The other persons shoes (Full Version)

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LATEXBABY64 -> The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:23:52 AM)

Sense we are all  part of this grand lifestyle in someway  shape or form. I want you for a moment pretend you are not and be nilla.  now imagen working with someone who comes up to you and starts talking about how they had a wonderful flogging  last week or played at a dungeon.  What would you think how would you react to this person.  remeber you are nilla you never have even heard the word domme  lol



DiurnalVampire -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:26:20 AM)

ASide from wondering why ths person wants to share something thaht personal with me out of the blue, Id be curous to learn what on earth they saw in it. Thats more or less what my intro was anyway, though I heard about how much my mentor enjoyed beating someone else who was handcuffed to a wooden pony at a local club.  Not every reaction should or would be negative, after all. 



crouchingtigress -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:31:23 AM)

i would be shocked, then confused, then curious.



lally3 -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:37:41 AM)

hard to imagine to be honest.... im thinking of a time i was in the pub after work with a small group of vanillas and one of the girls started talking about how her boyfriend handcuffed her to the bed and spanked her.  i just remember thinking, 'lucky bitch', i do also remember thinking, 'how wierd to be talking about something so private' since we hardly knew each other.

the other people who were not so wired looked embarrassed and clearly had no response, they just giggled nervously and struck up some inane conversation, shoes probably, i dont remember, i was still fantasising about being handcuffed to a bed and being spanked.

lally. 



slavejali -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:38:24 AM)

hrmm..pretend im not kinky..ok...umm..

I reckon Id feel a bit of jealousy, just a twinge inside that someone has obviously experienced something that I hadn't. Maybe jealousy isnt the right word..but I do get niggles inside when I hear about strange or unusual experiences in life that I havent had...guess thats been a motivating factor to explore in lots of areas of my life.



RCdc -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:45:30 AM)

I don't see any difference between BDSMer and non - only levels of kinkiness.
If it was a close friend, I would listen and just chat about it like anything else.
If it was a complete stranger or someone I barely knew, I would say - great, but I dont know you.  Have fun though.
 
the.dark.



LilMissHaven -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:46:17 AM)

Honestly, I find it kind of ironic that the ones to share such personal experiances tend to be 'nilla's not lifestyler's.  In fact rarely do I share past experiances with anyone.  My friends have this misguided notion that I'm a virginal saint *innocently blinks*   Only when a friend gets carried away about their own sexual interactions do I move in for the kill and shock value by sharing a piece of my own experiance.  I do so love shocking people senseless.



thetammyjo -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:46:48 AM)

I really don't need to put myself in a vanilla's shoes cause vanilla do this sort of stuff all time: brag about their sex lives or complain about the lack of it.

Luckily in academia I haven't found it to be very common to share sort of thing with your colleagues and certainly not your students. However Fox tells me that in his office environment he is often annoyed at how much people talk about sex instead of doing their bloody work. He shows them respect by not talking about his private life and I agree with him that they should show him the same respect.



Justme696 -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:55:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Sense we are all  part of this grand lifestyle in someway  shape or form. I want you for a moment pretend you are not and be nilla.  now imagen working with someone who comes up to you and starts talking about how they had a wonderful flogging  last week or played at a dungeon.  What would you think how would you react to this person.  remeber you are nilla you never have even heard the word domme  lol



Aren't we all nilla anyway? (at least partly..because most of the world we move in is nilla)

to answer your question. I would say...what ever makes you happy...enjoy it ;)



Aneirin -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 7:56:15 AM)

I feel everyone is kinky to some level or other, it is just that those of a public community, have come out from under their rock. Why else would furry handcuffs and whips be sold in mainstream high street shops, over here, a well known greetings card shop.

Before I burst free of my rock, I was nilla, like everyone else I thought, but with desires I kept hidden thinking them abnormal, a work colleague was different, but different in an interesting way, what I now recognise as kinky and open with it, always making things in the company workshops, yet more interest.

But as I say, perhaps I was kinky but did not know it all the time, as I suspect most are.



