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RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 3:28:10 PM

wulfgarw

Posts: 752
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I think that without the net, I would be eternally alone because I would have thought I was a freak I mean, what kinda nice guy puts women in handcuffs? Then I woulda likely met the wrong type that would sue me or even press charges and take everything.

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Post #: 21

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 3:29:39 PM

Justme696

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

I think that without the net, I would be eternally alone because I would have thought I was a freak I mean, what kinda nice guy puts women in handcuffs?

lol..I had the exact same thoughts years ago....funny to read you have the same.

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Post #: 22

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 5:05:18 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
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I came into this via the RL avenue.

So, if I had to find out about BDSM via the internet alone, I think I would have been pretty well disillusioned after the first year, and continued to try and find others via dating. Let's face it, the internet is filled to the brim with fakes, frauds and phonies. Sure, I would have had all kinds of cyber, been stood up for any number of possible meetings at some good bistros, maybe even gone as far as a one night stand somewhere... but finding anyone for long term? Yeah, right!

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 23

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 5:21:36 PM

stella41b

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From: SW London (UK)
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I don't think it would have made much difference. I think I was influenced far more in my journey by who I actually met rather than the methods I adopted in finding them.

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RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 5:22:36 PM

MontrealPhoenix

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yeah, i too wouldn't have had a clue on where to look. My dom at the time told me about Alt. Ironically it was being there that showed me that he was a fake and ended our relationship - admittedly an online one.

Phoenix

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Post #: 25

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 5:34:58 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How do you think it would have worked out for you? Do you think it would have changed your perceptions? Do you think the opposite way would make you appreciate the way you really got here more or less?

This just made me laugh but in a psoitive way. Look I met three vanilla husbands in 'real' life: the first at a rock gig, the second at an audition (he was another musician I was a set designer then) and the third: well, hell he came to fix my car, I had just watched a Fish Called Wanda and he spoke Italian......
anyway the BEST bdsm's I met (or virtually met) on the internet and it kind of short circuited all that nail-biting three years yer know that passes in absolute boredom before you tell the guy you actually get off on being beaten up.....
BUT I have to say I met my Master on a straight site and we have only just discovered we both have our bdsm alter egos on alt...and we almost, well almost but didn't quite meet on there...I am so glad we didn't beause it combined the excitement of meeting via the net but also some of the best of slowly discovering that I was such a slave slut cunt whore bitch and whatever....
i honestly think that had it not been the way it was well...it would have been different.....and that's the whole exciting issue is that the internet makes so much more possible and almost infinitely so that the one thing it did for me was bring me out of scarcity and make me realise just how many (gawwwwd) how many men there are out there.......

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Post #: 26

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 5:37:37 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfgarw

I think that without the net, I would be eternally alone because I would have thought I was a freak I mean, what kinda nice guy puts women in handcuffs?

(in reply to wulfgarw)

Post #: 27

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 5:49:22 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There have been some threads in the past that have talked about the positive and negative effects the internet has had on BDSM. I'm not rehashing that debate, but a similar thought came into My mind while participating on another thread.

Each of us has made it to this point in our journey through particular methods. While we are all on a BDSM site now, we didn't get here the same way. Some started by using the net, and some didn't.

What I am curious about is, what do you think you would have done if you would have had the need or opportunity to get here in the opposite method of the way your experience led you here? If you learned about BDSM through the net, I'd like to hear how you think you would have gone about it if you couldn't connect to it electronically. If you started out in ways other than the computer, I'd like to hear how you think you would have started out if the 'in-person' (trying to avoid the 'weal' and 'twue' tangents) experience wasn't available to you.

How do you think it would have worked out for you? Do you think it would have changed your perceptions? Do you think the opposite way would make you appreciate the way you really got here more or less?

Wouldn't have happened.

Couldn't have found her.

I'd have been running around on first dates (doing 3 hours of opening doors, pulling out chairs) eventually asking..."say...just a thought here......how do you feel about me sleeping on the floor next to you, occasionally sucking on your toes while you chastise/spank/cut/spit on...me?"

(I don't think Matchdotcom would have had something for me....it's a gut feel but I'm going with it).

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 28

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 6:00:00 PM

PsyVamp

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Joined: 10/30/2006
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Since I began this journey long before the 'net was public and used so widely I'd have to say that I'd be more informed and may have made different choices had this medium been available to me "back in the day".

I would have heard about things faster and been exposed to more like minded people in an equally faster fashion.

But, the way I got here made me who I am today, so I really can't complain.

