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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/11/2008 1:39:59 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

There's nothing humorous about getting a giant vibrator stuck up your arse when the bit with the battery drops off and you're fingers won't get up that far.

Actually, it is humorous for the emergency room staff.



NO WAY!!

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/11/2008 2:50:10 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Constrictor1

Steel, congratulations! I have done and seen a lot of things in 14 years, but I have no idea what a "Loopy Johnny" is. Please elucidate?

Constrictor


Most Commonly however there are MANY variations it is a Long handle about 10 to 12 inches long at the end of this handle is a series of loops usually each one extends a full inch beyond the previous so the contact points will hit at different places. The most common Material for the Loops is Rubber coated Speaker wire or Finely, tightly braided dense twine or rope usually no more than a 1/8th inch thick.

The one that I used on myself was made with rubber coated speaker wire. When swung it makes a high pitch swish as it cuts through the air. When it makes contact each loop makes equal yet seperate contact and is akin to the fall contact of a single tail on three of them and all three at the same time.

It HURTS like hell.

And at least for me NOT in a good way.

Steel

This here is the closest thing I can find to what it looked like and this is REALLY close to the actual one I used

http://www.aswgt.com/K050%20Loopy%20Johnny%2004.jpg

< Message edited by SteelofUtah -- 3/11/2008 2:52:35 PM >

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/11/2008 5:28:34 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		This is not a story about me, but something about someone I knew. An important tradesman of my area went into hospital in severe distress, to get some treatment. Unlucky for him, my employer's wife was a nurse there and had recognised him from a trade show. His treatment was to remove a bottle of 'Vosene ' from his ass, which he had apparently accidently sat on in his bathroom. Of course myself and my colleagues got to hear of it and so put a vosene bottle on the shelf of our shop, it being a shop that sold building materials, I am sure he saw it, as his business was lost for a good while.

Another situation was a builder who had to go to hospital to have a curtain ring removed from his member, it had apparently fell from the curtain pole landing square on his pride and joy and there got stuck, the blood build up preventing removal. The hospital, none of their tools were able to cut the ring, the fire service were called to grind off the ring with an electric grinder.From what I was told, a construction angle grinder with a four inch abrasive blade.

I just wondered, why is it always builders I hear about experimenting with pervertibles in private, only to regret their actions.


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/11/2008 6:13:29 PM   
marsman


Posts: 115
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		When I was a new Dom I decided to try and make my own cane. So I got a 4 foot wooden dowel 1/2 inches thick, sanded it down and put some black tape on one end as a hand grip.

My submissive was ecstatic as I used it on her, she was a very heavy pain slut and loved going into an endorphin subspace.

While she was spacing, I didn't know when to stop...and being new I went on way too long.

Wood is "thudy" it does not show a lot of damage on the surface of the skin, but it does cause lots of damage.

And it was more than 3 weeks before I could play with her again.

I learned why people use rattan and not wood to make canes...


< Message edited by marsman -- 3/11/2008 6:17:25 PM >

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/11/2008 8:09:17 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dawn takes grease out of your way!

Picture this:  your 6'5" slave is bound, gagged, blindfolded.  You are now playing with WINTERGREEN oil, since peppermint was fun.  Being Experiential Dominant, you glob a huge amount onto your clit before turning your attentions to the slave, with a nice sable brush. 

Pretty soon, you are Feeling The Effects.  So is he, since all is saying through his gag is a garbled "hawwwrt.  HAHHHT!".  You are doubled over with silent laughter, and pondering what to do.  (and grooving on the SERIOUS heat between your legs!)  Water?  No, that would be erring on the side of Foolish....but the visual is good for a snort.  No, oils dilute other oils.  After going through various lotions, Wesson finally does the job.  He agrees that it was intense, and you spend an hour with an icy rag between your legs.  And about the only deeply funny story of that whole sorry relationship. So it's all good!

YEARS later, Hardy Haberman writes a book and you read about the Dawn dish soap. 


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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/12/2008 5:42:33 PM   
MissMenagerie


Posts: 66
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline 		Oh, dear god! Where to start replying?

SailingBum: I'm a Aries, so there's very little I don't know about fire, but man, good, sound advice.

Magnolia: That makes me want to duct tape all the battery packs onto my vibrators...but the sensation prospects of doing so aren't very appealing.

Morrigan, et all: For wax play, I've always used the cheap tea light candles that come in giant bags at the dollar store. My fire play, while unfortunately limited, has been with wooden matches. Glitter candles sound like a terrible idea.

petdave: Do you know what Kabotas are? They're little utility tractors. I have literally repaired them with gorrilla glue. It's some powerful stuff...I think, at least for now, I'll only be using it in the construction of toys where applicable. Also, I make a point of soap+showering after any oil, cream, paint, wax, or food use...ever rushed off to work with a giant gob of Sex Grease in the crack of your ass? No good.

adrian: Also good advice. Fortunately, with my tiny apartment shower, bathing fun has to be pretty simple so I probably won't come across this.

Madshy: Good call on the stray flamables. We don't have a celing fan, so, easy to avoid the flogging problem. We've also circumnavigated the key issue by using silk rope or harsher sequin belts for most basic bondage.

Muttling: 'Wayward colon missles.' Oh, for the love of insert-non-offensive-diety-here.

Steel: Ferrets, cats, and most other animals are banned from the room whenever sensitive bits are exposed: Check. Our neighbors are just as loud as we are, so no problem there. =) About the smoking pussy...like Woody Allen said, "If you smoke after sex, you're doing it way too fast."

MissHaven: Other bad safewords: No, stop, harder, ow, and zuchini. If you wonder why that last one, try saying 'zuchini' through a ball gag.