SubbieOnWheels -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 8:03:33 AM)

I've actually had it happen to me. And I was nilla at the time.

I was working in San Francisco, so you can imagine that the sexuality in the office was pan-spectrum. I had absolutely no clue - about much of anything at that time; in fact I was still a virgin. There was a woman who made no secret of the fact that she was lesbian, and she took the fact that I had a female roommate as a certain sign that I was lesbian, too. So she would wink and smile at me across the lunchroom. I would smile nervously and become very interested in my bologna sandwich. Then one day she sat at my table. (Oh, God, where can I look now?) She pulled up her pant legs to display dark bruises and said, "Look what my girlfriend gave me last night!" I gulped down a half-chewed bit of sandwich, grabbed my soda and washed down the sandwich, and wheezed out something like, "Oh, my - hmmm, *ahem* - *kaff* - *kaff*" I picked up my lunch and moved to another table.

A few months later I found out what the big deal was, but I made my boyfriend promise that I wouldn't have bruises. I didn't want to brag like she did.



velvetears -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 8:22:04 AM)

i would be annoyed if they were not a close friend. i don't like people assuming they can chat about personal stuff when i don't know them well or connect with them on some level. 



verysweet -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 8:54:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
... now imagen working with someone who comes up to you and starts talking about how they had a wonderful flogging  last week or played at a dungeon.  What would you think how would you react to this person.  remeber you are nilla you never have even heard the word domme  lol

I'd probably be thinking, "What is it with some people who have no inner monologue?  I really don't understand why some folks blather on about intrinsically personal things regardless of the setting."  I'd be more shocked about their lack of discretion than I would be about the topic at hand.

If they were a friend, because I take an interest in them, I'd wait until we were in a more relaxed setting and strike up a dialogue about it.  If it was simply a work colleague and it piqued my curiousity, I'd go home and research it -- just as I do other things I'm unaware of. 




DesFIP -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 10:27:58 AM)

I'd think this person needed to get some healthy boundaries. Telling the entire world, who are totally uninterested, about her sex life shows that she has problems. Healthy people don't push their private life on people unwillingly. Those that do, usually have some issues driving them, and those issues have nothing to do with being kinky or not.

The need to shock people? Comes from family of origin stuff, winning an argument by making the other person speechless. Also shows a lot of anger, trying to control others without admitting it, by doing things so offensive they turn away.



camille65 -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 10:46:47 AM)

My first response would probably be to ask if they were okay, especially if the connection between kink=fun=yum wasn't familiar to me.



katie978 -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 12:54:36 PM)

   If I were vanilla, I'd still likely be very open-minded. However, there are some things I'm really not interested in hearing about. If I had a kinky friend, I'd like to get a general sense of what they did, ascertain that they were in a healthy relationship, and then never want to hear about the bedroom stuff again.
  I had an opposite situation like that today. One of the students I was working with is writing a paper on "-philias". He was joking about them, and was talking about zelophilia (arousal from jealousy). He was asking how anyone could be into that, and I had to bite my tongue so hard to keep from explaining it to him.



Lumus -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 12:56:50 PM)

J'excuse, je ne parle pas Anglais.




ProlificNeeds -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 1:03:35 PM)

I'd probably be a bit put off by being informed so openly about some strangers private sexual interludes.



Padriag -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 2:57:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

What would you think how would you react to this person.

Probably about the same way I do now... I'd think they were a little nuts and laugh it off.  It simply isn't my habit to discuss my sex life or private life with my employees and generally they don't do so with me (though a few have asked me for advice on various private topics... nobody told me being the boss also meant becoming a father figure??? [8|]).  On the other hand, a couple of them know a bit about that particular aspect of my life and they joke with me about it.  Admittedly, it is funny to have your employee's refer to you as Master... weird... but funny. [8D]



ThundersCry -> RE: The other persons shoes (3/11/2008 3:15:34 PM)

I agree with velvetears...
 
That almost violating someones mind if you don`t know them well.
 
 



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