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spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 1:44:25 PM   
peacelili


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		i was telling my best friend about  my journey and he said it sounded like i was looking for a marriage as accorded in the bible.....so ive been thinking about this...and i wonder...is the spirituality connected with this lifestyle close to what the creator teaches us in the bible? i have been in three major relationships in my life...and in all three they were attracted to my for my strength and intelligence....but when i became 'needy' the relationship failed. i dont view myself as needy...but i do want to find a place within a relationship where i can turn over control into someones hands that i trust and love and not feel ashamed because i might not be as strong as i portray. i am open to any thoughts and comments on these ideas...
thank you
peacelili
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 1:46:40 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peacelili

i was telling my best friend about  my journey and he said it sounded like i was looking for a marriage as accorded in the bible.....so ive been thinking about this...and i wonder...is the spirituality connected with this lifestyle close to what the creator teaches us in the bible? i have been in three major relationships in my life...and in all three they were attracted to my for my strength and intelligence....but when i became 'needy' the relationship failed. i dont view myself as needy...but i do want to find a place within a relationship where i can turn over control into someones hands that i trust and love and not feel ashamed because i might not be as strong as i portray. i am open to any thoughts and comments on these ideas...
thank you
peacelili

I'm not sure what the creator teaches you in the bible but spirituality has a different definition for everyone.  Spirituality can bring balance and peacefulness to people and sometimes spirituality is the core aspect of someone's life, much like someone's religion.

At least to me.

DDZ-

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 2:18:34 PM   
peacelili


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		as it is for me....thus my curiosity on the spiritual side of this lifestyle.   i am very spiritual but not very religious and my spirituality being a big part of my sensuality must be at peace with this as well....
thank you for sharing ur thoughts, i appreciate it immensily.

in peace
lili



[/quote]
I'm not sure what the creator teaches you in the bible but spirituality has a different definition for everyone.  Spirituality can bring balance and peacefulness to people and sometimes spirituality is the core aspect of someone's life, much like someone's religion.

At least to me.

DDZ-
[/quote]

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 2:59:13 PM   
travelgman


Posts: 187
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline 		For many people a D's lifestyle between a Dom man and a sub woman represents a much closer representation of the kind of relationships that are talked about in the bible and many churches. You will also hear about 1950's or Male HOH  style relationships.Both of which refer back to the more traditional male dominated relationships that were the accepted norm pre 1960 or so. These relationships were considered the norm and accepted by both church and society as a whole.

That is the easy part to answer. Does a D's style relationship guarantee you a greater sense of  spirituality in your life. Not in and of itself. Spirituality s something that is created by a person or couple themselves. Like all personal things. How you live your life and carry out your relationships will define your spirituality. It is something you have to feel for yourself to be real.   Now having said that. I think many people in this lifestyle do feel it lends naturally toward the spiritual. That the closeness and intensity that is required for two people to really make this kind of lifestyle work in a permanent 24/7 relationship makes them become attuned to their mate in a way that no vanilla relationship ever could. And many people I think would consider that a very spiritual kinda bond. Werther it makes you closer to the creator or not I suppose would depend on the people involved and their own beliefs. But the simple answer in the end  I believe is-Yes it is possible. In the same way that many things bring many people closer to their creator. Meditation being a popular example.


As for you being needy. I suspect the vanilla world would describe most subs as being needy. And many "normal" vanilla men would not be able to handle someone like yourself. Would not be able to provide the control and trust level you speak of. By what you have wrote you sound like you could be submissive by nature and just beginning to realize it. And if so-it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Continue to explore and learn and see if this truly is you.and whether the lifestyle seems right for you or not.  If so -welcome. Your not alone.

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 3:05:09 PM   
travelgman


Posts: 187
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline 		Forgot to add this to my orginal post.

On a personal note. I do not think you have to be religous to be a spiritual kinda of person.

(in reply to travelgman)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 3:35:33 PM   
tigerstyle


Posts: 168
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		No shilly shallying, straight answer:

Yes, the Creator endorses BDSM.Colossians 3:18, 1 Corinthians 11:3, 1 Timothy 2:11.

Not to mention the entire book of Genesis.


_____________________________

million master march: on the 40th anniversary of bdsm, one million masters will march on washington dc to petition congress for redress of sexual wrongs. contact me for details.

