How many vanillas are actually vanilla?

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How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 2:27:41 PM

defiantbadgirl

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I've found that a large percentage of people I've spoken with both in chatrooms and in real life are fascinated by and have fantasized about bondage and spanking. Many have even done one or both. In fact, I've found that only a very small percentage have no interest and I live in the bible belt. Could it be that vanillas are the ones in the minority?

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 2:29:21 PM

mnottertail

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true straight in and out, did the earth move for you, too? Yeah, there may be a couple of those type of lemurs still extant.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 2:32:59 PM

Skully7000

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I've had a standing joke within my group of friends: "if you know what vanilla is, then you Ain't it!!!"

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 2:40:07 PM

Jeffff

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I don't care what flavor it is, I ain't fuckin' no leamur!!

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 4:03:40 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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I believe so, and is why I consistently show that "kinky" sex or activities is really no better/more/intense/awesomer than vanilla. It's just a different choice.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 4:05:21 PM

Jeffff

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So, what you are saying is, we are not better then they are? What a concept..:)

Jeff

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 5:40:19 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I believe so, and is why I consistently show that "kinky" sex or activities is really no better/more/intense/awesomer than vanilla. It's just a different choice.

Of the women I've been with in my life, roughly half were into some kind of kink, so it would seem that they are legion (so to speak). BUT...perhaps it has been simply a case of me many times finding what I was looking for anyway, so that probably negates the value of my experience.

Screw it. I'm a writer and PR flack, not a statistician!

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 5:43:49 PM

MidMichCowboy

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I always believed the ones who slapped me more than once when I suggested spanking their butts were vanilla. Maybe they just had good taste.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 5:57:12 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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I guess it depends on what you think vanilla is. If you think it is just people that enjoy heterosexual sex in the missionary position than maybe so. Just because someone enjoys a spank or a little bondage doesn't mean to me that they are any less vanilla than someone that doesn't. I think it depends on your definition of "vanilla".

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 6:17:13 PM

DesFIP

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If you're talking missionary position, then it's one of my favorites. His body pressing me into the bed, skin to skin contact, eyes locked. What's not to love in that?

Most people in a workable relationship have settled the power struggles for day to day things. If they don't, the relationship doesn't last. It's just too tiring to argue about everything.

The difference is that we discuss it and they don't, in the main. That's for power. For play, it's just a matter of degree. I love a hard back scratch that leaves welts, it doesn't hurt and it makes me purr and wriggle. He can't stand that, he just likes his rubbed. Both satisfy the itching back, just a matter of taste.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 6:24:08 PM

darchChylde

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Before coming into the lifestyle I've always practiced what i've come to term as "vanilla kink".

Vanilla kink to me is things like mild to moderate spankings, hair pulling, nails clawing, light bondage and spontaneous public or semi-public sex; these are the kinds of things that i believe almost everyone, to some extent at least, enjoys.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 8:41:17 PM

SailingBum

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I always viewed ppl not into my kinks... as needing their horizons expanded.

BadOne

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 9:06:22 PM

AtlantisKing111

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Hmmmmm. That depends on how you define vanilla. If you rate each person on a scale of 1 to 5 on how much kink one has in their lives do you only count those who rate a 1 as vanilla? Or do 2's count as vanilla?

Are you vanilla only if you've never spanked or been spanked by a partner? Are you vanilla if you've only done it a few times? Four or five times a year?

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 10:29:07 PM

SubbieOnWheels

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I think that there's more kink in many vanilla relationships than the partners in those relationships admit to. I've only had one relationship where I couldn't get the man to at least be a little rough in the actual intercourse, if not a little spanking. Heck, old movies show spankings.

Possibly the BDSM community goes a little further than "vanilla" practitioners - we are in the vanguard. As time goes on, more and more acts once thought "perverted" or "deviant" are now being thought merely "kinky."

BDSM - the brink of kink.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/25/2008 10:32:30 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I've found that a large percentage of people I've spoken with both in chatrooms and in real life are fascinated by and have fantasized about bondage and spanking. Many have even done one or both. In fact, I've found that only a very small percentage have no interest and I live in the bible belt. Could it be that vanillas are the ones in the minority?

Depends on how you define vanilla and sexuality. If sexuality is defined by harsh rules, messing around with some scarves and fuzzy handcuffs makes one kinky. Some define vanilla as anyone who doesn't desire a power dynamic in their relationships, others define anyone who toys around with a one-speed vib as kinky.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/26/2008 4:21:16 AM

Dnomyar

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Jefff watch out for the edge of the cliff.

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/26/2008 4:27:28 AM

ruthiexxxx

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i've always found vanilla improved by some shavings of belgian chocolate and a dollop of cointreau

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/26/2008 4:32:03 AM

alwaysuna

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For me personally, I feel a vanilla relationship is a relationship not having a clearly defined power dynamic. It is just frustrating as hell for me to have a vanilla relationship.

So I suppose that means that I consider Vanilla's those not wanting or needing the power dynamic. I don't think I have ever been in a relationship that wasn't wickedly kinky...it just wasn't D/s, and it didn't cut it for me.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/26/2008 4:40:09 AM

Taboo4Two

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From: NH, TX
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Too many vanillas seem to only see the SM in BDSM and then make the leap in logic that its all about inflicting and receiving pain.

Once you get them to understand that forcibly holding your partners hands over their head during sex is BDSM or that a swat on the ass during intercourse is BDSM they start to smile and nod a lot.

A lot of vanillas incorporate kink into their sexual play and even their everyday lives but are unwilling to embrace it because of the stigma often associate with it.

Domino

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

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RE: How many vanillas are actually vanilla? - 2/26/2008 4:46:04 AM

RCdc

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There is no 'vanilla' apart from the plant.
There are degrees of kink.

the.dark.

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