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The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:23:52 AM

LATEXBABY64

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Sense we are all part of this grand lifestyle in someway shape or form. I want you for a moment pretend you are not and be nilla. now imagen working with someone who comes up to you and starts talking about how they had a wonderful flogging last week or played at a dungeon. What would you think how would you react to this person. remeber you are nilla you never have even heard the word domme lol

Post #: 1

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:26:20 AM

DiurnalVampire

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Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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ASide from wondering why ths person wants to share something thaht personal with me out of the blue, Id be curous to learn what on earth they saw in it. Thats more or less what my intro was anyway, though I heard about how much my mentor enjoyed beating someone else who was handcuffed to a wooden pony at a local club. Not every reaction should or would be negative, after all.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 2

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:31:23 AM

crouchingtigress

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From: Maui
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i would be shocked, then confused, then curious.

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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 3

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:37:41 AM

lally3

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Joined: 3/4/2008
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hard to imagine to be honest.... im thinking of a time i was in the pub after work with a small group of vanillas and one of the girls started talking about how her boyfriend handcuffed her to the bed and spanked her. i just remember thinking, 'lucky bitch', i do also remember thinking, 'how wierd to be talking about something so private' since we hardly knew each other.

the other people who were not so wired looked embarrassed and clearly had no response, they just giggled nervously and struck up some inane conversation, shoes probably, i dont remember, i was still fantasising about being handcuffed to a bed and being spanked.

lally.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 4

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:38:24 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
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hrmm..pretend im not kinky..ok...umm..

I reckon Id feel a bit of jealousy, just a twinge inside that someone has obviously experienced something that I hadn't. Maybe jealousy isnt the right word..but I do get niggles inside when I hear about strange or unusual experiences in life that I havent had...guess thats been a motivating factor to explore in lots of areas of my life.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 5

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:45:30 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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I don't see any difference between BDSMer and non - only levels of kinkiness.
If it was a close friend, I would listen and just chat about it like anything else.
If it was a complete stranger or someone I barely knew, I would say - great, but I dont know you. Have fun though.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 6

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:46:17 AM

LilMissHaven

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Joined: 12/19/2007
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Honestly, I find it kind of ironic that the ones to share such personal experiances tend to be 'nilla's not lifestyler's. In fact rarely do I share past experiances with anyone. My friends have this misguided notion that I'm a virginal saint *innocently blinks* Only when a friend gets carried away about their own sexual interactions do I move in for the kill and shock value by sharing a piece of my own experiance. I do so love shocking people senseless.

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

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Post #: 7

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:46:48 AM

thetammyjo

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I really don't need to put myself in a vanilla's shoes cause vanilla do this sort of stuff all time: brag about their sex lives or complain about the lack of it.

Luckily in academia I haven't found it to be very common to share sort of thing with your colleagues and certainly not your students. However Fox tells me that in his office environment he is often annoyed at how much people talk about sex instead of doing their bloody work. He shows them respect by not talking about his private life and I agree with him that they should show him the same respect.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

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And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 8

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:55:29 AM

Justme696

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Sense we are all part of this grand lifestyle in someway shape or form. I want you for a moment pretend you are not and be nilla. now imagen working with someone who comes up to you and starts talking about how they had a wonderful flogging last week or played at a dungeon. What would you think how would you react to this person. remeber you are nilla you never have even heard the word domme lol

Aren't we all nilla anyway? (at least partly..because most of the world we move in is nilla)

to answer your question. I would say...what ever makes you happy...enjoy it ;)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 9

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 7:56:15 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

I feel everyone is kinky to some level or other, it is just that those of a public community, have come out from under their rock. Why else would furry handcuffs and whips be sold in mainstream high street shops, over here, a well known greetings card shop.

Before I burst free of my rock, I was nilla, like everyone else I thought, but with desires I kept hidden thinking them abnormal, a work colleague was different, but different in an interesting way, what I now recognise as kinky and open with it, always making things in the company workshops, yet more interest.

But as I say, perhaps I was kinky but did not know it all the time, as I suspect most are.

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 10

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 8:03:33 AM

SubbieOnWheels

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Joined: 12/14/2007
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I've actually had it happen to me. And I was nilla at the time.

