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ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

My husband and I went shopping this afternoon.  I lost some stones from my wedding/engagement ring and the company I bought it from won't repair or replace it unless I can produce the original receipt.  Yea, right.  Seven years and two moves later, it's not likely but I'll give it a hell of a try.  Anyway, while fighting with the company I've been looking at new rings because it will cost more to repair the old ring than to buy a new one.  Even more to re-set the stones because there are a lot of bagette diamonds which are (I'm told) difficult to find the right size setting for.
I went into another one of those mall jewelry stores today and the young lady started off with a lot of questions about the cane I'm currently using.  Was it an antique?  Her mom collected them of course.  I mentioned my husband and I had been through a lot since we'd been married.  She tried to pry details from me in an effort to forge some sort of bond.  I know the game and I can smell it a mile away when they try it.  On the way home, I mentioned to my husband that she didn't realize she was dealing with a domme.  I say that because my husband and I feel that probably the most important thing to learn about becoming a domme is learning to "read" people.  He mentioned that I wasn't always this way, and when I thought about it I knew he was right.  Years ago I would probably have answered all her questions and she would have known half my life story before I left. 
Now don't get the impression that I was rude to her.  I was very pleasant and she ended up telling me all about herself, her husband, the new harley he bought, the jewelry she bought while working at the store -especially after her husband bought the harley.  LOL  After a while she called the manager over to 'help us look'.  I believe she sensed she wasn't getting anywhere.
I've had this sort of thing happen before and I was just wondering if any of you have.  And no, you certainly don't have to be on the dominant side of the fence to answer this.
Mistress Scarlet

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

My husband and I went shopping this afternoon.  I lost some stones from my wedding/engagement ring and the company I bought it from won't repair or replace it unless I can produce the original receipt.  Yea, right.  Seven years and two moves later, it's not likely but I'll give it a hell of a try.  Anyway, while fighting with the company I've been looking at new rings because it will cost more to repair the old ring than to buy a new one.  Even more to re-set the stones because there are a lot of bagette diamonds which are (I'm told) difficult to find the right size setting for.
I went into another one of those mall jewelry stores today and the young lady started off with a lot of questions about the cane I'm currently using.  Was it an antique?  Her mom collected them of course.  I mentioned my husband and I had been through a lot since we'd been married.  She tried to pry details from me in an effort to forge some sort of bond.  I know the game and I can smell it a mile away when they try it.  On the way home, I mentioned to my husband that she didn't realize she was dealing with a domme.  I say that because my husband and I feel that probably the most important thing to learn about becoming a domme is learning to "read" people.  He mentioned that I wasn't always this way, and when I thought about it I knew he was right.  Years ago I would probably have answered all her questions and she would have known half my life story before I left. 
Now don't get the impression that I was rude to her.  I was very pleasant and she ended up telling me all about herself, her husband, the new harley he bought, the jewelry she bought while working at the store -especially after her husband bought the harley.  LOL  After a while she called the manager over to 'help us look'.  I believe she sensed she wasn't getting anywhere.
I've had this sort of thing happen before and I was just wondering if any of you have.  And no, you certainly don't have to be on the dominant side of the fence to answer this.
Mistress Scarlet

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ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

nope; they're people just like me, and judging by the story you just told, i would have read it more as someone that meant every word they said to you, and then referred you to someone else once they thought they may had crossed a line and offended you.  i also feel that females tend to try to read more into things that aren't really there, such as in your case, though i've been wrong before.

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ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Well, in my case I don't know if the lifestyle has anything to do with it but I handle salespeople waaaay differently than others. I never buy what they are selling. I was taught that a good product for the right price sells itself.

I know the tricks of the trade, and if I were a salesman I probably would have sensed your dominance, and handled you a different way. I would've forgotten about smalltalk and stuck with strictly business. But then that's me.

If he was with you I would not look at you to determine this, I would look at him. Dead giveaway, even without kink. If he were the dominant one, your eyes would flash to his, but float back to mine. This is not always kinky people. In some families the Woman "wears the pants" so to speak, it is not really all that different.

Once you expressed that you would then maybe replace the ring, I would go get about three very similar ones and put them in front of you and asked "Do any of these strike your fancy ma'am ?".

Dominant people have an air about them. It is not magical or anything like that, it is just in the words you choose and the way you use them. Your tone of voice and manner betrays your dominant personality to those who can tell.

For example, does a customer such as you bring out the ring and say "This ring has importance to me", or did they look right in your eyes and say that, and then produce the ring ?

