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expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 6:15:14 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		I have played with a good number of people, I knew that eventually I would play with a woman that needed permission to cum, and I was not sure how the experence would be, honestly I thought I hated the idea of orgasm controll. well once I had the experience I was hooked. The look on her face while she is so close to orgasm makes me wonder why I dreaded the experence.

On the other hand (almost literally) an activity that I thought I would love, fisting, seemed less than my expectations, not to say I did not enjoy the experence, but it did not live up to what I had in my head.

who else has had expections go that far above and beyond or disapoint you?

Thanks for putting up with the stupid questions...
Phin

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 6:20:19 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's not stupid.

I thought needles were going to be more bloody than they were-they weren't.

That girls were going to be more embarassed by being diapered than they were-some of them got the diapers wet a long time before they peed.

I thought that Domming would make me feel powerful-it was work.

Nothing is ever quite what it seems.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 6:28:21 PM   
msterfixer


Posts: 78
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Every one has expectations that don't meet up to the experience, both good and bad

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 8:27:49 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: msterfixer

Every one has expectations that don't meet up to the experience, both good and bad


or experiences that exceed expectations....

then there are experiences that measure up to expectations.

consequences of each situation is going to rather varied for everyone.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 8:44:09 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Honest Answer EVERY Fantasy I EVER had did not live up to the Cock Spanking Satisfaction that it inspired.

However things I said NO WAY IN HELL to, like having my Asshole Fingered while getting a blowjob.......

Please excuse the phrase......

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC

Steel

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 10:18:43 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I think there has been some great points already made on the thread.

Expectations and experiences often change when we change partners.

Things that experienced we with somebody that felt lame or were hot as hell, are rather different with somebody else.


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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 11:28:57 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		I don't go in with any expections.  I'll get some lame idea like wild monkey sex.  We'll try it to see if I like it.  Now I can honestly say monkey sex ain't all it's cracked up to be.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 3/14/2008 11:29:59 PM >

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/14/2008 11:52:38 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		I agree sailing bum, monkeys are totally lame in the sack. I prefer puppies myself, although ponies have their *cough* charms.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 12:28:12 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey

I agree sailing bum, monkeys are totally lame in the sack. I prefer puppies myself, although ponies have their *cough* charms.


Is it true there hung like horses???

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 1:22:15 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		life is just trail and error
try it..and you know..if it is good or bad..before we can't judge


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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 5:35:36 AM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: msterfixer
consequences of each situation is going to rather varied for everyone.


Exactly! It depends on the person you're with, what you enjoy doing to them, what gives them pleasure as well. I simply LOVE variety! (Except in partners; one submissive is just fine for me).
 
Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 5:44:48 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin
who else has had expections go that far above and beyond or disapoint you?

As I've mentioned several times before on here, I thought I would love wax play and didn't at all.  Those little drips just piss me off.

I thought I would hate caning.  I really feared and dreaded it.  The first stroke was bliss and I've loved it ever since.  I'm proud to say I can take a helluva caning and enjoy it.

Needleplay, knifeplay, watersports and most other activities were almost exactly as I expected - wonderful!  I think I was pretty much "on target" with my feelings and expectations about most things.  But, not those damn little wax drips..................luci

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 5:49:35 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

But, not those damn little wax drips..................luci


bigger candles give bigger drips...lol


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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 7:03:08 AM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

I have played with a good number of people, I knew that eventually I would play with a woman that needed permission to cum, and I was not sure how the experence would be, honestly I thought I hated the idea of orgasm controll. well once I had the experience I was hooked. The look on her face while she is so close to orgasm makes me wonder why I dreaded the experence.

On the other hand (almost literally) an activity that I thought I would love, fisting, seemed less than my expectations, not to say I did not enjoy the experence, but it did not live up to what I had in my head.

who else has had expections go that far above and beyond or disapoint you?

Thanks for putting up with the stupid questions...
Phin


Absolutely not a stupid question.
 
expectation:  That humilation and degradation are the same thing and that I would obey and endure but was convinced it would feel weakening and very negative.
 
experience:  That they are NOT the same.  That I would feel a feeling so deep in me that it feels like a need, to do certain things to bring him pleasure and to express my hunger to please and serve his happiness.  Not only do they not make me feel weakened, they make me feel strong and empowered. 
 
expectation:  As a person who had such a tender head that I ran at the sight of a hairbrush as a child, I couldn't image someone pulling my hair without many shrill screams coming from me.   I was always afraid of needles and the pain they cause and so would shudder at the stories of others experiencing being pierced in play.
 
