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Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:05:03 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

Was just reading about someone who had
graduated from being a submissive for many
years to becoming a Dom?

They say that their a Pro Dom now.
I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?

I was born submissive, and even though
some of my family have tried to make me
stronger or have tried to make me dominate,
I know who and what I am.

As Always, ant

Post #: 1

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:06:58 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Course it can happen, i have known many Doms who were previously subs and often their knowledge as subs makes them more understanding, people change all the time, what they want and who they are. For example when I was a young teen I only was attracted to boys with blond hair and blue eyes, now im far more attracted to dark haired people, i know thats a superficial thing but an example of how what we want changes as we grow and learn more about ourselves.

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(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 2

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:11:52 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

well you just never know what the future will hold when you let your heart lead you.

this life for me is about self exploration, self understanding and self discovery....and every time i look there is something new to see....i dont let labels define me, i go where i am lead...i have known many many wonderful doms that started as subs and vice versa....i think it really limits a person to slap a label on themselves voluntarily.

just my .02...

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 3

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:12:11 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

Wouldn't that make us Switches then?

As Always, ant

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 4

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:14:00 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i am a poly bi switch if i have to lable myself....but i would rather just call myself an erotic explorer.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 5

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:14:08 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Was just reading about someone who had
graduated from being a submissive for many
years to becoming a Dom?

They say that their a Pro Dom now.
I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?

I was born submissive, and even though
some of my family have tried to make me
stronger or have tried to make me dominate,
I know who and what I am.

As Always, ant

Ponders do we throw them a party of something?

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 6

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:15:00 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I don't consider it graduation- there's no scale or comparison level.

If they consider themselves both a dominant a submissive, then it would be what most people consider a switch.

If they have truly transferred to being a dominant and do not consider themselves submissive at all, then no.

And I'm curious about the stronger part- do you think submissives are weaker than dominants?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 7

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:18:56 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

i would not know....i am not part of a "we" that thinks like that. i feel more aligned with a "we" that feels every one has a right to learn and grow, and to reach out and connect with questions and answers...

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 2/20/2008 10:30:52 AM >

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 8

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:20:22 AM

shysub0951

Posts: 132
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

Yep, it can happen. With me because i started out as a Domme, i always wondered what it is to give up that control and not really have to think a lot about how the scene would play out. So yes i "graduated" from a Domme to a sub and will never go back to dominating someone

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 9

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:26:33 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

I started in the lifestyle over twenty years ago as a submissive and never ever thought that would change ... I was told that I was an excellant submissive and slave material .... yet also told by those that were European trained that I was truly Dominant ... I laughed at them.....

I mentored many submissives and also mentored newbie Dominants from time to time...teaching them skills they were sometimes embarrassed to ask other Dominants .. the ego thing you know ...

As time passed I found myself enjoying training more and more and the need to submit was less and less ... it seemed sudden but Im sure was very gradual ...that I realized that I had no desire to ever submit to anyone ever again and had a great need to own and train my own property.

I actively sought my submissive and the rest we shall say is history.

I do not consider myself a switch as I will never again switch, as that desire is not within me .... I dont feel I graduated into a dominant .... I feel I grew to accept my true self...

I do not feel everyone needs to take the path I did in order to be a Dominant .. nor do I think that the path I took makes me less of a Dominant.... it is just different to everyone....as is most of this lifestyle.

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:34:11 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I object to the word graduating. It makes it seem as though being a submissive is a less worthy status. If there were no submissives then this prodomme wouldn't be making any money.

But fulfilling one need and not needing to do it anymore? Why not. Also people sometimes feel drawn to a power relationship without knowing why. If this were the case, then why not have an experience topping someone which leads to a eureka moment? People grow and change, thanks be.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MissHarlet)

Post #: 11

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:37:10 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I don't consider it graduation- there's no scale or comparison level.

If they consider themselves both a dominant a submissive, then it would be what most people consider a switch.

