RE: People need to get real

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: People need to get real

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: People need to get real

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 10:39:57 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Yay I'm exceptional!

The whole post wasn't directed at you per se RM, but the overwhelming amount of posts we see here demanding that if a person doesn't meet some formula they "need to get real" or are "fake". Everyone is different, no human being is a formula, neither are any of you suggesting people are "fake". I may look at others relationships and say man I just cannot see how that would make someone happy, but I'm not them, so in the end it really doesn't matter does it? That was my point.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 2/10/2008 10:40:25 AM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 11:17:21 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Yay I'm exceptional!

Yes, you are.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to laurell3)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 11:51:25 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

We've got at least two solid relationships in the forums which went immediately to live in situations with no in between courting to speak of.

And I'm sure we've got hundreds that went badly.

But we can't ignore the unusual data points just because they don't fit into our curves.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 11:53:23 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Being used mercilessly as a sex object over the phone by a sadist is a lot easier than having to put up with nipple clamps for five minutes in real life.

i just choked ... full on .. eye streaming ... rasping on the carpet .. choked

just too funny

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 1:54:40 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Another friend of mine met her Master/husband in a chat room, too. They had a long distant relationship for a few months, meeting in person only a couple of times, and she moved across several states to live with him. Now they are happily married and life is good.

An online friend of mine met someone in a religious chatroom, he moved to Australia after a year and a half and married her 3 months later. That was about three years ago. They were together the last time I saw them online a week ago... happily so

They are vanilla too

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 3:03:45 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michelleryder

I just read another post about an online Master/slave couple who intend to go into 24/7 lifestyle together. As the thread progresses it turns out they havent even met yet but are intending to move straight into a full time relationship.
My Master spent over three years driving back and forth between Wigan and Bradford before i moved here with him. Yes I know it's only the pennines not the Alps but it's still an hours drive each way several times a week. During that period we played together and built up a fair collection of toys none of which are Anne Summers furry handcuffs!
I'd say to all those people who love the fantasy but have yet to experience the reality.......go slow. If it's meant to be then it will happen but always remember the reality and the fantasy are two very different things.

I've already started the process of selling everything I own and moving to Kansas.

That's where I fully expect to meet my future Domme...she will be gorgeous, intelligent and have a really great job allowing me to remain the fully subservient sub I intend to be...and yes...24/7.

(But....I'm not in Kansas yet, now...am I?)

Hmmmmmmm.

(in reply to michelleryder)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 3:13:44 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michelleryder

I just read another post about an online Master/slave couple who intend to go into 24/7 lifestyle together. As the thread progresses it turns out they havent even met yet but are intending to move straight into a full time relationship.
My Master spent over three years driving back and forth between Wigan and Bradford before i moved here with him. Yes I know it's only the pennines not the Alps but it's still an hours drive each way several times a week. During that period we played together and built up a fair collection of toys none of which are Anne Summers furry handcuffs!
I'd say to all those people who love the fantasy but have yet to experience the reality.......go slow. If it's meant to be then it will happen but always remember the reality and the fantasy are two very different things.

yes but people just bump into each other in a pub or in the supermarket don't they and end up married, two point four kids and a mortgage round their necks. There is no training for vanilla life (unless you are in a church, or religion or sect maybe where that take splace).

(in reply to michelleryder)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 3:31:28 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Being used mercilessly as a sex object over the phone by a sadist is a lot easier than having to put up with nipple clamps for five minutes in real life.

oh as a masochist i can think of a few things a sadist could do with me whilst I bent at the hips over a pone and what only five minutes in nipple clamps...the basard took em off far too soon.....
always got tricked by sadists when speaking by telephone though they always seem such nice guys....

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 6:41:58 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

And I'd have to look at an overall satisfying and productive relationship based primarily on *gasp,VANILLA* agenda to really want to commit to someone.

You need a life before you can have a "lifestyle".

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: People need to get real - 2/10/2008 6:43:13 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: michelleryder

I just read another post about an online Master/slave couple who intend to go into 24/7 lifestyle together. As the thread progresses it turns out they havent even met yet but are intending to move straight into a full time relationship.
My Master spent over three years driving back and forth between Wigan and Bradford before i moved here with him. Yes I know it's only the pennines not the Alps but it's still an hours drive each way several times a week. During that period we played together and built up a fair collection of toys none of which are Anne Summers furry handcuffs!
I'd say to all those people who love the fantasy but have yet to experience the reality.......go slow. If it's meant to be then it will happen but always remember the reality and the fantasy are two very different things.

I've already started the process of selling everything I own and moving to Kansas.

That's where I fully expect to meet my future Domme...she will be gorgeous, intelligent and have a really great job allowing me to remain the fully subservient sub I intend to be...and yes...24/7.

(But....I'm not in Kansas yet, now...am I?)

Hmmmmmmm.

I hope that you have informed toto of your plans.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Griswold)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: People need to get real - 2/11/2008 8:41:54 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wkdshadow

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

People want immediate gratification. People are desperate for relationships.

I was reading a thread where a couple as been on-line for 2 years and not yet met. If they wanted to meet, wouldn't they have used some vacation time or long weekends during a 2 year period and made the effort to get together? I'm thinking someone in that situation is just not that much into the other and it is doubtful they will ever meet, if they haven't after 2 years.

I don't know, I just recently(a few months ago really) met a friend I've known for 12 years online. Granted, it's a completely different situation and we're just friends, but still. Getting to know someone takes time... and that's sort of the question here. How well do you know *really* this persion that you're wanting to meet?

Going with what everyone has said though, it *is* irresponsible to just up and move in. If someone's willing to make that large of a commitment, then be ready to make a smaller one first, and get a few weeks vacation time. With rare exceptions, a lot of people are different in real life, in different ways. I'm more quiet and a lot less likely to speak with a stranger. What's the change in personality that the person you might be moving in with happens to have? Some people aren't the people they make themselves out to be at all, and that's something you should think about, and find out for yourself before even considering moving in with another person.

Even if you see them a few times people don't always turn out who they present themselves to be. You all have had that boyfriend/girlfriend that didn't turn out to be who you thought they were, who they pretended to be. "Once bitten, twice shy" is not only an old saying, but some damned good advice!

Hold it a minute. According to your profile, you're a twenty year old. That means, mathmatically, you 'met' your friend online when you were eight. I think that alone is a huge misrepresentation to the discussion at hand.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to wkdshadow)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: People need to get real - 2/11/2008 9:33:05 AM

mhawk

Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline

i agree that for the most part that some are looking for immediate gratification jumping in immediately into a 24/7 D/s.

but i will also say that in some cases it isn't planned that way. would like to use my example of sorts. my Lord and Mistress wanted to wait until summer to bring me here,which i understand fully and understood fully. the people i lived with at the time,were active drug users and were getting upset that a recovering addict was there.it was mroe my friends boyfriend than her that was getting upset about about,so she listened to him and drove me to another city and dropped me on the street knowing i had just spent all i had to move there initially. so needless to say i ended up in a shelter.the caring people that my Lord and Mistress are did not like the thought of their "potential slave" of being out there like that. so they sent for me much earlier than anticipated. And here's the better part. i've been here going on a little over four months and it's working out great for all of us.

So i guess what i'm getting at and hope it doesn't set anyone off is this, sometimes it's not planned for a slave to move in with their D immediately,circumstances can be different, but yes i do still agree some are looking for immediate gratification,and some are just changes in plan.

(in reply to michelleryder)

Profile

Post #: 52