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People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:12:37 PM

LadyPact

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No, I'm not making this particular claim, though I've seen it posted as an opinion time and time again. Many do assume it to be fact. Since there is no way to prove or disprove the theory, I'll just go with the bit that the subject has come up in more than one venue, so there are some people who obviously believe it.

The question is, if we believe this to be true, that people involved in BDSM are of generally higher intelligence, why do we feel the need to act as though folks new to the lifestyle are twits? It isn't the intelligence level that changes over the course of time, rather a person's experience level. While people may become more educated in certain areas as they gain experience, their basic level of intelligence doesn't change.

I'm not talking about skill, experience, or any other attribute that comes with time with wiitwd. I'm wondering why it is that, at times, new people are subjected to others thinking they have little in the areas of street smarts, or common sense

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Post #: 1

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:15:42 PM

hejira92

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1) Sub frenzy causes many to lose their "street smarts" and common sense.

2) People in the lifestyle in general are not of higher intelligence- it is only those who post regularly on cm

.

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Post #: 2

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:20:36 PM

Madame4a

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From: Washington, DC area
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I subscribe to the idea that people involved in leather have at least a bit of a higher sexual intelligence... although not always.. and its the assumption I make that inevitably gets me into trouble.

As a general rule though.. I think there is certainly some difference.. not sure if its higher intelligence...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 3

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:24:03 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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People ignore the obvious as much as possible to hold tight to their superiority. How many times do I STILL hear people say "All subs are strong" when I think it's pretty obviously proven almost weekly here just how stupid and weak a heck of a lot of subs are?

It's also a function of the internet- in order to converse on a regular ongoing level online you generally need a certain level of intellectual ability for that discourse. As well, only people with leisure time and money have regular access to the internet and people with leisure time and money tend to be more intelligent or at least financially successful enough to fake it.

In the end though, any reasonable person knows that kinky people are no more or less inclined towards any class or ability than anyone else.

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Post #: 4

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:27:43 PM

Stephann

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From: Portland, OR
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People used to the lifestyle hear new people ask the same questions over and over. Anytime we ask a question, we'll find people answering who feel smug in the ability to demonstrate I Know More Than You Do, So I'm Better Than You.

Stephan
Coiner of IKMTYDSIBTY

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Post #: 5

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:27:53 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
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There is academic type intelligence, street smarts, emotional intelligence, etc.

Just because someone is intelligent doesn't mean they possess common sense. People can possess common sense but still not be in control of their emotions. And if a person is very horny (or impassioned with subliness or domliness) and trying to satisfy that need, he/she isn't likely to come across brilliant even if he/she is a genius.

Anyway, it's internet tradition to pick on newbies. It's like initiation or something, near as I can tell.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:31:26 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

No, I'm not making this particular claim, though I've seen it posted as an opinion time and time again. Many do assume it to be fact. Since there is no way to prove or disprove the theory, I'll just go with the bit that the subject has come up in more than one venue, so there are some people who obviously believe it.

The question is, if we believe this to be true, that people involved in BDSM are of generally higher intelligence, why do we feel the need to act as though folks new to the lifestyle are twits? It isn't the intelligence level that changes over the course of time, rather a person's experience level. While people may become more educated in certain areas as they gain experience, their basic level of intelligence doesn't change.

I'm not talking about skill, experience, or any other attribute that comes with time with wiitwd. I'm wondering why it is that, at times, new people are subjected to others thinking they have little in the areas of street smarts, or common sense