I was working in San Francisco, so you can imagine that the sexuality in the office was pan-spectrum. I had absolutely no clue - about much of anything at that time; in fact I was still a virgin. There was a woman who made no secret of the fact that she was lesbian, and she took the fact that I had a female roommate as a certain sign that I was lesbian, too. So she would wink and smile at me across the lunchroom. I would smile nervously and become very interested in my bologna sandwich. Then one day she sat at my table. (Oh, God, where can I look now?) She pulled up her pant legs to display dark bruises and said, "Look what my girlfriend gave me last night!" I gulped down a half-chewed bit of sandwich, grabbed my soda and washed down the sandwich, and wheezed out something like, "Oh, my - hmmm, *ahem* - *kaff* - *kaff*" I picked up my lunch and moved to another table.

A few months later I found out what the big deal was, but I made my boyfriend promise that I wouldn't have bruises. I didn't want to brag like she did.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 11

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 8:22:04 AM

velvetears

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i would be annoyed if they were not a close friend. i don't like people assuming they can chat about personal stuff when i don't know them well or connect with them on some level.

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Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

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Post #: 12

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 8:54:28 AM

verysweet

Posts: 128
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
... now imagen working with someone who comes up to you and starts talking about how they had a wonderful flogging last week or played at a dungeon. What would you think how would you react to this person. remeber you are nilla you never have even heard the word domme lol

I'd probably be thinking, "What is it with some people who have no inner monologue? I really don't understand why some folks blather on about intrinsically personal things regardless of the setting." I'd be more shocked about their lack of discretion than I would be about the topic at hand.

If they were a friend, because I take an interest in them, I'd wait until we were in a more relaxed setting and strike up a dialogue about it. If it was simply a work colleague and it piqued my curiousity, I'd go home and research it -- just as I do other things I'm unaware of.

_____________________________

Poetry in devotion.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 13

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 10:27:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I'd think this person needed to get some healthy boundaries. Telling the entire world, who are totally uninterested, about her sex life shows that she has problems. Healthy people don't push their private life on people unwillingly. Those that do, usually have some issues driving them, and those issues have nothing to do with being kinky or not.

The need to shock people? Comes from family of origin stuff, winning an argument by making the other person speechless. Also shows a lot of anger, trying to control others without admitting it, by doing things so offensive they turn away.

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Post #: 14

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 10:46:47 AM

camille65

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Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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My first response would probably be to ask if they were okay, especially if the connection between kink=fun=yum wasn't familiar to me.

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~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 15

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 12:54:36 PM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

If I were vanilla, I'd still likely be very open-minded. However, there are some things I'm really not interested in hearing about. If I had a kinky friend, I'd like to get a general sense of what they did, ascertain that they were in a healthy relationship, and then never want to hear about the bedroom stuff again.
I had an opposite situation like that today. One of the students I was working with is writing a paper on "-philias". He was joking about them, and was talking about zelophilia (arousal from jealousy). He was asking how anyone could be into that, and I had to bite my tongue so hard to keep from explaining it to him.

< Message edited by katie978 -- 3/11/2008 12:56:14 PM >

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 16

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 12:56:50 PM

Lumus

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J'excuse, je ne parle pas Anglais.

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I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to katie978)

Post #: 17

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 1:03:35 PM

ProlificNeeds

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Joined: 5/19/2007
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I'd probably be a bit put off by being informed so openly about some strangers private sexual interludes.

(in reply to Lumus)

Post #: 18

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 2:57:42 PM

Padriag

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Joined: 3/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

What would you think how would you react to this person.

Probably about the same way I do now... I'd think they were a little nuts and laugh it off. It simply isn't my habit to discuss my sex life or private life with my employees and generally they don't do so with me (though a few have asked me for advice on various private topics... nobody told me being the boss also meant becoming a father figure???

). On the other hand, a couple of them know a bit about that particular aspect of my life and they joke with me about it. Admittedly, it is funny to have your employee's refer to you as Master... weird... but funny.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 19

RE: The other persons shoes - 3/11/2008 3:15:34 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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I agree with velvetears...

That almost violating someones mind if you don`t know them well.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 20

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