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Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:54:47 AM   
Leatherist


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Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I seem to notice a lot of exagerated stereotypes here when it comes to sex and roles-has anyone else seen this?

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:55:47 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		How do you mean? Uber domly Doms and girly subs?

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:56:23 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		im a girl and a sub. so am I a girly sub?

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:57:36 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
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Status: offline 		There seem to be a lot of expectations tied to both. Some of which seem absurd.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:58:29 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
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From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Yes. Almost like a form of over compensation although I don't know why it would be important to do so on an internet arena.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:59:12 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		To the extent that the expectations remove the individual, yes I can see that. However, when you come to know the individual, it seems to me there is less of an assumed or projected "role," and more of a personality.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 11:59:44 AM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

Yes. Almost like a form of over compensation although I don't know why it would be important to do so on an internet arena.


Perhaps an attempt to justify kink by eleavting it to some higher form of what it feels judged by-ie-vanilla?

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:00:59 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

To the extent that the expectations remove the individual, yes I can see that. However, when you come to know the individual, it seems to me there is less of an assumed or projected "role," and more of a personality.


But many people become so hung on on the stereotypes,that it is all they judge by. The individual only becomes of importance in supporting the fantasy construct.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:05:34 PM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I seem to notice a lot of exagerated stereotypes here when it comes to sex and roles-has anyone else seen this?


You only seem to notice???.... wow.... I would think it as obvious as getting hit with a 2x4 cross the head.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:07:27 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I think it depends who you talk to, everyone likes a good old fantasy (brief moment to shut my eyes) but if you ask those IN relationships they are living the reality, I sometimes read posts and think, ok seriously are you looking for a sub of the year badge, but if thats what they genuinely think then fair enough, im quite happy in my reality of rows, dirty socks and well humanity really. 

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:07:54 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I think some people think that in order to BE a Master/Dom/Sub/WtfEver, they have to act in a certain way.

The silliness in enforced by others "Correcting" them if they do not fit in the little niche.

I dunno... just my 2 cents. :D

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:08:40 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I dig playing with and exaggerating my gender stereotype.  Sometimes, it's hot to play the innocent, ultra girly damsel in distress.  The absurd expectations come into play when we forget the other person is a human being.  He doesn't expect me to fit that stereotype 24/7.


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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:10:30 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		changed and gone.. because it just sounded dumb to me..

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 3/14/2008 12:15:20 PM >

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:12:05 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

To the extent that the expectations remove the individual, yes I can see that. However, when you come to know the individual, it seems to me there is less of an assumed or projected "role," and more of a personality.


But many people become so hung on on the stereotypes,that it is all they judge by. The individual only becomes of importance in supporting the fantasy construct.


There is also the fact that perspective gets lost when talking about the kink or relationships aspects. Often people over romanticize themselves/their relationships in cyber land, often subconsciously.

But often what gets lost is how regular life and time frames are not factored into things when people read into what others are communicating. They can often imagine a person describing their life as 24/7 play and high intense emotions. Some then feel the need to trash their false image they read into and some feel the need to compete with the idealized image.



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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:14:19 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I seem to notice a lot of exagerated stereotypes here when it comes to sex and roles-has anyone else seen this?


You only seem to notice???.... wow.... I would think it as obvious as getting hit with a 2x4 cross the head.


I know,it was just a lame attempt to be tactful-for once.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:17:41 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		But that wouldn't fit your stereotype? Or your personality...

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:19:11 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

But that wouldn't fit your stereotype? Or your personality...


See? Conforming to the expectations of others simply doesn't pan out. Especially when we end up lying to ourselves.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:36:36 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		It was kind of a joke. Haha..ha.....ha.

Okay, I'll ask something that is not going to be popular with everyone: would you say that these stereotypes donned by some are more prevalent among the young and the noob? The older I get the more me I am...whereas at one time I aspired to be just like others, in a particular group that allowed me anonymity--not having to stick my neck out-- and safety because the rules are rather known and rather simplified.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:38:49 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

It was kind of a joke. Haha..ha.....ha.

Okay, I'll ask something that is not going to be popular with everyone: would you say that these stereotypes donned by some are more prevalent among the young and the noob? The older I get the more me I am...whereas at one time I aspired to be just like others, in a particular group that allowed me anonymity--not having to stick my neck out-- and safety because the rules are rather known and rather simplified.


I'm too old and jaded not to take risks these days. Herds are for sheep-I'd rather live as a wolf.

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RE: Exagerated stereotypes? - 3/14/2008 12:39:55 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		im 21 and a relative noob, do i fit it? do i? i wanna know

Ive seen it in lots of people, younger and older, and new and not so new. The uber Domliness especially in older men


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