If they have truly transferred to being a dominant and do not consider themselves submissive at all, then no.

And I'm curious about the stronger part- do you think submissives are weaker than dominants?

I would have been more elegant and lucid but what she said...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:44:24 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

I wouldn't consider transitioning from one label to another as "graduating"; especially considering that the labels are self assigned.

If the process was one of not knowing to self awareness; that's worthy a graduation party regardless of the end result, and still self applied label, you choose to wear. Pride and confidence is essential whether you are laying at the bottom of a men's room piss trough or ordering your partner to do so.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 13

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:44:44 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

If you were 'born' a submissive, how do you function healthily within a society, a society that calls for people to utilise both dominant/submissive traits. Sexually, however, is another matter entirely.

I'm intrigued as to your choice of words regarding submissiveness being somehow a weakness of character, can you explain further what you mean?

_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 14

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:54:33 AM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

while I agree with the previous responses...and most certainly DON"T consider submission Below domination. am I the only one to took this as tongue in cheek humor?
Obviously I don't know the person who made the comment but since i'm optimistic, and Idealisitc, thats the first thing that came to my mind.

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 15

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 10:56:08 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Was just reading about someone who had
graduated from being a submissive for many
years to becoming a Dom?

They say that their a Pro Dom now.
I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?

I was born submissive, and even though
some of my family have tried to make me
stronger or have tried to make me dominate,
I know who and what I am.

As Always, ant

I don't see why that isn't possible. As we learn, we grow in many areas of our lives. I see some who start off believing they are submissive by nature and as they learn and grow, they realize that they are not submissive but dominant. The same can hold true for a person thinking they are a dom and in time come to see that they are actually submissive and are true to themselves.

_____________________________

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 16

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 11:06:40 AM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

Hmmm, i have to concur that Graduation is an unfortunate word to use here. i worked in a position which is completely dominant by nature, and was intent on finding and capitalizing on peoples fears, issues and psyches. To me, submission is a gift offered with the knowlege that such fears and issues exist, and an acceptance thereof.
i felt it a rite of passage, Graduation if Y/you will, to learn to be able to offer that gift.

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to MissMorrigan)

Post #: 17

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 11:50:43 AM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

And I'm curious about the stronger part- do you think submissives are weaker than dominants?

Aren't they?

As always, ant

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 18

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 11:59:57 AM

SensualPassion41

Posts: 32
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline

I'd just like to point out that being submissive or slave does not equal being weak. It takes a very strong individual to turn over control to someone else. To be confident that they will make the right choices for you. To ensure the needs of your Master are met and he is able to meet yours. Being submissive/slave is not being weak.

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 19

RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? - 2/20/2008 12:09:50 PM

DS4DUMMIES

Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Was just reading about someone who had
graduated from being a submissive for many
years to becoming a Dom?

They say that their a Pro Dom now.
I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?

I was born submissive, and even though
some of my family have tried to make me
stronger or have tried to make me dominate,
I know who and what I am.

As Always, ant

Graduated?....there has to be a better term....that makes it sound as though being submissive is a "lesser" state and clearly it is not. One can be a switch, as others pointed out.....but a pro Dom? ...As for how it's possible to happen, the answer can also be $$$$$. This is especially true of becoming a pro Domme'. There is literally no shortage of men willing to pay big money to be topped. A submissive woman I know - who admittedly had pretty minimal "Dom" skills by her own admissin.....but knew just enough about it ....was able to haul in money in the high 5 figures a year for a number of years running by hanging out a pro domme shingle in an alternative newspaper ad. All the while she had a Dom herself, and was anything BUT in control.

Dominant men on the other hand, seeking to be a pro Dom for female submissives have little chance of even a single customer, let alone making a living at it.

Best advice: be true to who you really are.

< Message edited by DS4DUMMIES -- 2/20/2008 12:18:46 PM >

_____________________________

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” Patrick Overton

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 20

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