(in reply to travelgman)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 4:01:58 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting and good verses...hmmmm


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 4:13:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_759471/mpage_2/key_religion/tm.htm#761510
bdsm and christianity to me

http://www.collarchat.com/m_651144/mpage_1/key_christian/tm.htm#651149
"Christian" bdsm?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_101393/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#101393
bdsm lifestyle vs christianity/religion

http://www.collarchat.com/m_112713/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#112713
bdsm spirituality???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_114995/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#114995
Christianity and ds bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_154410/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#154410
a sacred take on bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_168844/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#168844
bdsm and religion

http://www.collarchat.com/m_176205/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#176205
sensuality & religion = what?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_193896/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#193896
religion and bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_275551/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#275551
christians everywhere!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_323932/mpage_1/key_religion%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#323932
no...not the spiritual trip

http://www.collarchat.com/m_299050/mpage_1/key_faith%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#299050
power and spirit

http://www.collarchat.com/m_133611/mpage_1/key_spirituality%252Cbdsm/tm.htm#133611
bdsm and spirituality?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/15/2008 4:54:57 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

quote:

ORIGINAL: peacelili

i was telling my best friend about  my journey and he said it sounded like i was looking for a marriage as accorded in the bible.....so ive been thinking about this...and i wonder...is the spirituality connected with this lifestyle close to what the creator teaches us in the bible? i have been in three major relationships in my life...and in all three they were attracted to my for my strength and intelligence....but when i became 'needy' the relationship failed. i dont view myself as needy...but i do want to find a place within a relationship where i can turn over control into someones hands that i trust and love and not feel ashamed because i might not be as strong as i portray. i am open to any thoughts and comments on these ideas...
thank you
peacelili

I'm not sure what the creator teaches you in the bible but spirituality has a different definition for everyone.  Spirituality can bring balance and peacefulness to people and sometimes spirituality is the core aspect of someone's life, much like someone's religion.

At least to me.

DDZ-



Hey, DDZ! I've been wondering where you've been. Good to see you back again.

peacelili, there could be a number of reasons your men found it difficult to be with you when you became needy. If you've ever had a relationship with someone, and you think you know that someone pretty well, but then he or she changes from the person you fell in love with, it can be a rude awakening to say the very least.

If you are typically an independent strong woman who has never submitted before, submission might be tough for you to accept (it is for a lot of us). There is tremendous satisfaction in finally "getting" it though, and feeling safe enough to let go of control. You might not be able to do it right off the bat, so don't get frustrated with yourself. Be upfront with any Doms you might talk to, and for heaven's sakes remember that having an opinion and a brain is NOT being less sublike.

There are a lot of wankers posing as Doms out there who will tell you that you aren't submissive enough if you don't do certain things like masturbating on cam for them, cybering, etc. etc. etc. Make friends here, learn, and don't let yourself be taken in by the first Dom who strikes your fancy. Good luck.

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 12:14:06 AM   
peacelili


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		i thank u for ur support first of all...and i send much positive energy to u in kind freindship.

the thing about being a strong woman is this...i am when i have to be but dont always want to be, and i find it conflicting in my nature to be strong and independant at all times....thus my journey here. i will take ur words of wisdom into my journey.


(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 12:23:42 AM   
peacelili


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		travelgman....i thank you for giving so much....the moment i read ur words about me being needy and 'normal' men, it was like the universe centered for me....i have thought for a long time i must be some sort of freak to not really have the drive to be independant in this world.

in gratitude
peacelili

(in reply to travelgman)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 12:28:14 AM   
peacelili


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		thank you immensily for all the links on this topic....i appreciate ur sharing ur wisdom with me

in peace
lili

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 12:29:55 AM   
peacelili


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		thank you tigerstyle for sharing ur knowledge of the verses with me...i appreciate ur wisdom and will study these as well as the other information i recieved here

be in peace
lili

(in reply to tigerstyle)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 1:38:00 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Hi

The bible is full of information on slavery, and before such things became illegal it was believed by many that the slave served God by serving his or her Master. Many in the BDSM lifestyle still believe this. That if a slave serves well, he or she served God through his or her Master.

Many also see pain and pleasure as a way of meditation and the whole package of BDSM as a way to get closer to who they really are, some even use it for occult ritual. There are countless ways to look at BDSM in a Spiritual way. That being said, i do believe that if one is a Spiritual person then Spirituality become a part of all he or she do, that be mundane tasks like cooking or driving to work or something like BDSM. Being Spiritual means all around you are Spiritual.

i wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 1:44:31 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Hi

quote:

That the closeness and intensity that is required for two people to really make this kind of lifestyle work in a permanent 24/7 relationship makes them become attuned to their mate in a way that no vanilla relationship ever could.


i am very much opposed to this. i think that one can not judge the value of another's relationship from what one need oneself. It is a common myth in BDSM that D/s relationships are somehow deeper, more meaningful and better than vanilla relationships. i do not agree whit this. Yes if it is D/s one need then a D/s relationship will be deeper and better than a vanilla relationship, but if you have no need or desire for it, then the type of relationship that is right for you will be the deepest and most meaningful.

