Mercnbeth
Posts: 11766
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When helping people make decisions one of the tactics I use is to tell the person to "project out". What is the best and worst case result for their actions and decisions. With my kids I used the tactic for serious things such as driving after drinking, and silly things such as a request to have a pony.
This story that's been in the NY news lately is a 'project out' for those in relationships kept secret from their spouses or significant others. What can happen sometimes does happen. Then you just sound silly when the details are exposed.
quote:
He does not remember putting on the handcuffs, nipple clamps, dog collar, high-heel shoes or hood, vowing "I'm going to seek professional help to get over this dirty habit. His life was saved last Friday by a dominatrix at the Nutcracker Suite on East 33rd Street, who was assigned to check on him after her colleague left him with a dog collar around his neck and a leather mask over his face, suspended a few inches off the floor. She realized his foot was turning blue because one of his high heels had slipped off.
How many unpublished versions of this story occur regularly?
quote:
Benjamin managed to keep his shameful secret from his wife, his two kids, who are now adults, and the students he taught at Montreal's Vanier College until his recent retirement. He never indulged his "dirty habit" in Montreal, where he fooled relatives, neighbors and colleagues into thinking he was a respectable family man who enjoyed outdoor activities. He used professionals who I'm sure weren't emotionally impacted by these comments but what if his play partners were similarly non-pro 'regular' types having a similar family situation. You go from friend, lover, confident, sharer of desires and fulfiller of fantasies to a "dirty habit".
Now his former partners, his desires and his secret life is a source of "shame".
quote:
The kinky college professor who was almost strangled during an S&M session at a Midtown club told The Post yesterday he's deeply ashamed and is finally through with the double life he's lived since he was kid. "I don't want my wife to leave me, but I have to tell her the truth," he said. "I'm going to share everything with her. I think my family will forgive me,"
What to you think the chances of this being true? quote:
"I don't want to go to the clubs anymore," Benjamin said.
"Now that I've almost died, I can't see myself going back to S&M," he said. "If you gave me $100,000 to spend there, I wouldn't. I'm not crazy."
Projecting out, the over/under is he'll have a profile on CM within 6 months.
Source document: http://www.nypost.com/seven/02132008/news/regionalnews/they_beat_it_out_of_me_97391.htm?page=2
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Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 
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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 
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