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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/13/2008 11:24:39 PM

Maestro66babycak

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I wish you all the good luck in the world sir !

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/13/2008 11:24:49 PM

snappykappy

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tyvm subby

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/13/2008 11:28:28 PM

atursvcMaam

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Pray and make peace with anyone i had wounded in my life, and not tell anyone that this might put over the edge.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 2:18:03 AM

MissMorrigan

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Snappy, I'm so sorry to read you are going through this. I had a search for some information, found this link (you may already have seen this site), and it offers a little information regarding costs/insurances, etc...

http://www.mdchoice.com/Pt/consumer/HrtLungTr.asp

As for telling your parents. The natural reaction is to not want to given their age, however, I think that's likely going to give you added stress and our loved ones tend to know when there's something our kids aren't telling us, and i'm sure they'd noticed your declining health. I'd be inclined to tell them.

Do get a second opinion regarding your condition and what treatments are available to you. I should imagine, at present, you are thinking worst case scenario... Try not to do that, fight for your health, you owe it to yourself and those that love you.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 2:56:27 AM

subrob1967

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I'm not sure what state you live in, but all states have programs that will pay for life threatening illnesses, at little to no cost to the citizen.

I live in Indiana, and here we have a program called HCI (Hoosier care for the Indigent) in which the state pays all costs for life threatening ailments.

That is if the VA or SSCI (Social Security Disability) doesn't pick up the cost.

Good luck.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 3:43:16 AM

Level

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Good luck, kappy. I know it's scary as hell, and stressful.

Pray (as O said), research, and make peace with things. If it looks like it has a good chance of helping you, pursue the treatments, and do NOT worry about the costs.

As for your parents, I would tell them. Gently and lovingly.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 4:02:51 AM

Rule

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Die, die in battle, or go for a swim to Iceland and have a talk and a game of cards with the nice sharks on the way.

Yes, tell your parents.

< Message edited by Rule -- 2/14/2008 4:18:43 AM >

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 6:36:44 AM

Phoenix2raven

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Live until my quality of life/health got to a certain point then do something outrageous and go out with a big bang!

< Message edited by Phoenix2raven -- 2/14/2008 6:38:00 AM >

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 7:07:52 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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suicide. why wait for something thats not coming in my life time when im already old. waiting lists can take 10-15 or even 20 years. if your that sick you certainly wouldnt last that long anyway.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 7:19:31 AM

kittinSol

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Looks like I'd have to wait for a long time before carking it.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 7:39:35 AM

SubbieOnWheels

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Snappy, I'm saddened to hear of your condition. I pray that the VA and whoever else can help you will do so, and quickly. Please pursue all the avenues that have been suggested.

As for your parents: there are some things that it's best for parents not to know. This is not one of them. The knowledge that you are in a serious medical condition will be distressful to them and may be too much for them. The knowledge that you died without warning them (when you knew it might happen) certainly will do so.

Ask at the VA if there is a counselor or chaplain you can talk with to discuss the best way of approaching this topic with your parents.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 8:24:39 AM

sirsholly

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Educate yourself. The VA, sadly, does not have the best track record for providing their patients with necessary information. Please contact UNOS, the United Network for Organ Sharing. They can give you the stats for what you are up against as far as the average wait, recovery, etc.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 8:30:13 AM

Mercnbeth

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Party! Even more than I do now, surrounding myself with as many fun loving people as possible. Hoping to spend my last penny buying another round of drinks at the bar's last call and mine.

Edited to add the answer to the other part of the question:

I'd tell no one but beth and tell her that any look on her face showing pity, sympathy, or regret will result in immediate dismissal, release, and divorce. Telling anyone else, parents included, would only create a pool of people who faces would reflect reminders of a pending and I'd end up spending my emotional, physical, and remaining time resources comforting them. Would they treat you different? Would you treat them different? I'd prefer honest ongoing interaction not tempered and pity tinged.

Some would call that selfish, not wanting to share my condition. It is - but I never claimed to anyone I was anything other than selfish. I'd take advantage of any program or experimental procedure, but would have no regrets if I didn't qualify or didn't have the 'right' insurance coverage or assets.

In reality any terminal diagnosis one discloses the cause of a fate that 100% will experience. Would you treat a person different who you interacted with today if after saying good-bye and parted is killed in an accident or dies of a heart attack? I missed dying by changing a meeting time by 3 hours. As the years have passed, I've resigned myself to always having a sense of guilt that my partner, friends, and business associates I was meeting were there and I was not. I'm glad however, that I don't have regret over our last contact, and our last words exchanged looked forward to a golf game that, if beth is right, we'll still get to have on another plain of existence.

