Graduating from Submissive to Dom?

Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

knees2you -> Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:05:03 AM)
*Was just reading about someone who had* *graduated from being a submissive for many* *years to becoming a Dom?* *They say that their a Pro Dom now.* *I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?* *I was born submissive, and even though* *some of my family have tried to make me* *stronger or have tried to make me dominate,* *I know who and what I am.* *As Always, ant[sm=idea.gif]*

colouredin -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:06:58 AM)
Course it can happen, i have known many Doms who were previously subs and often their knowledge as subs makes them more understanding, people change all the time, what they want and who they are. For example when I was a young teen I only was attracted to boys with blond hair and blue eyes, now im far more attracted to dark haired people, i know thats a superficial thing but an example of how what we want changes as we grow and learn more about ourselves.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:11:52 AM)
well you just never know what the future will hold when you let your heart lead you. this life for me is about self exploration, self understanding and self discovery....and every time i look there is something new to see....i dont let labels define me, i go where i am lead...i have known many many wonderful doms that started as subs and vice versa....i think it really limits a person to slap a label on themselves voluntarily. just my .02...

knees2you -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:12:11 AM)
*Wouldn't that make us Switches then?* *As Always, ant[sm=idea.gif]*

crouchingtigress -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:14:00 AM)
i am a poly bi switch if i have to lable myself....but i would rather just call myself an erotic explorer.

SailingBum -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:14:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you *Was just reading about someone who had* graduated from being a submissive for many years to becoming a Dom? *They say that their a Pro Dom now.* *I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?* *I was born submissive, and even though* *some of my family have tried to make me* *stronger or have tried to make me dominate,* *I know who and what I am.* *As Always, ant[sm=idea.gif]* Ponders do we throw them a party of something? BadOne

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:15:00 AM)
I don't consider it graduation- there's no scale or comparison level. If they consider themselves both a dominant a submissive, then it would be what most people consider a switch. If they have truly transferred to being a dominant and do not consider themselves submissive at all, then no. And I'm curious about the stronger part- do you think submissives are weaker than dominants?

crouchingtigress -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:18:56 AM)
i would not know....i am not part of a "we" that thinks like that. i feel more aligned with a "we" that feels every one has a right to learn and grow, and to reach out and connect with questions and answers...

shysub0951 -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:20:22 AM)
Yep, it can happen. With me because i started out as a Domme, i always wondered what it is to give up that control and not really have to think a lot about how the scene would play out. So yes i "graduated" from a Domme to a sub and will never go back to dominating someone [:)]

MissHarlet -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:26:33 AM)
I started in the lifestyle over twenty years ago as a submissive and never ever thought that would change ... I was told that I was an excellant submissive and slave material .... yet also told by those that were European trained that I was truly Dominant ... I laughed at them..... I mentored many submissives and also mentored newbie Dominants from time to time...teaching them skills they were sometimes embarrassed to ask other Dominants .. the ego thing you know ... As time passed I found myself enjoying training more and more and the need to submit was less and less ... it seemed sudden but Im sure was very gradual ...that I realized that I had no desire to ever submit to anyone ever again and had a great need to own and train my own property. I actively sought my submissive and the rest we shall say is history. I do not consider myself a switch as I will never again switch, as that desire is not within me .... I dont feel I graduated into a dominant .... I feel I grew to accept my true self... I do not feel everyone needs to take the path I did in order to be a Dominant .. nor do I think that the path I took makes me less of a Dominant.... it is just different to everyone....as is most of this lifestyle.

DesFIP -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:34:11 AM)
I object to the word graduating. It makes it seem as though being a submissive is a less worthy status. If there were no submissives then this prodomme wouldn't be making any money. But fulfilling one need and not needing to do it anymore? Why not. Also people sometimes feel drawn to a power relationship without knowing why. If this were the case, then why not have an experience topping someone which leads to a eureka moment? People grow and change, thanks be.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:37:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I don't consider it graduation- there's no scale or comparison level. If they consider themselves both a dominant a submissive, then it would be what most people consider a switch. If they have truly transferred to being a dominant and do not consider themselves submissive at all, then no. And I'm curious about the stronger part- do you think submissives are weaker than dominants? I would have been more elegant and lucid but what she said...