I hate to psychoanalyse people, but you have to in business. I don't sell, I refuse to take a job selling. Maybe if I were starving, but ....... It is not an easy job if you want to be good at it. And there is just about no help. People who are really good at it are naturals, like it is born into them. In a way it is submissiveness if you think about it. Dominant salepeople can succeed as well, although they have to keep that out of it.

Just an opinion, more dominant salespeople do better at selling big things, like houses and tracts of land. This is just personal observation in my little corner of the world.

T

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ORIGINAL: christine1

since realizing i'm submissive and figuring more and more things about myself in that regard, i've become more strong willed in the vanilla world.  finding the sumbissive niche for myself has helped me become more confident and i'm proud of that. 

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

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ORIGINAL: christine1

I completely understand.  I've found that becoming comfortable in my skin and in what's in my head shows as confidence and that confidence is like a magnet for people. 

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ORIGINAL: christine1

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

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ORIGINAL: christine1

I completely understand.  I've found that becoming comfortable in my skin and in what's in my head shows as confidence and that confidence is like a magnet for people. 

someone understands me? 

~~grabs aileens hand...c'mon, let's skip!~~

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet

I went into another one of those mall jewelry stores today and the young lady started off with a lot of questions about the cane I'm currently using.  Was it an antique?  Her mom collected them of course. You say "of course" like you doubt her truthfulness...perhaps she was just interested in something stikingly beautiful..she does work in a jewelery store after all. I mentioned my husband and I had been through a lot since we'd been married.  She tried to pry details from me in an effort to forge some sort of bond. Well  YOU did bring it up by "mentioning that you and your husband had been through alot" ...perhaps she was just attempting to be interested ...why do you immediately assume it was to forge a bond or manipulate your head???? I know the game and I can smell it a mile away when they try it.  ORRRR she could have just been a friendly person who's a bit talkative....I imagine that position ( sales in a mall jewelry strore) is pretty competitive and one needs an edge..perhaps hers is friendliness and getting to know the customer and make them feel individual ( if nothing else)....  On the way home, I mentioned to my husband that she didn't realize she was dealing with a domme. I don't think I understand this comment................??  You were wanting her her treat you a certain way because you have a preference in the role(domme) your have in your chosen relationships???  why would that be important for anyone on the street to understand or detect?????????   I say that because my husband and I feel that probably the most important thing to learn about becoming a domme is learning to "read" people.Interesting...because in my relationship with Tyson > I am his submissive..>> and he says I have quite a knack for reading people...perhaps it isn't limited to the Dtypes  : )  He mentioned that I wasn't always this way, and when I thought about it I knew he was right.  Years ago I would probably have answered all her questions and she would have known half my life story before I left. 
Now don't get the impression that I was rude to her.  I was very pleasant and she ended up telling me all about herself, her husband, the new harley he bought, the jewelry she bought while working at the store -especially after her husband bought the harley.  LOL Sounds like a friendly person who was adding to a conversation YOU kept going, by adding your own tidbits of information. After a while she called the manager over to 'help us look'.  I believe she sensed she wasn't getting anywhere. Probably something she has been instructed to do by her boss, if she feels someone is going to leave without a sale.  Might not have anything to do with her trying to manipulate you.
I've had this sort of thing happen before and I was just wondering if any of you have.  And no, you certainly don't have to be on the dominant side of the fence to answer this.
I had 15 years of customer service work myself.  No, not in a mall store or retail,  and so I cannot relate to her job personally  BUT  I do know it does takes a helpful, friendly, communicative person to be successful at it(customer service work). 

You know the saying>  "walk a mile in my moccassins" ???Perhaps it IS from my years of CSR work, but I do treat people in those positions with extra patience and understanding> they have a tough job sometimes and take alot of flack and pressure from people.  THEY are the ones on the front line and often times when its not "their fault or responsibility" they get front line fire. 

My 21 yr old daughter is like that with waiters or waitresses, having been one herself before she became a Pet Nurse.
SHE is the one who strikes up the casual conversation and asks them "hows your day?"?  gets them to talking.....
Personally, I enjoy  friendliness.  And it really has never crossed my mind that its them trying to manipulate or challenge my dominance...

We all have jobs ( well most of us ) and we all have to find a way to like what we do ( makes having one much easier) ...perhaps that was her way of enjoying her day while she was working...



Mistress Scarlet

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ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet
I've had this sort of thing happen before and I was just wondering if any of you have.  And no, you certainly don't have to be on the dominant side of the fence to answer this.