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Mercnbeth -> RE: Getting married (2/23/2008 7:17:03 AM)
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First, its funny to see this question today. Today - 5 years ago - was 'FIRST CONTACT' between us. I responded to beth's ad, not on CM, but another site that was free at the time, and is now affiliated with a pay site. It was, 'The first day of the rest of our life'! Looking back at the profiles we had at the time there was one similarity to go along with all the complimentary fantasies. Having been there and done THAT - we documented how we NEVER would be comfortable with married life again! HA! If he does exist, 'God' or 'The Great Architect' in beth's reference sure loves a challenge, and loves saying "Oh yeah?!? I'll just see about that!" to any such human belief in having absolute control over their destiny.
Regarding the ceremony, we consider that we had both, and called it 'vanilla with sprinkles'. A sunset ceremony in our front yard, immediate family, formal gown, tux, friends from both within and not in the 'lifestyle'. I think there were 6 people who attended that we met from CM. We mingled them at the tables and told our community friends to try and guess who knew WIITWD. A reception in the moonlight with 50 people around the pool; entertained by a wonderful little band. We had an ordained minister facilitate at the ceremony - a husband of a friend and business associate. We wrote our own vows. If you listened closely to the words, you may have been able to figure our their connection to the 'Master/slave' connotation; but it was just as likely they could be taken as more traditional 'formal' man/wife commitment. Either way, family and friends who 'knew' and 'didn't', there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
The honeymoon was also mixed. A few days recovering and relaxing from planning and getting our house ready at a Sonoma spa, followed by a weekend at the Folsom Fringe, culminated at the Folsom Street Fair, where beth wore a wedding veil, and not much more, and I a top hat along with the representative leather.
The entire event was ours. We researched doing the Vegas thing, the fly into some exotic location thing, and even a church thing. None seemed to fit. Through it all we were very selfish. We didn't consider anyone else's agenda but ours. Going into the process we knew it was going to be meaningful to us, but didn't know it would be THAT meaningful. It was very personal, and in the effort of full disclosure I (Merc) shed more tears than beth during the ceremony and exchange of vows, and its all on video so there's no use denying it as fact.
If we had one suggestion to give, it would be to do the same. Do what you want to do, what you are comfortable doing.
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