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submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 6:50:37 AM   
searchin4love


Posts: 47
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		"you musnt look in my novels,for the old stable ego of the character"- DH LAWRENCE

well i wasnt submissive from the begining.i dont even know whether i am really submissive even now!!
i just fantasize about it..
i dont believe in fruedian interpretation of foot fetish,as i wasnt having that since the begining.
it happened like this i was watching a porn about one year ago and it involved foot play .i found that exciting also my fantasies about women were becoming stale and boring..the very next day i searched for leggy videos and hence i was introduced to world of foot fetish..the foot fetish sites conditioned me to submission as many of the videos were like that..i mean submitting and worshipping feet of dominating women.my stale fantasies about women were again refreshed..

most of the women are submissives ..its very hard to find a dominating woman specially in a country like mine..
are we sub/dom just by chance or by conditioning as in my case?



< Message edited by searchin4love -- 3/16/2008 6:55:06 AM >
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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 7:02:13 AM   
MD1Master


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline



My belief is that conditioning plays an important role but so do experiences and exposures.  Tastes and preferences can change over time.  For instance, it has only been in recent years that I have developed a taste for scotch, not any scotch, but the islands.  This developed over time due to exposure by a friends of mine that happened to enjoy scotch.  I, of course, took the interest to the next level and traveled through Scotland "discovering" scotch.

I believe that sexual preferences are similar.  Your interest in submission may be the direct result of your particular country.  The forbidden fruit complex.  The beauty of this site is it allows one to explore old and current interests and develop new ones. 

Whatever the reason, follow your interests and desires.  You are on a journey, is your starting point as important as your current path and/or eventual destination?



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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 7:07:50 AM   
searchin4love


Posts: 47
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		yup.i think we all are changing throughout our life .specially our sexuality which i think is always changing with time..

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 7:26:15 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Actually I'm not sure you are conditioned into submission, you've simply expanded your fantasies to include foot worship. Kink and submission are not identical. And if you only know women who do what they're told, wouldn't it be easy to tell them to sit down while you rub and nibble their feet?

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 8:59:02 AM   
searchin4love


Posts: 47
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		yepp.i told you na.now i find submissive footplay more exciting rather than the one you mentioned..i was like that only few months before..

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 9:26:19 AM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		I would suggest that, as with most personality and mental characteristics, you will find that virtually everything is a combination of broad genetic predisposition paired with a solid helping of experience.

So... yes to both.




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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 9:28:11 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think its a mixture of both. We are all (in my opinion) born with Dominant and submissive traits. Culture and life experiences help them to form our personalities. One is not better nor stronger  than the other they are just different.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 9:35:50 AM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		We are no more than what we believe we are. We can be any thing we believe. One's being is ingrained in our way of thinking. To be anything else, we have to alter our thought patterns align. This comes only with belief.

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"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 9:57:49 AM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		greetings searchin4love

My seeds of submission were planted from a very early stage, kept under the extremely domineering thumb, of my now deceased mother, until I was of the age of 17. Being rebellious for a few years, because of my contempt of her control over me, left me seeking out real experiences what " life" means and because of my bad choices in alot of trouble, as I was trying to find my way. But, it is because of her conditioning, and constant control that she had over me, that I can and do  relish in the fact I am a submissive woman. The traits that she instilled in me will never leave, they should only flourish with the right owner.  

_____________________________

respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 11:00:55 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		i remember i had a foot fetish from around 5 - 6 years old. i still remember the time there was a party at our house and i remember some or one of the female guests had taken her shoes of as they where dancing. i remember as a kid i was crawling on the floor and had this passion to be near them. Ofcourse i was kept away but the need to be near them was on my mind.

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Max: And loving it!


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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 11:47:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well as I like to say- orientation is innate, expression of orientation is learned.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_744252/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#744266
Do you think you were "born this way"?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_691960/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#691984
naturally Ds?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_499963/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#499979
Nature or nurture?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_307130/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#307130
Do you feel being a dom/me is innate or can be learned?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_461558/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#461558
hard-wired, why why why!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_143698/mpage_1/key_born%252Craised/tm.htm#143698
nature versus nurture

http://www.collarchat.com/m_760860/mpage_2/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#761518
born to serve?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_468650/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#468650
nature vs nurture

http://www.collarchat.com/m_35901/mpage_1/key_learned%252Cborn/tm.htm#35901
born or learned, how we become dom?

_____________________________

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 11:55:04 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

We are no more than what we believe we are. We can be any thing we believe. One's being is ingrained in our way of thinking. To be anything else, we have to alter our thought patterns align. This comes only with belief.



