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slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:00:05 AM

slaveintraning

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Would like to know what other think when someone is new (like me), and I call myself a slave, or do I need the time put into it, then call myself a slave? Just wonding what people think

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:00:55 AM

Aileen1968

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Nooooooo

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:10:19 AM

SimplyMichael

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There are three common types of slaves.

People brand new to scene who want to be slaves to prove/believe/dream they are doing the most extreme sort of stuff and led by nitwits. Harmless but irritating. Some never move beyond this stage and simply proclaim louder and louder how much more slavish they are than another. Highly irritating.

People who are so pathetic they don't have much to offer, never had much of an opinion of themselves, insecure, weak, sort of like a dog and it takes as much effort to win one and control one as it does to train a dog to wag its tail. This is the most common form.

Then there is the strong willed and intelligent person who could be anything they chose and often have been. Often, but not always, have been on both sides of the whip and or are seldom submissive to others. These to me are the "real" slaves or at least the only ones I have respect for. These sorts of slaves are made by the unique interaction of an individual dominant with their particular submissive/s. In short, one person's slave is rarely another's.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:17:54 AM

Dnomyar

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Op can you beat up other slaves. Read and learn from what SimplyMichael wrote.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:19:30 AM

OmegaG

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Then there is the strong willed and intelligent person who could be anything they chose and often have been. Often, but not always, have been on both sides of the whip and or are seldom submissive to others. These to me are the "real" slaves or at least the only ones I have respect for. These sorts of slaves are made by the unique interaction of an individual dominant with their particular submissive/s. In short, one person's slave is rarely another's.

I would also think that this type of person does not advertise that they are a slave, nor specifically looks for the M/s dynamic but finds that the relationship has evolved to a point where they have become a slave to the other person

< Message edited by OmegaG -- 3/31/2008 8:22:47 AM >

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:21:09 AM

petitespitfire64

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Wow SimplyMichael...WELL said.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:26:48 AM

slaveintraning

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then how can someone call themself a Mistress, or Master, when fist starting?

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:28:02 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveintraning

Would like to know what other think when someone is new (like me), and I call myself a slave, or do I need the time put into it, then call myself a slave? Just wonding what people think

There is no rulebook that says you must have 5 years time served as a sub before graduating as a slave. you are what you are.

Even 'what is a slave and what is a sub' varies greatly from one person to another. One of the first things I do with any new prospective girl is compair the only two definitions that matter... how she views it and how I view it... if those two are similar then We can look further.

Being new does raise some questions, namely is the girl looking for an M/s situation because she knows what she is.... or has she simply fallen for the fantasy with no real insight as to if she could actualy live the life she is seeking. I don't assume she is one or the other, I look to discuss the issues and find out.

Jumping straight into TPE, M/s is a big leap but it is certainly not unheard of....

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:45:41 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

then how can someone call themself a Mistress, or Master, when fist starting?

as has been stated previously, there is no rule book that lays down what one must have/do/be in order to call themselves Master or slave.

some folks have submissive personalities, some have submissive sexual orientations, some prefer to be submissive in their relationships---one person could have any or all of the three, depending on the individual.

before entering into an M/s relationship with Master the only time this slave referred to herself as a slave, was, in reference to the offspring...because she didn't dominate them...she served them, like a slave.

if we ceased to be Master/slave, this slave would stop referring to herself as a slave, among other things. to this slave, the Master/slave relationship holds the context of the label---this slave would use Dominant or submissive to refer to personality, sexual orientation or preferred relationship orientation, in OR out of a relationship.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 8:46:21 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveintraning

Would like to know what other think when someone is new (like me), and I call myself a slave, or do I need the time put into it, then call myself a slave? Just wonding what people think

When an unowned person tells me they are a slave, I don't immediately expect some sort of proof. My immediate thought is more along the lines of "this is a person who believes they wish to be owned." It's not too different from a teenager saying they want to become a doctor or lawyer: professions that require a great deal of time and training before they can actually practice their vocation. I don't assume just because they haven't learned surgery or passed the bar, that they shouldn't approach their lives as if they were going to be doctors or lawyers. Indeed, the best way to actually finish all the training required, is to act as if they were already going to become such.

