RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 1:42:36 AM

Scarlet28

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lol @ Aileen

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 6:21:44 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

~ Fast Reply ~

Just wanted to note how wacky this world is. Thread after thread on Collar-Chat, pages and pages long, condemning those who cheat on their spouses...

And yet if you go to Level's "Romantic Movies" poll in the Polls and Other Random Stupidity Forum, you'll see great movies talked about, such as Bridges of Madison County, Casablanca, Brokeback Mountain....all about people who cheated on their spouses.

og,
Checked to be sure; not one reply nor the original post can be considered "condemning". The purpose here was to illustrate the possibilities. There are a similar amount of threads regarding consent but that's only half the of the story. Informed consent is a bit more evasive it seems, at least when it comes to the spouse or significant other. Using this example of potential consequence may help some avoid a similar result in their situation.

'Bridges of Madison County', 'Casablanca', 'Brokeback Mountain'; "romantic" movies all. Which one ended 'happily ever after'?
Answer: Casablanca - Rick and Inspector Renault walked into the fog, kissed, and turned 'Rick's Cafe' into a coffee bar with open mike poetry readings while the Inspector pursued a career in flower arrangement and interior design.

The Inspector always had a crush on Rick, evidenced by this line.
Renault: Well, Rick is the kind of man that... well, if I were a woman, and I were not around, I should be in love with Rick. But what a fool I am talking to a beautiful woman about another man.

And of course Rick at end, fell in love...

"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

My favorite 'romantic' movie? - 'Blade Runner'!

HAPPY V-Day!

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 2/14/2008 6:35:14 AM >

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 7:43:42 AM

ownedgirlie

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Merc, other than a couple of comments on the couple divorcing as a result, there has been no condemnation in this thread, yet no proponents of the guy secretly going outside the marriage either. In other words, there has been a very mild, yet negative slant on the topic.

Not that I'm a proponent of cheating, mind you, although I don't feel as strongly about it as most do here. My comment had to do with the nature of cheating threads in general, not specific to this one, and if you have any doubt about the condemning nature of those gazillions of pages of threads, I'm not sure what to tell you - do a search? Start a new one asking, "Is it OK to cheat on my spouse?" and see what you come up with.

My comment was simply on the wacky irony of people, and I used your thread to express it, not to criticize your own thread. Another brilliant "romantic" movie not mentioned in Level's thread, which did end happily ever after - Same Time, Next Year, with Alan Alda and Ellen Burstein.

And yeah, Casablanca. :) Ilsa ended up where she needed to be, Laslo was a happy man, and Rick and Renault, well...their happily ever after is quite obvious, isn't it?

Happy V-Day to you and beth!

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 2:19:30 PM

lateralist1

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What I don't understand is that if there is no sex involved some men don't see it as cheating.
To me not telling your SO about such an important part of who you are has to be seen as cheating.
Considering the consequences of your actions is all very well except that some people are really not able to do risk assessments.
I always point out the realities of a D/s relationship with me and I'm quite a mild sadist compared to some. It soon puts people off who are not really prepared for them. As a newbie sub you only have to read some of the posts on this site to scare yourself to death.
I talked to a sub a while ago r/t who waited for hours for a Domme to show up. He thought she was doing a mind fuck on him. He just didn't understand that some people are just impolite and inconsiderate. I also talked to a sub on the phone who didn't understand that I am a sadist even though presumably he had read the bit on my profile on alt that says 'intense pain'.
How many times have we read posts on here about newbies getting far more than they bargained for? And subs/slaves asking for outrageously dangerous things to be done to them. The human mind is fabulous it can create such rose coloured pictures.
The reality is that people can fuck-up. We are all only human. If you want to indulge in a dangerous sport you have to accept that sometimes the outcome is not the one you would like. Or of course you can just talk about it lol.

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 3:12:34 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

I was told that Criscoe was an ointment. Is that true?.......................

Only for folks with Wessonality

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 3:51:02 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

...

This story that's been in the NY news lately is a 'project out' for those in relationships kept secret from their spouses or significant others. What can happen sometimes does happen. Then you just sound silly when the details are exposed.

quote:

He does not remember putting on the handcuffs, nipple clamps, dog collar, high-heel shoes or hood, vowing "I'm going to seek professional help to get over this dirty habit. His life was saved last Friday by a dominatrix at the Nutcracker Suite on East 33rd Street, who was assigned to check on him after her colleague left him with a dog collar around his neck and a leather mask over his face, suspended a few inches off the floor. She realized his foot was turning blue because one of his high heels had slipped off.

...

I'm guessing this guy was way ahead of you, Merc. That is to say I wouldn't be surprised if the good professor was Projecting Out noticeably during these sessions.

But can someone explain how the absence of a high heel makes a foot turn blue?

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RE: Project out from those 'secret' relationships - 2/14/2008 5:06:00 PM

gypsygrl

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The sentence is ambiguous. I think its supposed to mean that because he didn't have a shoe on, she was able to see that his foot was blue. Not that the falling off of the shoe caused his foot to turn blue.

A general thought: I like the idea of projecting out. Its a good phrase. I always look at the best and worst case scenarios when making a decision. I don't necessarily let those extremes play a determining role in my decisions but I do try to be aware of them.

I have to disagree with LA's reading of the idea as considering the likely consequences...its the unlikely consequences that cause the most trouble. :)

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