Ridiculous way of thinking.

You can't be anything because you believe it....There probably would be no queers. We would all be musicians, moviestars, athletes, as well as probably rich.

A man's got to know his limitations. You have to understand what is reality.

I believe I can fly.

_____________________________



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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 11:56:07 AM   
TheLookingGirl


Posts: 162
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: A city near you.
Status: offline 		I think its different for everyone. Some are born knowing this is what they want. They can look back and see to thier childhood tendancies of Dom/Sub nature. And then there are those who come across this lifestyle and find its exactly what they want, and never knew existed.

I think in the case of foot worship, I cannot give advice as I don't share the same kink.

_____________________________

The strongest & most effective force in assuring the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated,but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 11:57:59 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		That has to be the answer.  Part of what I feel has to be inborn because I've felt this way for as long as I can remember.  Some of my earliest memories are dreams about binding and tortureing women.  But other parts of who I am--my ideas, my attitude toward society, what I think works and doesn't work, etc.--have been influenced by what I've observed since I've been conscious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I think its a mixture of both.

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 12:01:04 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

We are no more than what we believe we are. We can be any thing we believe. One's being is ingrained in our way of thinking. To be anything else, we have to alter our thought patterns align. This comes only with belief.



Ridiculous way of thinking.

You can't be anything because you believe it....There probably would be no queers. We would all be musicians, moviestars, athletes, as well as probably rich.

A man's got to know his limitations. You have to understand what is reality.

I believe I can fly.

You do not believe.

Either way, I cannot be who I am if I do not believe I am me. If a spend my time trying to be something I do not believe I am, How can I convince any one including myself that is who I am?

*Edited to correct triple negative*

< Message edited by HerLord -- 3/16/2008 12:02:49 PM >

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"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 12:23:19 PM   
searchin4love


Posts: 47
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline 		hmm interesting info..
how my sexual preference changed with time is given below
1>any thing feminine
2>boobs
3>ass
4>foot
5>anything feminine
6>submission(basically to foot of woman)
7> and now curious about many things which include light slapping ,barefoot trampling,face sitting..


i am curious about these things i havent touched a woman sexually ever..

wat do you think ?in my case wasnt i conditioned like this because of the sites available on net..
the more odd and wrong an activity seems to be the more exciting the fantasy is ..


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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 2:27:42 PM   
SirRussellP


Posts: 107
Joined: 1/10/2006
Status: offline 		I think you ask a question that will never be answered because there is so many factors in being either Dom or sub.  I know that the Dom in me is very strong and all ways has been but I also know I grew up in a family that expected strength and valued that above all else.

So it is part what we have inside and what has happened to us during our life that has us where we are today and that means that tomorrow that might change.

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/16/2008 4:39:46 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		As part of the animal kingdoms human also are born with different levels of dominant and submissive  ... it is genetically based,  but conditioning and training can help to modify, but someone born mostly submissive will never truly become an effective dominant as one born  naturally into the role,  this can be seen quite easily in canine model,  when nature is allowed to take its course and dog litters are left together they will sort the dominance themselves as they mature and the most effective dominate becomes apparent, and there is a huge difference in the way they dominate over a human assembled pack where no true dominant exists and a submissive dog must assume the role and they also get less respect from the less submissive animals in that pack  so the pack is more dysfunctional and more quarreling/grumpiness/complaining exists they are not as happy and contented as when a true dominant is in charge.  Kink/fetishes are activities and not necessarily related to dominance.

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/19/2008 11:23:16 AM   
DiablosPet


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		Ah, the old 'nature vs nurture' issue..

Personally, I believe it depends on the person.

I recall imagining and having fantasies of being restrained and tied up at a very young age, possibly 5 or 6 but not sure. At least for as long as I can recall. When we were children playing house at day care and what not, I was always preferably the family pet. So for me, it was nature.

My Master, on the other hand, says he never even considered dominating another whether it be erotic or otherwise, until he was much older, in his late teens. He had been raised to believe that all were absolutely equal and that to dominate someone was an old-fashioned and unacceptable behavior. It wasn't until after he left his childhood home to live on is own, and met people of the lifestyle that he learned it was okay to do these things, as long as everyone involved consented. Thus, he is nurture.

More oftan than not, it will be a personal thing. Many have known all their lives that they are dominant or submissive, others are introduced to the idea along the way.

Its all a matter of self, in the end.

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RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 3/19/2008 11:26:35 AM   
philip26


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline 		I think it's a bit of both. Obviously your genes have an influence on your character as a person. However these can be strenthened or made less by eperiences in ones life. Especially when one is young I believe.

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