I would only say to be wary of using the statement "I am a slave" as a means of defining yourself, if you're not sure that's what you really want. It can greatly help you in finding a dominant partner, but should you become collared and find yourself miserable two months ago, saying "I'm supposed to be happy because I wanted to be a slave" can be dangerous. It's not too dissimilar to someone who spends twelve years learning to become a doctor, only to find that they actually hate practicing medicine. In short, be prepared to determine if you enjoy being a slave, for what it actually is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

There are three common types of slaves.

People brand new to scene who want to be slaves to prove/believe/dream they are doing the most extreme sort of stuff and led by nitwits. Harmless but irritating. Some never move beyond this stage and simply proclaim louder and louder how much more slavish they are than another. Highly irritating.

People who are so pathetic they don't have much to offer, never had much of an opinion of themselves, insecure, weak, sort of like a dog and it takes as much effort to win one and control one as it does to train a dog to wag its tail. This is the most common form.

Then there is the strong willed and intelligent person who could be anything they chose and often have been. Often, but not always, have been on both sides of the whip and or are seldom submissive to others. These to me are the "real" slaves or at least the only ones I have respect for. These sorts of slaves are made by the unique interaction of an individual dominant with their particular submissive/s. In short, one person's slave is rarely another's.

Morning Michael,

I don't think one need have confidence to be a slave. I agree, people who latch onto any concept because they are simply unhappy with their lives can be.... frustrating. Yet there are dysfunctional people in all walks of life, and they have the same right to engage in relationships (healthy or otherwise) as everyone else.

I often picture this angry bitter woman I had to deal with at Wal Mart once some years ago. She was large, unfriendly, and did everything she could to make others around her just as angry as she was. I left the store equally pissed off. Later that night, I thought about what sort of guy would actually want to be with her. I eventually figured ou that whatever had crawled up in her cooze and died, she was still a person with feelings, dreams, goals, and what not. I didn't have to like her, agree with her, or even give her the time of day to realize that she had the same right to be happy (or miserable) if she wishes as I do. If that bloated mass of deadfish carcass wants to be a slave, it doesn't bother or hurt me; but I certainly don't have to be her buddy, or foul my leather with her stink.

Stephan

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Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 9:07:17 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

I don't think one need have confidence to be a slave. I agree, people who latch onto any concept because they are simply unhappy with their lives can be.... frustrating. Yet there are dysfunctional people in all walks of life, and they have the same right to engage in relationships (healthy or otherwise) as everyone else.

I didn't say they didn't have the right, I simply stated I had no respect for them, I would of course be polite but that isn't the same as respecting them or their owners.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 9:22:02 AM

CelticPrince

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quote:

then how can someone call themself a Mistress, or Master, when fist starting?

slave,

the wise ones don't

CP

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 9:27:17 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Some of us never call ourselves a Mistress, either.
You can call yourself whatever you wish, but understand that everyone will take it differently.
Calling yourself a slave will be a buzzword to others to assume you are what they believe a slave is or should be. This may or may not be what you are looking to get across. Remember, there is no single definition that is written in stone as to what any of the titles mean. Unless you are going to furnish you definition in your profile, no one is going to know what you mean when you refer to yourself that way. You are using it as a buzz word, and thats the effect you'll get.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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VampiresLair

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 9:32:09 AM

Stephann

Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Some of us never call ourselves a Mistress, either.
You can call yourself whatever you wish, but understand that everyone will take it differently.
Calling yourself a slave will be a buzzword to others to assume you are what they believe a slave is or should be. This may or may not be what you are looking to get across. Remember, there is no single definition that is written in stone as to what any of the titles mean. Unless you are going to furnish you definition in your profile, no one is going to know what you mean when you refer to yourself that way. You are using it as a buzz word, and thats the effect you'll get.