Lady Jag

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Post #: 29

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 6:16:18 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I was doing this stuff way before there was an internet....and hooking up with others, too... So I suspect that I would be having a lot of fun, but not having the immediate gratification of talking via IM. I wonder if so many of the folks who were out in the local scene ages ago would still be out and about?

Would there be quite so much information for us to sort through without the interwebs?

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Post #: 30

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 6:35:11 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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While I was married, I had these urges for bondage, rough sex, etc. and my husband rarely would even try to do this for me. It always felt weird, mostly (I think) because he is not a dominant, and has no independant interest in this. It was never satisfying physically or emotionally.

I can't see how I'd have understood that there were many more people interested in BDSM without the net. It's where I finally learned what fulfills me.

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Post #: 31

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 7:07:25 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

Wouldn't have happened.

Couldn't have found her.

I'd have been running around on first dates (doing 3 hours of opening doors, pulling out chairs) eventually asking..."say...just a thought here......how do you feel about me sleeping on the floor next to you, occasionally sucking on your toes while you chastise/spank/cut/spit on...me?"

(I don't think Matchdotcom would have had something for me....it's a gut feel but I'm going with it).

See, I would have said, ABOUT DAMN TIME little mister!

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Post #: 32

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 7:16:41 PM

Real_Trouble

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Joined: 2/25/2008
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Isn't the original question something of a false dilemma? Why did one necessarily need to be first in any meaningful way? I concurrently pursued things both in real life and online (as well as reading offline voraciously, a bad habit I still cannot seem to shake), because knowledge can be found in many places, and I try to seek it out as often as possible. I think, in many cases, it is a truly arbitrary restriction to simply focus effort on one place without casting a broad net to see what is out there.

With that said, what matters to me is the information, not where I got it; I doubt I would be much different with or without the internet, though I might spend less money on computers without it. So the big difference would be a few grand for my laptop, it seems...

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Post #: 33

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/19/2008 7:21:00 PM

kyraofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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Since I did not discover the terms for what I wanted until my early thirties, what Lucky wrote pretty much describes my relationships up until that time (except for the "cheating a lot"... I only did that "a little"). When I discovered the words for what I was seeking, I had been single for about 10 years and I was content to be that way rather than get into another relationship that would not meet my needs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Naa, I'd have tried it the vanilla way, been frustrated, cheated a lot, eventually ended up single and traveling alone. I'd still basically be me, but not really know of the options to be otherwise.

If by some stroke of luck I would have found the dungeon's and club in my area without the internet, I would have been extremely limited and confined in what I have learned and experienced within my relationships and within play. I would have become discouraged rather quickly over the politics and in-fighting.

Knight's Kyra

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Post #: 34

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/20/2008 3:14:57 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I would probably just have become a biker instead. They always had an inside track on this stuff.

or an outside tread

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Post #: 35

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/20/2008 3:19:42 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
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i am not really just my profile
and my profile really isn't me.......
my profile is really everything i would like to be but probably am not....
and in reality i would probably like to be just like my profile....
as the great voice in the sky says everytime i get off a tube train: mind the gap!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 36

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/20/2008 7:51:34 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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I've been "connecting" with people on the internet for a long time. I have only recently begun to see it as an avenue for BDSM education and discussion. I'm with dvsfox in that I would probably still be wondering about my own twisted fantasies and thinking I was unbalanced. I confess, with some embarassment, that my view of BDSM was greatly influenced by the media, and I hadn't felt comfortable researching it any deeper. It was only the gradual introduction of my own subliness through My Lord that brought me to look into it more. Now I find myself eagerly sucking up information and trying new things. It's exciting to connect with so many people whose lives are influenced by this same matter. It's exciting to share thoughts and learn from others.

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Post #: 37

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/20/2008 8:30:11 PM

marsneedswomen

Posts: 98
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

I probably would get more sleep rather than spend it reading, chatting, and looking at pictures on the Internet about bdsm.

Mistress Spenser's submissive
marsneedswomen

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Post #: 38

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/20/2008 9:46:05 PM

Domisub111

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/6/2007
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most d/s ers have had the calling before. The net opens up communication and sharing but, mostly, reflects on society's flaws. Can it lead to conducive, satisfying relationships beyond the web?

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Post #: 39

RE: The BDSM Opposite Net - 3/20/2008 9:52:23 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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I would have been into it, probably wouldn't have tried the range of things that I have though. I have always been into knife play, only before I knew about bdsm, it was "kinky knife sex!"

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Post #: 40

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