RE: The person in the Domme

RE: The person in the Domme (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/8/2008 5:06:28 PM)
That's the major complaint most subs have. All those interchangeable 'kneel bitch' letters. They don't bother to ask if you actually can kneel or for how long. The one quality about me that has been most helpful in getting and maintaining a d/s relationship? I know myself very well. I know what I must have and what I will not tolerate. Knowing who I am, and accepting myself, were essential to finding someone else who would like me as I am.

Griswold -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/8/2008 5:25:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I had quite a bit of time to waste on CM today. It's something that I do every once in a while, when all I want to do is focus on those things other than work, paying bills, being responsible for everyone else, and just be Myself. I started a thread eariler today about a recurring theme that I kept typing up about not being interested in doing things by phone. It turned out to be a good thread, to Me anyway. Still there was another comment from Myself that kept coming back over and over. More often than not, I find certain answers are almost universal to various questions. One of these being that I am a person first, and then a Domme. It goes hand in hand with My often said that My lifestyle is part of My life. I can't have the first without the latter. Should tomorrow, I give up the play, the leather, the toys in the bag, I would still be Me. Those who don't know Me might not necessarily think that's a huge deal, but for Me, it is. For those in My life, I tend to think it is. In some small way, I also tend to think it matters to those folks who meet Me after noticing Me on the boards. I'll never forget being at a major event last year, and hearing a particular sub female shriek, "Oh my Gd. That's Lady Pact!" Yet, the compliment that I appreciate most isn't that people know Me. It isn't even on My style of play. The best compliment that I receive, is that I'm approachable. Anyone can talk to Me just like they can talk to anyone else. I've heard, once in a while, that I scare some folks, but that's only until they say hello and strike up a conversation with Me. Enough of the manifesto. The question is this: What is your most human quality and how does it co-mingle in the world of BDSM? Well, I actually did read all* of the above....and I have to say, while I contemplated every bit of it...I suddenly looked to my left (the section of my computer shelf that I rarely pay attention to), and it dawned on me.... I have at least 75 - 3x5 floppy disks that I have nothing to put them in. I bet I have all kinds of extremely important shit....that I have absolutely no ability to access. (I bet it's important shit too).

msterfixer -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/8/2008 7:26:24 PM)
My most human quality is that I desire, Every human has some sort of desire. It is the want and the need that connects us all. Some of use are just more inclined to act upon our desires. Some just need to be desired. I am not afraid to admit that I desire to be desired.

stella41b -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/8/2008 8:05:26 PM)
I'm frequently told it's my 'inner beauty', which can either mean my Soul or personality, some have mentioned my humanity and compassion, and a few have told me they admire me for my inner strength and resilience. I cannot give a one-size-fits-all answer here as different people perceive me differently. However my personality does tend to give me all I need in life. If there was anything I guess it would be my knowledge that everyone wants to be treated as if they were special and I do my best to indulge them in this, sharing openly my honesty, charm, grace, warmth, intelligence and understanding and making that effort to make them feel special and relaxed in my company. A few times I'm told my online persona matches exactly the reality of me, I don't perceive BDSM as a separate entity or a 'lifestyle' but a classification of hundreds of different varieties of human interaction and relationships exhibiting a broad spectrum of interpersonal activities, concepts and rituals. I just see people, humans, people being themselves and doing what they enjoy with other people.

LadyPact -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/8/2008 8:31:12 PM)
I've really appreciated all of the replies here. They have been great to read.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/8/2008 11:05:07 PM)
When I walk into a room full of people and I have no reason to be there (i.e. I'm teaching or otherwise in control), I am terribly shy. I don't say much and I just kinda watch people. In the lifestyle, it has a wide range of affects from the assumption that I'm submissive to I'm stuck-up with "hey, lets talk to her" falling somewhere in the middle and rarely hit. But, it has that affect outside of the lifestyle, too, although the submissive part isn't hit often. I also am pretty sensitive and can self doubt a lot. This makes me question myself a lot, but it actually rarely makes me change my mind. At least I don't think it does. Hmm...wait...maybe it does. ;-) Master Fire

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/9/2008 9:33:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Those who don't know Me might not necessarily think that's a huge deal, but for Me, it is. For those in My life, I tend to think it is. In some small way, I also tend to think it matters to those folks who meet Me after noticing Me on the boards. I'll never forget being at a major event last year, and hearing a particular sub female shriek, "Oh my Gd. That's Lady Pact!" The concept of identity is a big one. There are women who cry at getting their hair cut because they make it such an integral part of who they are, that they mourn its loss and feel like a different person when it's gone. I'd still be the core concept of "me" even if I never watched another movie again, but I certainly wouldn't be the same "me" as I am now and it might be a big adjustment for people who have come to know me to get to know the "new me." I'm not really a "person first, dom second." It's much more that "I am a person, AND that person happens to have an orientation of a switch." quote:* What is your most human quality and how does it co-mingle in the world of BDSM? Do I have any qualities that do not co-mingle into the kink world? I am who I am, always. I may simply express it differently.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/9/2008 9:35:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie This is why I receive skepticism and criticism from some, because I am not prone to "protect myself from him" because he is my Master and doesn't need protection from. This is why he takes great care in his use of me, because he knows my instinctive response to him as his slave is likely to kick in before any "human instinct." My confusion always comes when people start to talk about jealousy and polyamory- as if jealousy doesn't occur all the time in just as bad a way in monogamy? I think people just hold onto something they feel they CAN control and an issue they HAVE become aware of and try to protect themselves from it, and thus for them it becomes a singular context issue. When the reality is anything but.

