Experienced insight needed (Full Version)

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KEYKEY -> Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:20:09 PM)

I am new to the lifestyle and just wanted to ask some experienced Domme's to share some of there insight. We all were at one point and time and possibly felt like I am... there is so much.... lol thanks to all that reply... Mistress in Training



CoasttoCoast -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:32:27 PM)

perhaps it'd help if you were more specific about what you needed?



Madame4a -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:39:42 PM)

Insight on... what?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:47:36 PM)

Why don't you just start reading?



LadyPact -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:58:28 PM)

Along with the others, I'm at a loss because there was no specific question involved.



darchChylde -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:58:33 PM)

White after Labor Day is a major faux-pas




MistresssAria -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:59:30 PM)

If random submissives attempt to piss you off on here - just delete their messages & block them..........some do that on purpose to get a pissed off response from you that they get get off on.

And don't attempt to learn to use a single tail until you've mastered other whips, I see too many people get cracked in the neck!

And don't whip someone in the lower back (can cause kidney damage), direct hard hits to the spinal cord (major damage!), neck...........and no hard smacking of people in the face unless VERY carefully calculated!!!  Hit too hard near the side/ear and it's *possible* to paralyze parts of their face.

Those are some tips that I think are good for beginners.............and yes, READ, and find BDSM groups to join in your area ;)



Boondoggle -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 7:59:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

White after Labor Day is a major faux-pas



Fox paw?! Barbaric!

As for advice: To quote the Wet Spots, "Don't stick a fish in your bum, chum."



TNstepsout -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 8:44:21 PM)

Don't wear leather in the sauna.



undergroundsea -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/25/2008 9:27:40 PM)

I think:

Consistency in behavior and about expected behavior helps build trust and confidence in the D/s dynamic, and to have rules and protocols taken seriously.

While unconventional, a D/s relationship is a social relationship and its fundamental workings (what makes or breaks it) are similar to those for other social relationships.

Latex pants are not good for one who spends half his life on his knees.

Cheers,

Sea



bittermoonlight -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/26/2008 3:54:08 PM)

I'll admit, I've been wondering if I should start a topic like this myself, so I'll take advantage of this one. I have some experience, but none of it "formal". I'm picky and antisocial so I think the experience thing may be slow going for me. Still, I've done a lot of reading, and have my share of opinions.

So I guess my question would be to the more experienced Dommes here: What advice do you wish someone had given you when you were, for all intents and purposes, pretty new to it all?



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/26/2008 4:02:30 PM)

I had some great advice given to me.
"Dont assume that becasue you have decided you are Dominant that everyone you know who is submissive will at any point want to be YOUR submissive. No one wants to talk to a bitch or a jerk who think that becasue they stuck a Master, Mistress or other title of choice in front of their intro they are owed something."

Also never assume someone wants your advice. It isnt always welcome.

DV



Goddess2002 -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 1:25:50 AM)

Rembember that as a Domme you're always right, even when you're not.



MisPandora -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 2:27:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KEYKEY

I am new to the lifestyle and just wanted to ask some experienced Domme's to share some of there insight. We all were at one point and time and possibly felt like I am... there is so much.... lol thanks to all that reply... Mistress in Training

Um, kay....so what is your question?



LaMistressa -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 4:21:28 AM)

Stay in school.

Look both ways before you cross the street.

Think twice about wearing latex in August.



Dnomyar -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 4:55:54 AM)

The quickest way to learn to be a Domme is to marry a poor submissive guy.



Lashra -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 9:30:41 AM)

I guess the best advice I can give is this, remember to protect him even from yourself. If your just learning to use the tools of the trade as they say, learn to use them safely! Just because it looks easy in a book doesn't mean that it is, you have to take procautions. Also realize that bruises and welts will go away, any mental trauma you inflict may NEVER go away. These are serious games we play here and they are not to be taken lightly.

~Lashra



LadyHathor -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 10:58:38 AM)

Do not confuse dominantion with domineering--and as DV so aptly stated, just because you espouse to be a dominant does not obligate any or every submissive to honor you.



bittermoonlight -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 11:28:45 AM)

All good advice. Especially about the latex in august [sm=lol.gif]

I've never been the sort to assume anything of anyone - but I do see it a lot, from both sides... people who approach all of the intarwebs as if they own everyone and people who act like I already own them (ew, please no.) Toys and tools I've had a bit of experience with, as well as the kind of damage that isn't visible or physically tangible. That's a good thing to add though, because if nothing else, I am aware of how deep these "games" can go.

Really I'd rather have a good conversation with a sub (or anyone else for that matter) than demanding immediately that they get on their knees and call me the empress of the universe or whatever. I can maybe understand how people who meet physically can have that kind of chemistry right off the bat, but still, if you don't know the person at all, why assume a power dynamic that may or may not be there...?

Sorry, just thinking aloud!



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Experienced insight needed (3/27/2008 1:29:15 PM)

Just because you are a dominant does not mean that you are the dominant of everyone around you.  You cannot step in and start bossing around someone else's submissive or someone who has not given their submission to you.  You also cannot bully other dominants into submitting to you.

If you act like a jackass, do not expect other dominants to run to your side and support you because we're supposed to "stick together" or some other such nonsense.

All of these from my own personal experiences with other not-so-kosher dominants, by the way.  It's like high school -- it's easy to fall in with the wrong crowd and start following a bad lead if you're the new kid.

Other than that... good luck?  I swear I don't bite that hard.  [:D]



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