A terminal diagnosis is an advantage over others. They still have to guess for themselves what you already know. The bottom line is life is terminal. Each of us is giving a finite amount of it. I wouldn't want to waste any of it feeling sorry for myself or comforting others who feel sorry for me.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 2/14/2008 9:48:50 AM >

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 8:49:57 AM

joanus

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Start planning your funneral bubby because the odds of you winning the lottery are better than you getting a heart/lung donor. Unless you can come up with about $50,000 for a heart, and another $45,000 for a lung, I'm afraid the Blackmarket can't help you.
The only for sure way to get a donated organ is to all ready have a willing donor that way you can skip the waiting list. Even then there is no garuntee. They look at your health records and check to see if you have drank, smoked, or done drugs in the past 3-6 months. Unlike the US military Hospitals have high standards.
Lastly there is matching blood types which is very tricky. Oh but wait, theres more, heart transplants are really difficult, the slitest error can kill the patient.

Then even if you survive the surgery you have to contend with two things Inept doctors/surgents/nurses and infection.

Several time Surgents have forgoten a thing or two and sewn up a pateint, then found out Oops they lose their watch and guess where it is, thats right pal YOUR chest cavity.

Almost all surgery (especaliy transplants) have some minor infection which can become major infections, which in turn leads to death.

Basicly its a lose, lose, lose sistuation, but hey if you can survive all that your almosts as good as me. Good luck trust me your going to need it.

Words to live by from the Great Sage Joanus (no butt jokes)

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 11:31:57 AM

vagabonddom

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I know what you are going through as I have had the lung transplant nearly 7 years ago. I was faced with the same decision you are faced with and I chose to have the transplant. My advise is to get it done. I have heard in Seattle (other places the times could vary) the average wait is just months now with rarer blood types taking longer. I have met people who had the transplant with in a week of being placed on the list and others who have been on the list for over a year. I wrote to you privately. Best of luck and do not give up it is not a death sentence but a chanch for a continuation of a long life.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 11:53:32 AM

lusciouslips19

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I would try to find out as much as I could about my condition. Try to take care and manage it as best I could. I would Do as much as possible while I still felt good. I would pray and tell the people in my life I loved them and also make amends with those I have had strained relations with. I would pray again, then I would try to find a sense of piece that regardless of what happened in the future I would be prepared to LET GO AND LET GOD.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 12:08:21 PM

KatyLied

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snappykappy - I"m sorry to hear about this.
See if there is a yahoo group for this illness. This way you can find out current treatments, what questions to ask your doctors, etc. I did this a few years ago when I was facing surgery and it helped me immensely.

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 12:31:50 PM

vield

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I can not say what I would do in any situation this severe.

I have had serious medical isssues a number of times, but fortunately got through them.

I have also had many friends, family, loved ones, loving BD/SM friends and co-workers be diagnosed with severe stuff that is very dangerous, with frequent fateal results.

I have seen tyhe best results from sharing the info calmly with very dear ones, who would be very hurt if they were not told and I did not make it.

Since I was close to my parents and am to many of my immediate family, I would tell those closest first. The word gets around FAST.
I would get more Dr opinions ASAP and check those out too.
I would visit my most powerful and caring Reiki/Healing Touch person for LONG sessions after telling her all about the problem.
I would ask those who love me to take my name in vain to the Power which guides their spiritual life to try asking for the results Best for me. How you feel is your business, but 10 or 20 or more people sending their version of prayer and/or healing thoughts can raise an incredible amount of energy, which has been followed in several cases by remissions or healings which puzzle the docs. In my own healings these have been incredible.
I would search out the ideas of herbalists, holistic healers, and traditional old remedials concerning my condition or very similar conditions. Sometimes one may be able to reduce symptoms a lot even if it is not a cure.
One person had his lung cancer addressed by the prayers of his church and friends, but he also listened to people about non- AMA remedies No guarantee that either the prayer or the simple dietary change he was recommended by alternative healing people were the reasons, but his cancer went into remission for many years. Another friend was intentionally exposed to HIV by a partner who wanted to take her with him. He died, she did not. That was 1996 and she is still alive. The major caring and support of the BD/SM community helped her a lot.She has many medical issues to deal with regularly, but she does so, The biggest change was that she could never again be a pro-sub, because as the sub she could not trust customers to keep themselves safe in a session, so she had to learn to Domme.
There are also a number of kidney transplants that loving energy seemed to help. Not everyone "won" the battles, but some did and are still with us over a decade later.
Best Wishes!

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 12:49:02 PM

Arpig

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I would learn to type in english

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RE: what would u do if u found out - 2/14/2008 3:10:53 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I would learn to type in english

The Man may die and you're picking on his abbreviating? Can he spell Asshole?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 2/14/2008 3:12:00 PM >

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