It is the pepole in a relationship and their connections to one another that determine how deep and meaningful a relationship is and how deep an attunment to one another the pepole in the relationship has, not how they organize the relationship and whatever or not there are whips involved.

i wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to travelgman)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 2:34:56 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: travelgman

For many people a D's lifestyle between a Dom man and a sub woman represents a much closer representation of the kind of relationships that are talked about in the bible and many churches. You will also hear about 1950's or Male HOH  style relationships.Both of which refer back to the more traditional male dominated relationships that were the accepted norm pre 1960 or so. These relationships were considered the norm and accepted by both church and society as a whole.

That is the easy part to answer. Does a D's style relationship guarantee you a greater sense of  spirituality in your life. Not in and of itself. Spirituality s something that is created by a person or couple themselves. Like all personal things. How you live your life and carry out your relationships will define your spirituality. It is something you have to feel for yourself to be real.   Now having said that. I think many people in this lifestyle do feel it lends naturally toward the spiritual. That the closeness and intensity that is required for two people to really make this kind of lifestyle work in a permanent 24/7 relationship makes them become attuned to their mate in a way that no vanilla relationship ever could. And many people I think would consider that a very spiritual kinda bond. Werther it makes you closer to the creator or not I suppose would depend on the people involved and their own beliefs. But the simple answer in the end  I believe is-Yes it is possible. In the same way that many things bring many people closer to their creator. Meditation being a popular example.


As for you being needy. I suspect the vanilla world would describe most subs as being needy. And many "normal" vanilla men would not be able to handle someone like yourself. Would not be able to provide the control and trust level you speak of. By what you have wrote you sound like you could be submissive by nature and just beginning to realize it. And if so-it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Continue to explore and learn and see if this truly is you.and whether the lifestyle seems right for you or not.  If so -welcome. Your not alone.

This is how I feel...needy. Thank you for giving the words.
Spirtuality is, for me, as important in D/s as anything.  It's a search for my inner "me", my soul. I'm not a religious person and I shun organized religion like the plague. Not to offend anyone who doesn't agree because if it works for you then so be it. This is the path to my Bliss. One of the most spiritual experiences I've ever had.
Just my very humble and still inexperienced opinion

(in reply to travelgman)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 3:34:24 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Many people see the lifestyle and Christianity to go hand in hand. In fact, many spiritualities fit within the lifestyle.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 3:37:30 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peacelili

i thank u for ur support first of all...and i send much positive energy to u in kind freindship.

the thing about being a strong woman is this...i am when i have to be but dont always want to be, and i find it conflicting in my nature to be strong and independant at all times....thus my journey here. i will take ur words of wisdom into my journey.




Why is being strong a bad thing? Thing of it this way: the Master is the head of the relationship and the slave is the neck. A strong neck makes for a strong Master (given the Master has a good head).

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 4:38:08 AM   
joy2u


Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peacelili
...is the spirituality connected with this lifestyle close to what the creator teaches us in the bible?
 Personally, i don't see spirituality connected with "this lifestyle".  For me, spirituality is just a part of my life and not something that comes from enjoying BDSM but, is with me in everything i do.  Not everyone who practices BDSM is spiritual or is spiritual in the same way.  
quote:

i do want to find a place within a relationship where i can turn over control into someones hands that i trust and love and not feel ashamed because i might not be as strong as i portray.
 Finding someone who is compatible in all areas of your life and personality is something that can be very difficult and it can take a lot of trial and error but, it's worth it when you do finally meet that person who is happy with you being yourself and appreciates you for all that you have to offer to them and the relationship.   i believe that successful relationships need open and honest communication, right from the start.  Being open and upfront about your spiritual beliefs, along with all of your interests, values, goals, etc. is very important in finding someone who is compatible with you. 
quote:

he said it sounded like i was looking for a marriage as accorded in the bible....
 If you are looking for marriage based on Christianity and the Bible, you might want to look into Christian Domestic Discipline.  There are several good sites on the web. Here are a couple of passages regarding marriage. Ephesians 5:22-31 22: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Savior of the body.
24: Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  2 Corinthians 6:14:Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?   -- be equally yoked (married to like-minded believers) joyOwned servant of Master David

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: spirituality in bsdm lifestyle - 2/16/2008 4:58:53 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		I agree with DarkDaddyZ--the Bible and spirituality are not one in the same for many people---what I do believe is that if this is the kind of relationship one seeks, and they are able to find it--then a certain peace and calm becomes present, which can open one's heart and soult-that to Me is spirituality.
 
As for the Bible, just as you can find quotes to say this is what the Creator meant, there will be someone to find 100 that damns you to hell.
 
IMHO, if one finds peace within themselves, then can extend that to a family unit and live on this earth filled with that, to the good of fellow man--that is what spirituality is all about--and that can be found in or out of the life.

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/16/2008 5:29:10 AM >

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to peacelili)
Profile   Post #: 20
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