Mercnbeth -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:44:24 AM)
I wouldn't consider transitioning from one label to another as "graduating"; especially considering that the labels are self assigned. If the process was one of not knowing to self awareness; that's worthy a graduation party regardless of the end result, and still self applied label, you choose to wear. Pride and confidence is essential whether you are laying at the bottom of a men's room piss trough or ordering your partner to do so.

MissMorrigan -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:44:44 AM)
If you were 'born' a submissive, how do you function healthily within a society, a society that calls for people to utilise both dominant/submissive traits. Sexually, however, is another matter entirely. I'm intrigued as to your choice of words regarding submissiveness being somehow a weakness of character, can you explain further what you mean?

Skully7000 -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:54:33 AM)
while I agree with the previous responses...and most certainly DON"T consider submission Below domination. am I the only one to took this as tongue in cheek humor? Obviously I don't know the person who made the comment but since i'm optimistic, and Idealisitc, thats the first thing that came to my mind.

beargonewild -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 10:56:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you *Was just reading about someone who had* *graduated from being a submissive for many* *years to becoming a Dom?* *They say that their a Pro Dom now.* *I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?* *I was born submissive, and even though* *some of my family have tried to make me* *stronger or have tried to make me dominate,* *I know who and what I am.* *As Always, ant[sm=idea.gif]* I don't see why that isn't possible. As we learn, we grow in many areas of our lives. I see some who start off believing they are submissive by nature and as they learn and grow, they realize that they are not submissive but dominant. The same can hold true for a person thinking they are a dom and in time come to see that they are actually submissive and are true to themselves.

atursvcMaam -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 11:06:40 AM)
Hmmm, i have to concur that Graduation is an unfortunate word to use here. i worked in a position which is completely dominant by nature, and was intent on finding and capitalizing on peoples fears, issues and psyches. To me, submission is a gift offered with the knowlege that such fears and issues exist, and an acceptance thereof. i felt it a rite of passage, Graduation if Y/you will, to learn to be able to offer that gift.

knees2you -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 11:50:43 AM)
quote: *And I'm curious about the stronger part- do you think submissives are weaker than dominants?* *Aren't they?* *As always, ant[sm=idea.gif]*

SensualPassion41 -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 11:59:57 AM)
I'd just like to point out that being submissive or slave does not equal being weak. It takes a very strong individual to turn over control to someone else. To be confident that they will make the right choices for you. To ensure the needs of your Master are met and he is able to meet yours. Being submissive/slave is not being weak.

DS4DUMMIES -> RE: Graduating from Submissive to Dom? (2/20/2008 12:09:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you *Was just reading about someone who had* *graduated from being a submissive for many* *years to becoming a Dom?* *They say that their a Pro Dom now.* *I'm just wondering if it is possible for this to happen?* *I was born submissive, and even though* *some of my family have tried to make me* *stronger or have tried to make me dominate,* *I know who and what I am.* *As Always, ant[sm=idea.gif]* Graduated?....there has to be a better term....that makes it sound as though being submissive is a "lesser" state and clearly it is not. One can be a switch, as others pointed out.....but a pro Dom? ...As for how it's possible to happen, the answer can also be $$$$$. This is especially true of becoming a pro Domme'. There is literally no shortage of men willing to pay big money to be topped. A submissive woman I know - who admittedly had pretty minimal "Dom" skills by her own admissin.....but knew just enough about it ....was able to haul in money in the high 5 figures a year for a number of years running by hanging out a pro domme shingle in an alternative newspaper ad. All the while she had a Dom herself, and was anything BUT in control. Dominant men on the other hand, seeking to be a pro Dom for female submissives have little chance of even a single customer, let alone making a living at it. Best advice: be true to who you really are.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875