Aneirin: It's always builders because construction workers, theater techs, and handymen have access to all the best equiptment. Seriosuly, how many occupational therapists do you know who can put together a spiderweb or 16-square in their spare time?

LadyHibiscus: Thanks for the advice, that's exactly the sort of thing I might have done. Note to self: Dilute mint oils in something less...minty.


(in reply to Constrictor1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/13/2008 11:18:29 PM   
VMistressV


Posts: 78
Joined: 12/29/2007
Status: offline 		OMG WAIT A MINUTE. You can't just poop it out?

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 7:32:42 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

Steel: Ferrets, cats, and most other animals are banned from the room whenever sensitive bits are exposed: Check. Our neighbors are just as loud as we are, so no problem there. =) About the smoking pussy...like Woody Allen said, "If you smoke after sex, you're doing it way too fast."


Actuallly this was in reference to actually setting a Cat on fire during a fire play scene I posted it on another thread if anyone can remember which one post a link for her.

Thanks

Steel

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 8:22:06 AM   
MissMenagerie


Posts: 66
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline 		VMistress: Some things, yes, but a vibrator sans battery back tends to have a sharp edge on the bottom. Read: Potatial serious rectal damage. Personally, I'd rather go tell the ER staff that I put a vibrator up my ass than risk a hemmorage.

Steel: Grinn once saw a fat long-haired cat walk right over a candle. All the hair went up like a tank of gas, leaving the cat unharmed, naked, and VERY surprised.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 8:28:27 AM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMenagerie
Steel: Grinn once saw a fat long-haired cat walk right over a candle. All the hair went up like a tank of gas, leaving the cat unharmed, naked, and VERY surprised.



The visual on this - especially the surprised cat - Had me laughing so hard I almost choked. Reminds me of an acronym from my days on the old GEnie bulletin board system: ROFLASTC - rolling on the floor laughing and scaring the cat.

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 8:36:54 AM   
MissMenagerie


Posts: 66
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline 		I try never to scare my current cat. He's huge, and...hungry. I fear for my toes.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 10:04:52 AM   
Tannie


Posts: 134
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		A buddy and I were in a really hyper mood and started playfighting (one of my favorite activities), using random objects to "attack" each other as we wrestled  He went too far and picked up a lit stick of incense, yelled "FIREPLAY", and brought it down lit end first on my arm.  The ember sank into my skin, was put out in a moment, and the stick of incense was left standing up in my arm.  I was able to pull it out and clean the tiny wound with no problem, and I still have the scar.  Oddly, it didn't hurt one bit.

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 10:08:49 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMenagerie

I try never to scare my current cat. He's huge, and...hungry. I fear for my toes.


I remeber one of my sisters having a retarded cat that stared at lit candles from half and inch away-it's whiskers on it's face and above the eyes were singed off...she had to stop using candles. I think it was also the one that fell into the full bathtub, and clawed it's way up her body to escape. It sort of dissapeared one day-she won't talk about it.

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 3/14/2008 10:14:51 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMenagerie

Finally settled in quite happily with my Master and Fiance, I find myself looking around the house while He's at work and grinning evilly, rubbing my hands together. It's True! My brain cries, Everything is a Toy!
BUT before I start in with the Gorrilla glue and duct tape,  destroying the curtain rods, I wanted to ask all of you guys and dolls if you had any tales of caution. Fire-cupping explosions to avoid? Things that a matress should structurally be able to take but can't?
Please, please, please, share the potentially humorous, and help me (and others) avoid the Pervertables of Doom.

PLEASE, PLEASE ,PLEASE!!!!!
Believe it when they say your best toys are at the end of you wrists..your hands!!!  It cost me $1500 before I learned THAT lesson.
 
But I know what you are asking.. clothes lines, wooden spoons, and a water pic are interesting :)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 3/14/2008 10:15:14 AM >

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RE: Failed Perversions? - 4/4/2008 2:53:34 PM   
RadioPagan


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/6/2006
From: Lansing, MI
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: madshysoul
Rubbing alcohol at room temperature can roll down the body without being noticed by the victim. Fire in places it doesn't belong is ouch.


Geee I wonder How that happened.......

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Failed Perversions? - 4/4/2008 3:22:09 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I work in a hospital - while in the er I found out that pickle bottles frequently jump up mens arses. And are so comfortable there that they don't want to come out.  Ditto for potatoes.
I also found out that fracturing a penis might be fun in the doing, but the men don't appreciate the aftereffects.
And wooden butt plugs can go in a little too far and not come out without surgery.  I love the "do-it-yourself" ethos, but sometimes buying them is cheaper in the long run!  Besides, how do you clean wood effectively?

Somnetimes, just because you can, doesn't mean that you should!

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Failed Perversions? - 4/4/2008 3:53:33 PM   
underhisthumb


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/19/2008
Status: offline 		Ive had a similar wintergreen experience, only it was with cinnamon pocket strips, ya know the Listerine ones?  Master definitely did NOT like that sensation on His penis when I was trying out various ummm. . . "oral enhancements".  Never again!

Also, there are some things that should NEVER be used as a lube.  Hair conditioner is def one of them. . .!

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Failed Perversions? - 4/4/2008 4:24:29 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Just remember... first it's rape, then pilliage, THEN burn. In that order.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Failed Perversions? - 4/4/2008 4:59:22 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMenagerie

I try never to scare my current cat. He's huge, and...hungry. I fear for my toes.

Whew, know what you mean there.  I used to have one that would bite my ankles when I spent too much time doing homework.  I had slippers on so he couldn't get my toes!

thornhappy

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Failed Perversions? - 4/4/2008 5:11:55 PM   
Redoubt


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		Just because you can eat it afterwards, don't underestimate how bad a slim jim snack (the foot long ones) can hurt. Even through jeans. *evil grin*

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Profile   Post #: 40
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