Experience:  In a mindset created by the one I give my control and body over to in a power-transfer relationship >> there are no screams at either...but theres definately some "coming" involved. Oh and moaning.... moaning and zoning
 
expectations:  sex was penetration and of the body.
experience:  I can have orgasmz of the mind that can exceed anything vaginal or clitoral.
 
Theres so much more I could include here...but will try not to go on and on  LOL ( for a change ) .. Thanks, Phin, for a great topic. 
 
Cyndi

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.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 10:05:07 AM   
Hotch


Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I don't go in with any expections.  I'll get some lame idea like wild monkey sex.  We'll try it to see if I like it.  Now I can honestly say monkey sex ain't all it's cracked up to be.

BadOne


My vote for best reply.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 10:58:14 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I always believed I would *hate* needle play .. went to a demo recently ... after about an hour the guy running it asked if anyone would care to try a little needle in the arm ..

I have never moved between points A and B faster than I did from my seat to the stage.

I am a complete coward, and a romantic .. all my fantasies are based around things that can be read in any Mills and Boon novella ... I dread new forms of play believing them to be horrific forms of torture which will scar me for eternity.

The afterwards when I am a panting puddle of goey desire ... I admit that my imagination is my worst enemy

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 11:36:52 AM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		I can't believe I'm admitting this on an open forum because to me, it was one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done.  I doubt I'll ever do it again (unless ordered to do so).  Perhaps this is now a soft limit?  Anyway, I'd never really felt that I was in the correct frame of mind when I had plans to meet with my Dom, usually because of time restraints and rushing around to make everything "perfect".  Well, one day I had more time than usual and I will admit that I've read a lot about the "correct" submissive positions, so my idea was to be in a totally submissive pose when my Dom arrived.  I was giddy with anticipation.  I prepared everything that I thought we'd need, placed a nice thick comforter on the floor and "assumed" the position (head to the floor, rear in the air sorta thing). When He walked in and saw me, head to the floor, I mean the absolute enviable submissive position ever, He sort of chuckled and walked over to me and asked, "have you been bad"?  I replied with a muffled, "No Sir".  He then asked, "why are you down there then"?  I said "isn't this how Doms prefer their submissives"?  He actually laughed out loud and told me He'll let me know when He requires that position of me and He asked me to get off the floor...easier said than done when you've been in that position for quite a while and the blood flow has slowed.  Suffice it to say, I haven't met Him in that position again, nor has He required it of me.   Expectation:   Way off the chartsExperience: ....especially as He is a Sadist at heart and has a wicked sense of humor to boot.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 12:30:37 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		people who play with everything value nothing but what they can only get for the one time fix  lines become blured between what is real and what is fantasy.  or what is important

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 1:33:23 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Great topic.

Daddy and I have talked a great deal about fantasy vs. reality when we discuss taking things to a new level.  I have told Him things that I find hot in my mind and then we discuss the possibility of those things being totally different in reality.  There have been several things that have been on the other side of what I thought it might be.  Daddy and I were talking about things that I had on my hard limit list when we first started out that are now on my likes, loves, lives for list.

I used to hate the thought of ass play of any kind due to a past bad experience in my nilla life. 
Now, I have found that I not only love it, I ask for Him to do this often, or I just start playing with His tushy and He knows that I want Him to play with mine.  *blushes*

Verbal humiliation was always a hard limit for me because it didn't used to be "play" in my world, it was a nightmare that I lived every day in years past.
With five years of a wonderful relationship behind us, I recently told Daddy that I secretly crave for Him to call me a slut, whore, whatever, because I know that He actually holds me in a place of very high regard, and this is now a safe form of play that I know is not crossed over into the non-play world with Him.  He has "gone there" with me, and it is even hotter than I expected.

Watersports is another thing that was on my hard limit list. 
Recently, Daddy and I have just scratched the surface of this, and so far, it has been ok.  I'm not sure exactly what I will feel at the end of this little adventure, but for now, it's ok.  Nothing hot, nothing horrible.  Just kinda fine.

Things that I have yet to try because the words on paper looked scary to me, are knife play and fire play.  However, watching a few couples at the club recently, doing just these things, have made me want to try them just because they looked so damn sexy. 

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 4:40:07 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i have a big hate for people who do not respect limits of any kind  they are self protection mental mechnism for a purpose 
it is ok to  experment with things never tried but if tried and does not like you can ruin aperson for life.  do the right thing 

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
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