Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Subs list for sucess


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Subs list for sucess Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 8:11:22 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		In the past we have seen post about submission and slaves being a gift.
Also the domanence is a gift. Lets say for a moment that it is what two put into it that makes it speacil.!!  We can redefine this any way you want. I use the kiss method for success on either side of the fence (keep it simple stupid)

For true sucess or at least a great chance in it you have to understand you.
  1. what are your values
  2. what is your goals or future plans
  3. what things you struggle with
  4. sheading of the past
  5. what your willing to accept in someone else and not
  6. stablity health and fiscal

everything has cause and effect. When your sub you look for someone in a different ways to do certian things for you. as does a domme, dom .  You will see on here people going there is no certian right way or wrong way to be in this lifestyle.  HOW ever there is a certain right way and wrong way to live. 

  • taking care of your responsiblites is up to you

this is a big one people seem to give this up to the  dominate partner like they are suppose to be the fix all problem solver. You would be suprised doms dommes are not perfect lol . Do not expect them to fix you. It is up to you to take care of your life.   Just because you have ums and have been through divocres and addictions and other things does not mean your not accountable
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 9:03:32 AM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		Please, i beg of you.....run a spellcheck. Most of this is impossible to understand.
 
Thank you,
 
Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 9:09:50 AM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		Again with the
quote:

"Did it feel good? Do it again."
.


_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 9:31:52 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		Despite the grammatical errors, I think you are spot-on with this assessment.

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to HerLord)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 10:10:51 AM   
SinergyNstrumpet


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

everything has cause and effect. When your sub you look for someone in a different ways to do certian things for you. as does a domme, dom . You will see on here people going there is no certian right way or wrong way to be in this lifestyle. HOW ever there is a certain right way and wrong way to live.

* taking care of your responsiblites is up to you


this is a big one people seem to give this up to the dominate partner like they are suppose to be the fix all problem solver. You would be suprised doms dommes are not perfect lol . Do not expect them to fix you. It is up to you to take care of your life. Just because you have ums and have been through divocres and addictions and other things does not mean your not accountable


There is a saying, two halves do not make a whole, but they do make a hole to fall into. I agree with that assessment for the most part. I do not expect others to take responsibility for me. At the same time the idea of making a life with someone that expected that they would never have to stand beside me when issues arose in my life is rather off putting to me. Why have a partner if they aren't there for you when things go bad? I have the natural inclination to do all I can for the person I am submitting to. I am a natural caregiver. If they do not feel that they would want to take care of me or return the favor if it became necessary... what the fuck would I want that person for?

I think being independent is wonderful. But there comes a time when one trades independence for something more substantial. Now some people think they can have it both ways... be a self sustaining person giving nothing and taking nothing from the other person in their life unless it is "fluffy"... if their partner truly needs something from them, then they are all of the sudden "needy" and not worthy of them... all of the sudden the relationship is not one of independence anymore. I have seen this happen to many people. Once the going gets tough, their mate is gone.

I desire a relationship that is interdependent. I desire to have that person that will shoulder my burdens, but I am shouldering theirs at the same time. I desire to entwine my life with another person. Now, that kinda flies in the face of the point of view that if they have a problem, it is all theirs and it isn't my concern. If they have UM problems, those problems become mine. If they have economic woes, those woes become mine.. if we are sharing a life, we are sharing it all...


just my thoughts on the topic.



julia

Edited to add... some doms get off on fixing a submissive, and the sub likes that too. It is their kink...their kink is not my kink, but their kink is still ok. In other words, it satisfies the needs that they have.. one needing to be fixed and the other being fixer.. who am I to say it is wrong?



< Message edited by SinergyNstrumpet -- 3/16/2008 10:17:42 AM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 10:21:41 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		5 types of bread
as many types of condiments as possible
lots and lots of meat
as many types of veggies as possible
diet pepsi
salt n vinegar pringles
chocolate bar of choice


< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 3/16/2008 10:23:21 AM >

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 10:51:27 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		I get the drift.

However to me the right way to live for anyone is to be yourself openly and honestly, be responsible for yourself and all which emanates from you, and committing yourself to living in a way which is appropriate and normal for you.

I don't see submission or dominance as a gift. It's just part of a transaction or an exchange between two people who wish to complete the transaction and share the experience of that exchange and relationship together for the benefit of both.

I understand where the people who think that submission is a gift are coming from, in that it is more important to make the Dominant an offer and be willing to give, but if it is a gift then surely it's a gift with strings attached? I see a difference between being openminded about expectations and having no expectations. I don't believe that anyone goes into a relationship without having any expectations. Indeed, there's quite a few threads here from people who have given their 'gift' but who are terribly unhappy with what they receive in return.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 11:07:22 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		this slave surrendered anything prefaced with the personal pronoun "her" to Master when she became Master's slave, from posessions to responsibilities.  her life isn't "hers", anymore...it is His, to conduct as He sees fit.  He has taken responsibility for this slave's life and has given this slave responsibilities that are pleasing to Him.
 
