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DelilahDeb -> RE: Doms...do you see subspace as a stop sign? (3/27/2008 1:28:01 AM)
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I do not see subspace as a stop sign; more as a caution signal. A sub in subspace may not be verbal at all, for instance, so all the responsibility for observing safe limits devolves to me for the duration. A diabetic in subspace may float right past a needed dose of insulin...or a hypoglycemic past the need for some protein. The fairly standard quiz for any masseuse seeing a new client is a guideline I try to use, so that I don't bump into surprises--any old or recent injuries I need to know about, any current medications, etc. (An ex-husband with a seizure disorder had once had a shoulder dislocated by some fool cop trying to hold him down (thinking that it was an LSD flashback, but it was a damn stupid move even if he'd been correct).
Nervous moments: I once had a sub fall completely into what I would call a state of hypnotic regression (to a childhood traumatic event) and the moment sub called me "Mommy", I knew that sub was not with me even in subspace (I never MommyDomme). Rather than try to yank the sub out suddenly, we rode the event through together--I made sure of sub's physical safety and allowed sub's cues to guide my actions (extremely minor contact) until sub reached a catharsis moment--successfully breaking free of one cuff in the process! (What can I say, I had to wear both the domina hat AND the priestess hat at the same time.) Once the sub was back with me, sub proved me correct: there was no recall of the statements, typical of hypnotic regression in some therapeutic modes. (Yikes, I thought!) So I made absolutely certain, first, that sub was mentally and emotionally back and physically here and now...and then, in gentle aftercare chit-chat, as sub said something about embarrassing itself, there was my opening, and I reminded sub that you never, never, blame the victim. The remainder of that chunk of aftercare constituted pastoral counseling more than kinky aftercare. Once again, I'm glad that I took time out from exploring the scene a decade back to conclude my priestess training...because it keeps coming in useful in the Scene and in the scenes.
Delilah Deb
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