Jokes that are not

Jokes that are not (Full Version)

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ItalianSMistress -> Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 6:21:18 AM)
I had a bit of a strange thing happen last night and it really made Me laugh after. I went out to see the new Diane Lane movie, Untraceable, and afterwards I was out picking up some things at the corner store and some guy I have seen around comes over and asked Me what movie I just saw (I still had My drink, I am assuming that is how he knew). So I told him and he asked how it was, I told him it was alright, a little predictable, but the killer was pretty sadistic, so that made up for it. He then looks at Me and says, "Oh, you like that eh? Perhaps I should tie you up and spank you." Well, I was a little shocked to say the least, but it made Me laugh out loud, I mean REALLY loud. How ironic, if he only knew....... So, then I was thinking, I love to make small jokes about BDSM when in general public, b/c what I find most funny, is that the other person you are joking with laughs, thinking you are joking, but what I am really laughing at is that I am but not about what they think. For example, I give tours of the Falls and one day there was this couple on My bus and everytime we stopped to look at something there was this one guy that would light a smoke as he was climbing off the bus, everytime, and his wife or gf or whoever she was hated it and kept bitching at him about it. Near the end of the day, I went over to the two of them and said "You know, this is only My side job, I really specialize in behavor modification, I have a whip at home that would fix that problem up for you in no time." Then we all had a good laugh. Of course, they were laughing thinking it was another one of My insane jokes, which I tell a ton of while giving tours, but I was laughing harder knowing there was some truth to it. Although I dont do things like that often, when I do, I find it is SO funny. Anyone else have stories like that?

xxblushesxx -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 6:24:17 AM)
Yes. But, I used to do it more when I was new to it. Now that I'm a 24/7 live in slave, it makes me a bit nervous to do so. ~Christina

lronitulstahp -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 6:29:46 AM)
i have to admit i do it quite often...refer to enjoying being spanked...or liking my men to be type A. This week, my mother came to town for a visit...and said "you like that freaky s**T don't you?" i was floored...but just laughed it off[8D]

Phin -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 6:31:31 AM)
I made a small screw up at work one day, a female coworker says that I deserve a spanking, my reply "barehanded or paddle?" she gives me the weirdest look and cracks up, nearly falling off the ladder she was standing on

Justme696 -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 6:38:34 AM)
I love birthday parties where people brag about their sex life..think it is sooooo kinky.. then I love to make remarks...just to add some extra lol....and I just keep looking serious and see all those serious faces looking at me...like "Does he tell the truth?? " At work I always show who I am with little remarks in meetings ...i give them a glimps of my thoughts and who I am....love those faces. A very simple thing...is just to say "Silence" to friends.. ..and they actually shut up..because they are supprised... Or when a guy says..I had to ask my wife too...SO i say..why ask..demand it.... just small things...but I like the faces

Phin -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 6:40:15 AM)
ohhh and the birthday spanking.... great stuff, they are the subject of so many jokes....

breatheasone -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 7:52:28 AM)
I really haven't had the occasion to do what the OP said, however my mother did say to me not long ago..."Your into the BSM aren't you?"(yes mom left out the D) Then continued..."Thats what that "necklace" stands for isn't it?" LOL...I said yes mom...he hangs me from the ceiling with it...LOL...

fluffyswitch -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 7:56:45 AM)
i tend not to joke about it because i'm really not fast enough on my feet to do it. but i have had a lot of experiences where i'll answer someone truthfully and they'll think that i just have an extremely dry sense of humor. there's a guy in my department who made a comment outside of class to the extent of what you'd let me spank you if you were bad? and i said yes. he gave me this look but didn't say anything.

Evility -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 9:22:50 AM)
I don't have a comment on the thread but this: "Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you." is outstanding.

Justme696 -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 10:13:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone I really haven't had the occasion to do what the OP said, however my mother did say to me not long ago..."Your into the BSM aren't you?"(yes mom left out the D) Then continued..."Thats what that "necklace" stands for isn't it?" LOL...I said yes mom...he hangs me from the ceiling with it...LOL... haha that one is great

ThistleDown -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 10:27:17 AM)
Once in the store, I was trying to pick out a jar of spaghetti sauce (what happened to good old fashioned tomatoes season-it-yourself version?) anyway, I finally picked one up off the shelf when Master decided that was a perfectly good time to kiss me. So he grabbed me by the collar, pulled me close and laid one on me.. and I dropped the jar which splattered all over the floor. When he let me go there was a little kid and his mom standing there and the kid said, "Uh oh! Somebody made a mess!" and I said "Yeah, I never believed them when they told me to hold on with both hands. Make sure you listen to your mom next time she tells you to hold something with both hands." so I dunno if that really fits in, but Master and I thought it was pretty funny so I thought I'd share.. ~Puppy

DesFIP -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 10:58:49 AM)
This kind of thing always seems to me to be a way of sneakily putting down the other person while patting your own back and telling yourself how much cooler you are than they are. I may not always know how I'm being put down, but I can always feel it and I don't like it. I think it's just plain rude. As far as The Man calling me up and telling me I have to do something out of the blue, not unless he knows my schedule. And the truth is, he's busy enough as is that he doesn't keep track of my appointments as well as his. So he could do it, but if I'm signed up to co-chair the Scholastic Book Fair, then I am going to be there all week long. Because I keep my word, to him, to my ums, to everyone. Intefrity is important to us. YMMV, of course.

NakedGirlScout -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 11:05:37 AM)
Yeah, if they just stop there and have nothing to say, maybe we've just made them feel uncomfortable. It may not be as funny for them as for the person making the joke. Then again most of these examples show that the other person was initiating the BDSM joke and just got stumped.

MsPhantasia -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 11:12:16 AM)
I intentionally forget to do something at work so the boss man has to remind me to do it. When he tells me to do it for the second time, I reply to him, "I like it when you beg."

softness -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 11:26:55 AM)
My entire working life is spent trying not to giggle am well known in the school for being very strict and giving the harshest punishments .. my co-workers also point out the ruthless efficiency with which i organise myself. they have never heard reference to a partner of anykind and i never "pull" at the work nights out, everyone was therefore convinced that i was a frigid, uptight man hating virgin then i went on "How to Look Good naked" .. as an interviewee and was topless on national television ... and then got caught on a night out with my more ... errr ... lifetsyle minded friends .... round town in killer heels and a very .. ummm .. small dress discussion rages on .. opinion now swinging into the "secret porn star" .... "dominatrix " camp ... and yet none of them ever ask ... lol .. if only they knew

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 11:53:22 AM)
In the right company I'll make comments that are gentle and humorous enough to be easily moved aside, but are a way of letting the other person know "If you really are curious and want to talk more, please do so."

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 12:02:52 PM)
It all comes down to knowing the person you are talking with. Same as with anything I think.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 4:19:34 PM)
Yeah, sometimes shock factor stuff is fun. Master Fire

Nineveh -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 4:46:39 PM)
I would guess the man who offered to tie you up and spank you was flirting, and covering it as a joke. Maybe I'm wrong, but being kinky isn't rare, even if being involved in the lifestyle is.

sblady -> RE: Jokes that are not (2/10/2008 4:59:13 PM)
I'm not sure if this is exactly what the op is referring to, however, my manager made a recent comment regarding my performance review. She followed it with "good girl" and the biggest grin spread across my face and I started giggling.[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m16.gif[/image] (I'm a newbie to this lifestyle so hearing "good girl" regardless of the source can cause a tingling sensation").

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