we didn't speak of "gifting" each other with dominance or submission, or "fixing" each other---and for those that do, more power to them...it just wasn't/isn't our perspective.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 11:54:00 AM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		 I'm relatively new to the whole D/s dynamic.  When I first became interested, I read everything I could and as a result, I romanticized D/s quite a bit.  I clearly admit that I had a fantasy image in my mind of how a D/s relationship should be and in the beginning, this way of thinking caused quite a few problems.  I'm certainly old enough to realize that some of my views were totally unrealistic, but D/s and BDSM can make you forget everything (for a little while at least).  As someone said to me "this can be pretty heady stuff" as I experienced sub-frenzy to the nth degree.   There were many times I expected my Dom to "fix" things and I'd become frustrated or angry when He couldn't or wouldn't as it really wasn't His issue and it was something that I would/should/could have handled quite well in the past.  The level on which I elevated Him was "my Knight in Shining Armor".  I'd read about other relationships and I'd want to pattern my relationship to match those who were obviously more experienced as it was the one "true" way.  I've learned that the only "true" way is the one that works best in my relationship. 
I'm very thankful that my Sir has an infinite amount of patience as I'd attempted to revolve my life around Him and He was quite firm that I maintain certain aspects of my independence (which prior to meeting Him, I'd worn the independent label proudly, almost as a banner around my neck).  He is always available as a sounding board and/or to instruct and advise where necessary, and  He does it in a way which allows me to have a certain degree of comfort that He's fully capable and willing to step in when I'm unable to handle a situation (this has been evident many times, especially within the past couple of months).  Since then, I've stepped out of the "fantasy" and am living the "reality".   Sure, the fantasy is better played out, but the reality is much more fulfilling.  I realize that I still have a long journey as I have a lot to learn; but I recognize that my desire to learn and be the best that I can for Him as well as myself will only make our bond stronger.  

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 11:58:11 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		In the past we have seen post about submission and slaves being a gift.
Also the dominance is a gift. Let’s say for a moment that it is what two put into it that makes it special.!!  We can redefine this any way you want. I use the kiss method for success on either side of the fence (keep it simple stupid)

For true success or at least a great chance in it you have to understand you.

what are your values
what is your goals or future plans
what things you struggle with
shedding of the past
what your willing to accept in someone else and not
stability health and fiscal

Everything has cause and effect. When you are a sub you look for someone in a different ways to do certain things for you. as does a domme, dom .  You will see on here people going there is no certian right way or wrong way to be in this lifestyle.  HOW ever there is a certain right way and wrong way to live. 

taking care of your responsibilities is up to you

this is a big one people seem to give this up to the  dominate partner like they are suppose to be the fix all problem solver. You would be surprised doms dommes are not perfect lol . Do not expect them to fix you. It is up to you to take care of your life.   Just because you have ums and have been through divorces and addictions and other things does not mean your not accountable

I type very very fast and forget my fingers gets ahead of my mind s lol

(in reply to MontrealPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 12:24:30 PM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

5 types of bread
as many types of condiments as possible
lots and lots of meat
as many types of veggies as possible
diet pepsi
salt n vinegar pringles
chocolate bar of choice



Great. Now I'm insane with hunger. *shakes fist*



_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 12:30:13 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		True success is achieved from learning to fuck up your own failures and mistakes.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 1:10:24 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

True success is achieved from learning to fuck up your own failures and mistakes.


I have to admit I had to read this a few times.    I kept wanting to rework the wording, but it finally hit me.   Very true words.   Nice way to put it. 

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 1:39:18 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		hunger for me?

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to TheLookingGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 1:47:36 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		wait food ?

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 3:28:10 PM   
UncleNasty


Posts: 1108
Joined: 3/20/2004
Status: offline 		Accountability. Accountability to ourselves and to the others in our lives. I see it as a keystone for functional and healthy relationships. Without it what is the point of being involved with another? Just a good opportunity to relive our favorite bad feelings.

This lifestyle presents myriad ways for people to avoid being accountable, all with an illusion fo extreme levels of accountability.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 7:27:58 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

In the past we have seen post about submission and slaves being a gift.
Also the dominance is a gift. Let’s say for a moment that it is what two put into it that makes it special.!!  We can redefine this any way you want. I use the kiss method for success on either side of the fence (keep it simple stupid)

For true success or at least a great chance in it you have to understand you.

what are your values
what is your goals or future plans
what things you struggle with
shedding of the past
what your willing to accept in someone else and not
stability health and fiscal


    Everything has cause and effect. When you are a sub you look for someone in a different ways to do certain things for you. as does a domme, dom .  You will see on here people going there is no certian right way or wrong way to be in this lifestyle.  HOW ever there is a certain right way and wrong way to live. 

    taking care of your responsibilities is up to you



      this is a big one people seem to give this up to the  dominate partner like they are suppose to be the fix all problem solver. You would be surprised doms dommes are not perfect lol . Do not expect them to fix you. It is up to you to take care of your life.   Just because you have ums and have been through divorces and addictions and other things does not mean your not accountable

      I type very very fast and forget my fingers gets ahead of my mind s lol

      Ahhhh, that's better!
       
      I'm a great believer in personal accountability. And yes, finding a dom/domina or sub (as the case may be) won't fix what's wrong in your life any better than alcohol or drugs.
       
      I believe that we need to make sure our lives are straightened up before any new relationship is started. Otherwise the problems just follow and eat at the relationship.
       
      Geez LB that's what Spellchecker was invented for ;)
       
      Phoenix

      _____________________________

      "Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
      ~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

      "He who ties a woman owns her"
      ~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



      (in reply to LATEXBABY64)
      Profile   Post #: 17
      RE: Subs list for sucess - 3/16/2008 7:31:08 PM   
      tahlly


      Posts: 57
      Status: offline
      A list for success?
      The only thing I would put on such a list is
      1) be myself
      Nothing else is needed.

      (in reply to LATEXBABY64)
      Profile   Post #: 18
      Page:   [1]
      All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Subs list for sucess Page: [1]
      Jump to:





      New Messages No New Messages
      Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
      Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
       Post New Thread
       Reply to Message
       Post New Poll
       Submit Vote
       Delete My Own Post
       Delete My Own Thread
       Rate Posts




      Collarchat.com © 2025
      Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

      0.156