I think it comes across as a pecking order more times than not. What I mean by that is that there's a sort of snobbery about how many years experience in the lifestyle one has, and there's very definitely a great deal of what sociologists would call labelling. We label each other; dom, sub, switch, bi, etc and we label ourselves, not only by name but by code of dress and so forth.
What strikes me as most apparent is that it is far easier to prove one's rank as a Dominant than it is to prove one's rank as a submissive. I mean how do I (even if I was interested in doing so) how do I prove my expertise in submission? By how much I can take, by the size of his fist, by how much I can suffer, the depth of my scars? by the level of pain I can consume or by my absence of limits?
I don;t want answers by the way: these are rhetorical questions.
OK I admit it; I do consider myself to be above average in intelliegence: all the cognitive, verbal reasoning, IQ, EI and SI tests etc seem to support this.
But when I submit boy oh boy my brains go.....they're just gone. That's why I submit I suppose as it's a vacation from being in charge most of the time knowledge wise.
Look anybody whose ever read any of my posts simply knows how stoooopid derrrrr i am when I am in slave mode. No offense meant to anyone else who is a slave by the way.
No: an arse is just an arse and a hole is just a hole so to speak.........
ed to add:
PS it's a type of fazing, ie disrupting the composure of newbies which has become sort of tradition on the internet. Shame: but oh well it's only an internet forum.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/8/2008 4:39:49 PM >

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Post #: 7

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:34:47 PM

ResidentSadist

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Online, here at collarme, I would say your observations are astute. However, in person at community events I feel the reverse. I find people sharing techniques, tricks and tips in the good spirit of non competitive comradery. I think the Online Dom syndrom* and judgemental tourists trying to find the "right" and "true" way have a negative influence on the mood of any online comunity.

*6 pack of beer, a computer, wife at the mall, kids at school and POOF... another online Dom is born.

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Post #: 8

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:37:14 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

People used to the lifestyle hear new people ask the same questions over and over. Anytime we ask a question, we'll find people answering who feel smug in the ability to demonstrate I Know More Than You Do, So I'm Better Than You.

Stephan
Coiner of IKMTYDSIBTY

I agree. There's also a IASTYWMYFMP

Prinsexx coiner of I am stoopider than you which makes you feel more powerful.

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Post #: 9

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:39:00 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

*6 pack of beer, a computer, wife at the mall, kids at school and POOF... another online Dom is born.

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

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Post #: 10

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 4:51:41 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

i figure intelligence is moot, but that there is a higher amount of understanding and awareness due to people often trying to make sense of what they feel and figure out where they believe they fit in.

but no sooner would i voice myself on such optimistic beliefs, i run into a myriad of people whose product from "soul searching" ended up as being "oh yeah, telling some dumb slutty bitch what to do sounds fun" or "oh baby, i'd love to be treated like meat and have someone do this, this, this, this, and that whenever i'm in the mood".

i mean really, how can i try to argue about self awareness when the extent of vast amounts of people's understanding is often "well i did some serious soul searching, and i discovered... i like sex". and how could i attempt to insinuate that trying to be aware of oneself will always lead that person to find that they're either submissive or dominant even? self awareness would just as likely if not moreso lead them to find they want no part of this. and who are we to say it's because they are in denial, lack understanding, or that they are unintelligent for not being a part of what we are? that certainly wouldn't make "us" very intelligent.

the problem in so many theories is we're looking at demographics within demographics. the people online are different from people in person. people on the forums are different from people in chatrooms.

these venues attract different types of audiences, but does little to discern or ascertain what the whole is.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 5:04:57 PM

ProfJoe

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Joined: 6/7/2007
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Ummm, not sure what "smarter" means .... but:

I'm thinking of they myriad posts here & abouts re: the lobotomized PMs sub women get from self-proclaimed experienced dominants. And the myriad posts here and abouts from submissives who have apparently lost every shred of sense on their way into an unbelievable mess.

I think you can say that MOST people in BDSM enjoy kinky sex. Other than that, I'd be suspicious of unsupported generalizations.