DV

Interestingly enough, I never call myself a Master. I do call myself a slave owner, and a dominant. Master is what my slave (and the occasional slave-who-identifies-as-a-kajira) calls me. I don't expect to be called Master by anyone except my slave, though. In the same vein, I never call anyone else Master/Mistress either.

The crux here, I think, is that Master (to me) is a title, while slave is a label.

Stephan

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 9:48:29 AM

BitaTruble

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From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveintraning

Would like to know what other think when someone is new (like me), and I call myself a slave, or do I need the time put into it, then call myself a slave? Just wonding what people think

A lot of people struggle, sometimes for a very long time, to try to find a label which fits and feels comfortable. Most often, I think the struggle comes about because they really do want to be honest with themselves so they can be honest with potential partners. In the end what matters is doing what fills and feeds you and your partner/s.

Whatever label you choose is still only a first step in any communication because no matter what, you'll have to explain what that means to 'you' so you are on the same page with those to whom you speak. If a Mistress contacts you and says she's looking for a manservant you really won't know if her idea of manservant is the same as your idea of slave without engaging in the necessary conversation to find out. Label yourself as a conversation starter, there's nothing wrong with that, but try not to limit yourself to only a label and be aware that what you call yourself today, may be entirely different from what you call yourself tomorrow because you are different.

For me, the only label which has stayed consistent throughout my life is 'student'. Always has fit, and, I hope, always will.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 9:48:31 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveintraning

Would like to know what other think when someone is new (like me), and I call myself a slave, or do I need the time put into it, then call myself a slave? Just wonding what people think

I would think the same thought I have when someone, new or a member of the 'Old Royal Ancient Order of the Swiss Chard', represents themselves as 'Master'. What are you Master of? In your case; who are you owned by?

No matter what you call yourself the label is virtually meaningless and irrelevant unless or until its put in context of a dynamic. The dynamic or relationship, if you have one, defines the words. The words Master/slave are like snowflakes. As a group to the outside observer they all sound the same, some look the same. Upon closer inspection, each is different.

Debating the terms can be amusing but that also serves no purpose. A word doesn't describe you and more than it satisfies you. Enjoy the dynamic, the sensations, the sensational, the sensual; and whatever your partner calls you and he/she call themselves will take on the meaning and relevance it deserves. Until then enjoy the debate and be amused.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 3/31/2008 10:08:43 AM >

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 10:05:34 AM

Justme696

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At OP

you can call yourself as you want, the lifestyle will form you in time.
You will discover if you are slave or a sub. Till then....enjoy.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 10:09:26 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

'Old Royal Ancient Order of the Swiss Chard'

Sir, I hope you genuflected properly before typing such sacred names out of the dark mists of time.

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 10:28:51 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
'Old Royal Ancient Order of the Swiss Chard'

Sir, I hope you genuflected properly before typing such sacred names out of the dark mists of time.

Of course - while facing East with my left hand holding the key to the 'Collard' adorning the neck of my slave; Oh Captain, My Captain, Grand Poobah, Defender & Protector of Wayward slaves ~!

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RE: slave vs sub - 3/31/2008 10:34:16 AM

DiurnalVampire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
No matter what you call yourself the label is virtually meaningless and irrelevant unless or until its put in context of a dynamic. The dynamic or relationship, if you have one, defines the words.

Now, once I get the image out of your mind of you genuflecting while one hand is holding beth's collar...

That sums up what I have tried explaining many times, better than I ever could. Just becasue you have decied you are something, doesnt mean that something has any meaning until there is a context around it. What I expect of my slave is not going to be the same as what someone else expects of theirs. Hell, what I expect of one is not the same as what I expect of the other.

I may need to borrow that quote, itll save me typing :)

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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