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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 7:14:27 PM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
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Foursomes arent all it's cracked up to be they ruin relationships by jealousy.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 7:19:57 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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Limits can be quite stupid as can be the people who most worry about them, as for ruining a person for life, that's complete bullshit, it can, but so can almost anything, there are people out there who will be struck dead by a peanut, speaking of which, welcome back.

quote:

who else has had expectations go that far above and beyond or disappoint you?

Constantly! We are exploring things that we don't fully understand, you go in with the hot fantasy, like sex on the beach and later realize that sand in your urethra just isn't fun. It also makes a difference in who you are with, BSB and I constantly find new hot things to do with each other than were a turn off with other people but even we find something that we thought would be hot but isn't although at the moment I can't think of one. We are each others little devil sitting on the shoulder whispering bad things to do.

Anyway, it is a heartfelt question, openly asked, it aint dumb!

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/15/2008 9:58:18 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Limits can be quite stupid as can be the people who most worry about them, as for ruining a person for life, that's complete bullshit, it can, but so can almost anything, there are people out there who will be struck dead by a peanut, speaking of which, welcome back.

quote:

who else has had expectations go that far above and beyond or disappoint you?

Constantly! We are exploring things that we don't fully understand, you go in with the hot fantasy, like sex on the beach and later realize that sand in your urethra just isn't fun. It also makes a difference in who you are with, BSB and I constantly find new hot things to do with each other than were a turn off with other people but even we find something that we thought would be hot but isn't although at the moment I can't think of one. We are each others little devil sitting on the shoulder whispering bad things to do.

Anyway, it is a heartfelt question, openly asked, it aint dumb!

pssst... I'm having some very bad thoughts right now...

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 1:20:58 AM

leakylee

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I think the thing that really really exceeded my expectations was knives and breath play. Ever since the first day that I felt a blade on my skin, I have turned nearly into a junkie. Not literally, but close. If I have a vote, I am always for that one. The breathplay scared the beejeebers out of me, but something about that gleeful nasty look staring down into my eyes. All the while the hands just slowly tightening on my throat... YUP.. I was a fan. The two are just so bloody primal.

lee

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 2:57:37 AM

IronBear

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Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie

Foursomes arent all it's cracked up to be they ruin relationships by jealousy.

Being the pedantic sort of bloke I am, I must disagbree with thos statement. Had you stated that foursomes can ruin relationships by jealousy, I may have pass over the comment. However having been oinvolved in quite a number of foursomes in the past, once only have I found a relationship ruined by jealousy or anything else related to the foursome. I have a poly home and both my wife and I (both dominants) will swing atg times either alone or in a three or foursome with selected partners. IKf anything it strengthens our relationship.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 3:49:03 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
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People are more important than activities to me. If something doesn’t work out the way I had hoped, no big deal. Maybe we are conditioned to believe we have to do certain activities in order to experience BDSM fully. I examine that philosophy critically.

There are challenges to keeping excitement in D/s relationships, but we are incredibly better off and our hearts fuller when the relationship with the other person is the cornerstone.

Yes, it’s great to do certain things, but the possibilities become greater for the relationship when effort is poured into the other person. I want to see her develop as a submissive and be there for her when her character causes self examination. I want to see the effects of my domination on her heart.

Slow down and enjoy the gift of BDSM to all of us.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 5:09:27 AM

StormsSlave

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Joined: 2/6/2008
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Coming to grips with the idea that pain felt good was a little bit of a mind bender for me. That one took a solitary walk on a cold day to figure out, I'll tell you. Having come to grips with it...as a matter of fact, embracing it, well, let's just say it's a brand new world out there!

I hope to learn every new thing that I can. There are a few things, which are hard limits, and My Lord avoids them with a big wide berth. Other things, he knows he is pushing the envelope, but I am always aware that if it hasn't been discussed, it will be discussed. My Lord never takes the chance that my submissiveness will lead to his neglect. Otherwise, I'm pretty open to trying just about anything new right now.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 5:52:15 AM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Honest Answer EVERY Fantasy I EVER had did not live up to the Cock Spanking Satisfaction that it inspired.

However things I said NO WAY IN HELL to, like having my Asshole Fingered while getting a blowjob.......

Please excuse the phrase......

FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC

Steel

I liked this response Steel, reason being, many closed minded men to anything rectal, I think, has to go back to the MD yearly physical.

For all the experience my Sir had had before he met me, he had never allowed himself the pleasure of anything anal.
He told me I blew his mind ! He had no idea that my "expertise" on his ass, with finger and tongue was as pleasureable as my throat and tongue on his cock.

I think sometimes folk have limits and dont even realize it.

Sir's devoted property

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 7:41:28 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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I thought wax would be boring but I loved it. Unfortunately he thought it would be interesting and he found it boring. Probably because he likes response out of me and it put me in a spacy state where I was all limp and happy and totally nonresponsive until he started picking bits off of me. He doesn't like me to space out because I don't respond in that shape.

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 7:57:35 AM

kallisto

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Although it's hard, I try not to let my expectations get out of control. A few times the end result was less than my expectations but the experience of getting there (the connection I had with my Dom, the learning experience of getting there) seemed to outweigh the less than desired end result of the act. (I think I said that the way I wanted to)

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 8:41:07 AM

lronitulstahp

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Joined: 10/17/2007
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quote:

People are more important than activities to me.

i agree...and in that way, i have had experiences with PEOPLE that were much less than i anticipated. There are some who seem to be knowledgable, and comaptable...and then over time after meeting in person, talking(occasionally fucking)you start to see that your ideals are sorely disparite. To me THAT is much more disappointing than finding out how boring a 69 really is...

< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 3/16/2008 8:52:09 AM >

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 9:15:44 AM

HerLord

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Joined: 2/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

I have played with a good number of people, I knew that eventually I would play with a woman that needed permission to cum, and I was not sure how the experence would be, honestly I thought I hated the idea of orgasm controll. well once I had the experience I was hooked. The look on her face while she is so close to orgasm makes me wonder why I dreaded the experence.

On the other hand (almost literally) an activity that I thought I would love, fisting, seemed less than my expectations, not to say I did not enjoy the experence, but it did not live up to what I had in my head.

who else has had expections go that far above and beyond or disapoint you?

Thanks for putting up with the stupid questions...
Phin

Sorry to post before checking for redundancy but I just wanted to put in I like the "stupid" question. Should be a good read.
*slides to back of room lurking in the shadows to read the pages*

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RE: expectations vs. the experience - 3/16/2008 9:29:07 AM

HerLord

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

I have played with a good number of people, I knew that eventually I would play with a woman that needed permission to cum, and I was not sure how the experence would be, honestly I thought I hated the idea of orgasm controll. well once I had the experience I was hooked.

Thanks for putting up with the stupid questions...
Phin

While I do not often excercize this type of control, I have found this to be extraordinarily inspiring for My Love. This above the rest seems to leave her fully exhausted. I have found that using this as an intermediary delay heightens individual responses. We have made it "routine" for her to request "permission" within specific scenario's.

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