I found were training, consideration, and ownership collars. That's why I'm confused but he explained the task as fully as he was willing to so I'm on my own now.  

_____________________________

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RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 5:09:42 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizcgirl
I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. We discussed collars, the different "levels" so to speak, and he mentioned a "Life Collar". He said it was basically a Slave collar, but one that was only released if one of the people involved died. (What marriage used to mean)  He told me to research it, to learn as much as possible about the degree of commitment as well as ceremonies, the only assistance he would give was to keep in mind he's very old-fashioned. So I'm not really sure what to search for... when I searched Life Collars, I went through pages and all I found were training, consideration, and ownership collars. That's why I'm confused but he explained the task as fully as he was willing to so I'm on my own now.  

I have to say in my decade of experience, I've never heard anything referred to specifically as a "life collar."

Collars are whatever you want them to be.  Many people use them to mean what your master is saying- a permanent symbol of a permanent authority transfer relationship, but they just call it a "collar."

There are lots of great discussions on what collars meanand are used for- but I don't think you'll find any "life collar" references because it's just a random invented term that hasn't been taken up by either the cyber or offline culture.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1004904/mpage_1/key_collared%252Cowned/tm.htm#1004914
owned vs collared

http://www.collarchat.com/m_972728/mpage_1/key_collared/tm.htm#973007
collared vs owned

http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670
The Coveted and Legendary Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475
The meaning of a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797
Please share with me (what being collared means to you)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019
public collar

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702
collars (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140
Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345
collar before love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135
What does a collar mean?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240
collar or what else?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337
Collar conundrum?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368
Kind of a collar question?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?


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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to lizcgirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 5:10:46 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Hmmm... liz there are many types of collars.  Some are as simple as a necklace with a special pendant on it, that means something for the couple, and some are very intricate.  Perhaps he means something like an eternity collar.

http://eternitycollars.com/shop/index.php?cPath=18&osCsid=c04abcfe085762b6bc3d8e8c77a736e0

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to lizcgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 5:29:10 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I've got to admit, it's frustrating me. As far as styles of collars go, that's been covered. At the moment I have a silver chain necklace with a heart on it to serve as my consideration collar because having never been in a D/s relationship I didn't know what to expect from collar styles. But my next one is traditional black leather and now that I've had this one for a while I can't wait for the next one. I'm just not pulling this task off very well. lol. When he gets home I'll have to ask for more clarification or I will surfing the web for days and get nowhere. Thank you so much for your help and your insight, I appericate it so much.

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Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.


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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 5:36:32 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I've also never heard of a Life Collar.

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 5:59:07 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		I have never heard of a life collar, I have heard of a permanent collar that is what I have.

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Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 6:52:48 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5175
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Liz...the problem with your question is that everyone has his or her own answer to it.  You see...there is no meaning for a collar that everyone agrees upon. 

The very first place i ever saw a mention of more than one degree of collar was on Mistress Steel's website.  She had a training collar....always blue (a time to see if you both might want to try more together) , a collar of consideration, always black ( if i remember right and like an engagement), and a permanent collar which was also black but could have decorations on it (and equivalent to marriage). 

Personally, i believe one is collared or one is not collared.  There are no inbetween collars, training collars, velcro collars or consideration collars. 

I would suggest you do your research and present all points of view to your Dom.  Let the two of you then decide what a collar means to you both rather than rely on someone else's ideas. 

(in reply to lizcgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 6:53:53 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

There are no inbetween collars, training collars, velcro collars or consideration collars. 





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RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 7:08:53 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline 		Ummmm. Seriously, look up some of the links LA provided you.
Otherwise.... new to the lifestyle, never been in a D/s relationship and you're talking "life" collars already? Scary.

Is he actually referring to "lifestyle" collars? Whole different ballgame there - lots of options - especially as the two of you are talking "traditional" leather next up.

But maybe you want to end up wearing the welded-on permanent "for life" steel collar that will mean you'll never be able to fly on a plane again - or have an MRI - or, or, or .... (which definitely works for some, but I doubt that most took that route in any kind of speedy manner).

Keep your eyes wide open and go slowly.

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Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 7:19:00 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		Try asking in the gorean forum. I'll bet there are some kajira over there who are experts because they've had 3 or more "life" collars.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 7:28:16 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I appericate the feedback, and the warnings. This isn't a task because we are discussing it as far as considering it, just a homework assignment if you will for me to learn more, that's it. I like to learn as much as possible about whatever interests me and he knows that so he gave me something to research. As far as the 'levels' of collars, he's only doing it because I AM new to the lifestyle and he wants me to be comfortable and move at a pace I can handle. I wasn't asking necessarily for personal opinions to influence myself, just for information so I could be more informed. I'm sorry if I misrepresented it, that wasn't my intention, I just didn't know where to look so I thought I would ask people with more experience than myself. But thank you all for the information you did give me, I read the links provided and while they were informative, it wasn't the information I was looking for. It would help if I knew what information I WAS looking for.... lol.

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Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 9:34:46 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

Try asking in the gorean forum. I'll bet there are some kajira over there who are experts because they've had 3 or more "life" collars.

That was fucking funny.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/13/2008 9:55:35 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		All of a sudden, I feel really, really old.

If I'm understanding the OP correctly, what you are asking about are the different levels of collars that some have used in practice.  The color of a sub's collar can specifically mean different levels of a relationship.  Very much like different types of rings are used by our vanilla counterparts to show different stages of commitment.  (If anyone has ever noticed, My sub's collar is red.)

Since this was a task that was given to you by your Dominant, I will not do your research for you.  However, I will direct you to a site called Domsubfriends.  You can find answers there for what your Master might want you to read.

(Who would have ever thought I would be giving advice about how to find things on the net?)

Best of luck to you.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/14/2008 12:47:23 AM   
LadybugBlue


Posts: 56
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

Try asking in the gorean forum. I'll bet there are some kajira over there who are experts because they've had 3 or more "life" collars.


you're too funny!! 

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/14/2008 1:57:44 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The only term I've heard close to a life collar is actually the term I used to use when I had my own hierarchal system of collars. It was called a lifetime collar and basically, it means that, even if the collared relationship ends, the connection doesn't ever completely fade. It means that even five years after the collar comes off, if one of us had a need, we contact the other and they do what they can to aid. It's a lifetime commitment.

But, you have to realized, if you haven't already, that there aren't any hard and fast rules and many things are labeled by different words by different people. To me, the assignment shows that you're Dom doesn't know any more about what info is out there than you do. Of course, this might be exactly why you've been given the assignment!

If you can't find information, write about what you expected to find and say you were suprised or frustrated that you didn't...then make up your own meaning and suggest that meaning to your Dom.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to lizcgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Life collar questions? - 4/14/2008 7:26:19 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizcgirl

He said it was basically a Slave collar, but one that was only released if one of the people involved died. (What marriage used to mean)  
  This bothers me. Basically, if you're miserable, you're stuck for life unless one of you dies or he decides to release you. Too bad.

We get into this life because it makes us happy. If you're unhappy, you always have the right to get out of the situation.

In 15 years, I've never heard of "Life Collar". Personally, I've ever held much stock in the levels of collars. I view my collar as a commitment as serious as marriage.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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