Goddess2002 -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 3:17:24 AM)
I am very maternal by nature...which might seem strange as a Domme. My slave responds very well to it, though, as he knows without doubt how much he's cared for.

LadyHathor -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 7:29:08 AM)
quote: What is your most human quality and how does it co-mingle in the world of BDSM? wow, a soul searcher--I think My greatest human quality is being who I am, I have great humanity--as has been said before, I see people as inidividuals, not as group or classes--and every person stands an equal chance with Me--add to that My ability as a natural leader--it isn't this " ok now people, let's get together and put on a play"--it's just the ability to stay the course, to make the tough decisions and to tend to the flock as they say--individually or collectively. That is just who I am, its all intertwined into the whole. *With out the whips, the floggers, the manifestations, I am still moi.*

Dnomyar -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 7:54:05 AM)
I guess that Im more like Wickad. Domiguy is an amature. I have fucked more than a few.

gypsygrl -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 10:25:45 AM)
quote: What is your most human quality and how does it co-mingle in the world of BDSM? My most human quality? I'm fragile. Nothing more than some rough assemblage of blood, skin and bone held together with bubble gum and scotch tape. I'm a sloppy collection of faults and accidents, a life narrative of false starts and miss-hits. I break easy. Sometimes I'm nice, empathetic and understanding. Other times, I'm bitter and uncaring. I get scared. I hide. I make mistakes. I screw up. I fall down. I get back up only to fall down again. Sometimes, I get hurt and want to cry (but I almost never do). And how does this co-mingle with the world of bdsm? I dunno. Its the 'me' I bring to the table, I guess.

Dnomyar -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 10:52:22 AM)
Sends gypsygrl some super glue. Works better than bubble gum.

gypsygrl -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 1:04:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Sends gypsygrl some super glue. Works better than bubble gum. smiles Thank you.

aidan -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 1:56:54 PM)
This reminds me of something I've been ruminating on the past few days. When I'm really attracted to somebody, it's not because of their clothes or their makeup or their Dommely attitude when they're all toppy and turned-on. I mean, yes, those things do help, I'd be lying if I said they didn't. Only human and what-not. But what really engages me is what they're like when they're just left alone, when they're just being themselves. If a person's really dominant, that'll come through without airs and accoutrements. When a person isn't trying, they just are, that's when their most beautiful and attractive. (No woman's ever believed me when I've told them they're gorgeous first thing in the morning) I think that's the "human quality" that comes out for me in BDSM. I'm not really trying to be anything and reacting to the situation naturally and fluidly. That, and playfullness. I am a giddy, happy little thing.

KindLadyGrey -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 2:15:12 PM)
Two things come to mind about my humanity in relation to BDSM. The first is that I am a novelty seeker. I learn quickly and am easily bored, so I am always looking for something interesting. I tend to be the sort of person who will try just about anything once. This opens up a lot of spheres of experience for me, not just in BDSM, but also in life in general. This quality is pretty much how I ended up getting into the lifestyle in the first place ("hey, this looks interesting, let's check it out!") and why I ended up identifying as a switch. The second is that I am really silly and geeky. This tends to be a disconnect for a lot of subs looking for a somewhat more dignified Domme: What do you mean you dress up and pretend to be a fairy? Who is Neil Stephenson? What the hell does "kaplah" mean? What's shiny? You want to transcribe the Jabberwocky onto my cock in tiny letters with a fine tip sharpie? subbie starts backing away slowly Fortunately, there is enough geek representation in this community that I rarely feel like this quality is a negative. And while my silliness may impede my gravitas in the bedroom, I am a lot of fun at parties ;)

cjan -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 2:28:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I guess that Im more like Wickad. Domiguy is an amature. I have fucked more than a few. With all due respect, dude, Domiguy is a lot funnier than you are. But, not knowing either of you, I mean you no disrespect.. And, by the way, It's spelled "amateur". Correct spelling turns me on.

aidan -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 2:40:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey The second is that I am really silly and geeky. This tends to be a disconnect for a lot of subs looking for a somewhat more dignified Domme: What do you mean you dress up and pretend to be a fairy? Who is Neil Stephenson? What the hell does "kaplah" mean? What's shiny? You want to transcribe the Jabberwocky onto my cock in tiny letters with a fine tip sharpie? subbie starts backing away slowly Sadistic browncoat surrealist-graffito fairies? squees and claps his hands How is that not all kinds of fun to people? The vorpal strap-on went slicker-slack!

ShaktiSama -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 2:44:12 PM)
Vorpal blades go "snicker-snack". And I am extreeeeeeeeeeemely geeky. I also have a somewhat dangerous sense of humor, which never ceases to get me into trouble.

aidan -> RE: The person in the Domme (3/10/2008 2:47:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama Vorpal blades go "snicker-snack". And I am extreeeeeeeeeeemely geeky. I also have a somewhat dangerous sense of humor, which never ceases to get me into trouble. True, vorpal blades. Cause they cut. The vorpal strap-on has more of a thrusting quality to it. [;)] adjusts his glasses And trouble is good. Makes for an exciting life.

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