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 12

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:11:22 PM

Missokyst

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Joined: 9/9/2006
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BDSM practioners are no more brilliant than newbies, or nillas. I have met my share of people I wouldn't trust to know what one teaspoon of sugar is for my coffee. Intelligence has nothing to do with kink. What people do notice is that people may seem to be more intelligent when putting up or responding to posts. You know why? We who post are not afraid of posting. We as a rule don't worry if we will be understood. We are generally literate and are comfortable writing. So I would say that it isn't bdsm'rs that are intelligent. It is that people who aren't worried about their intelligence post more often.
However.. that has little to do with common sense. There is a tendency for people new to shun common sense in the rush to find passion.
Kyst

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 4/8/2008 6:14:16 PM >

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RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:13:45 PM

SimplyMichael

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Look at the questions we get on the board all day long. THAT is why some of us think that there are those among us, some new, some not, who ARE twits.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 14

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:18:18 PM

MzMia

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Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProfJoe

Ummm, not sure what "smarter" means .... but:

I'm thinking of they myriad posts here & abouts re: the lobotomized PMs sub women get from self-proclaimed experienced dominants. And the myriad posts here and abouts from submissives who have apparently lost every shred of sense on their way into an unbelievable mess.

I think you can say that MOST people in BDSM enjoy kinky sex. Other than that, I'd be suspicious of unsupported generalizations.

I have to agree with Professor Joe on this one.
I think most people into BDSM activities are kinky, being kinky hardly
makes you more intelligent than vanilla people.

I would also go so far as to say, people in certain professions, especially high
level, etc. keep most of their kink private for obvious reasons.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 4/8/2008 6:19:13 PM >

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RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:23:00 PM

junecleaver

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Because so many of us just don't have common sense or street smarts? The ratio is probably similar amongst 'vanillas' too. Not to mention...common sense and street smarts are something that come naturally to some....but others have to get some experience before it clicks.

I try not to make judgments before I have enough information about people---intelligence or otherwise. But something I have seen lacking in the scene is emotional intelligence. People want to believe that BDSM is all special and uncommon and therefore does not require ordinary stuff like common sense and communication.

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RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:23:59 PM

lusciouslips19

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I had a Dom at a club tell me that the incidence of Bipolar and personality disorder are more prevalent in the BDSM community. I would want to see where he got his facts, how big the control and experimental groups were and what was the statistical variation. plus the tester, what is their agenda? If there is a study are there more than one? How long did it take to compile this data? What I am saying is I would be skeptical of statements like this. Even when you hear, "studies suggest", I think its utter BS.

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RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:27:15 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

BDSM practioners are no more brilliant than newbies, or nillas. I have met my share of people I wouldn't trust to know what one teaspoon of sugar is for my coffee. Intelligence has nothing to do with kink. What people do notice is that people may seem to be more intelligent when putting up or responding to posts. You know why? We who post are not afraid of posting. We as a rule don't worry if we will be understood. We are generally literate and are comfortable writing. So I would say that it isn't bdsm'rs that are intelligent. It is that people who aren't worried about their intelligence post more often.
However.. that has little to do with common sense. There is a tendency for people new to shun common sense in the rush to find passion.
Kyst

I really agree with what you have said above. If I had ever been afraid to post or indeed an introverted type in anyway I would have quit after the first few responses I ever got here.
As for common sense? And as for passion?
Now that's a good basis for a piece of correlational research. There must be a doctorate hidden there somewhere.
ed to add;
wush there was a spell checker though

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/8/2008 6:36:00 PM >

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Post #: 18

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:29:30 PM

Evility

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
2) People in the lifestyle in general are not of higher intelligence - it is only those who post regularly on cm .

Heh, I was thinking the opposite... that there is plenty of evidence in the forums that the topic of this thread is surely a myth.

(in reply to hejira92)

Post #: 19

RE: People in the lifestyle = higher intelligence - 4/8/2008 6:38:21 PM

ExSteelAgain

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Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
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Intelligence is hard to define. It can mean many things such as the ability to reason or to learn quickly from experience. However, with any group that is connected by the internet and has a message board, the posters tend to better thinkers and writers. They can still be fucked up, though, as evidenced by many of us.

As far as the newbie frenzy, smart people can be subject to it, too. It doesn’t hurt for them to read things here. These threads have provided some valuable info and explained misconceptions for many. Thinking about it, the smarter newbie probably tends to read here more.

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