stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
|
One question I have here is, if when you are born you cannot stand up, you cannot talk, you cannot even coordinate your movements, how can you be 'born' submissive?
Being dominant or submissive is really nothing more than a role, a way of communication and interacting with others, a specific set of gestures, body language, movements, patterns of thought, rituals, and activities through which one person can communicate to another 'I am in control here' or 'you are in control, not me'.
When someone identifies themselves as dominant, submissive, or switch, they are not describing themselves as people, but merely indicating their chosen or preferred role when interacting with someone else usually on a close interpersonal or intimate basis.
Just as with any role in life, be it mother, wife, teacher, or anything else it is acquired. The development of any role depends on a number of factors, experience, personality, circumstances, culture, language, background, your childhood, the way you were brought up and raised.
Some people are just naturally predisposed to one role or another, almost as if it's in their nature. This is very much in the same way as Robin Williams is an actor, Mozart was a musician, Joe DiMaggio was a baseball player. But all of these people had to still become who they were, either through training, study or practice.
Similarly some people seem to have become dominant or submissive almost naturally. Upbringing and how they were treated as parents is often a major factor. It might have even been acquired whilst they were still infants. Daddy dom at one years old might have been able to scream the house down, Mistress might have been that two year old with her fingers and hands everywhere, who nobody could leave alone just for a split second. Master at one year old might have been determined not to eat porridge, and no amount of attempts at spoon-feeding or games of 'here comes the choo choo train' would have succeeded in getting that oatmeal into his mouth. But then again, the reverse might be true. Who knows?
For others there is a trigger, a major event in their lives, a trauma such as child abuse, domestic violence, and through coming to terms with this trauma and learning how to deal with it some people have acquired the role and it developed from there.
Sometimes it cannot be explained. It might even be linked to one's occupation. One thing I have never been able to explain for the life of me is the disproportionate number of people interested in BDSM who work in either healthcare or IT, or the number of women who identify themselves as Dommes who own dogs. I'm convinced that you can find someone who's kinky at your local hospital almost as easy as logging onto Collarme. But please don't take my word for it. It's just my assumption.
But you have the phenomenon of the 'shadow' Dominant or submissive, someone who is very dominant in their occupation, but who prefers to submit in private, or alternatively, someone who submits as part of their job, but who feels the need to be dominant in private.
This is why when I come across a 21 year old Master who claims to have 10 years experience I believe him. His experience is relative and if he feels confident enough that he has acquired the dominant role, then I for one am inclined to believe him. Same too with the naturally dominant woman. I attach as much weight to 'I am a 'born' submissive' as I would to someone described as a 'born' musician, it indicates to me that they have acquired the role so much it's part of their nature.
_____________________________
CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q
|
RE: submission:by birth or by conditioning? - 
Profile
RE: Submission: by birth or by conditioning? - 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread