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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 11:54:12 AM

SailingBum

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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yep I'd do it. They might be the one. I don't want to be the one wondering "What would have happened if"

BadOne

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 12:27:00 PM

AMaster

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There was a time when I would have said never settle. However I now think that one should grasp every opportunity to learn and grow. Every encounter with another gives one that chance.

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 1:15:51 PM

SimplyMichael

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The OP asks a rather massive question, basically, what is the right thing to do, morally and emotionally. It depends is a crappy answer but the truth. If I was in one of those situations, I would first appraise my ability to handle the entirity of what an additional committment would require. I long ago learned how to say no to new partners but am only now learning to say no to other things like work and social committments.

The harder thing to do is to decide what you will allow the other to do. Is it your place to decide if the other partner is making good choices? I tend to error on that side. However, many would say if you act with integrity, explaining clearly what you are and are not offering, they are adults and need to live with whatever decision they make and you have no responsibility to "parent" then so to speak.

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 1:49:05 PM

ProlificNeeds

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Thank you all for your replies and insights, they've helped me put a more promising light on the issue.

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 2:26:54 PM

ottRopesandKnots

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
I'm not really at liberty to divulge details on the Dom in question, suffice to say I don't think his schedual is adjustable, and he choses to work a lot of over-time (Which may or may not change, that's his choice, not something I would willingly ask him to change, he enjoys his career very much. He does work a lot of over-nights, and usually 12 hour shifts though.)

Does this not set off alarm bells for anyone? If he's that interested he'd chose to spend his time with you, not working the overtime.

Now that doesn't mean you can't be friends with occasional benefits, just some friendly advice that you should really assess the situation if you have any expectations.

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 4:04:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Apropos question :)

It depends on where I feel I want things to go and whether I feel we can reasonably reach that.

I met a hot guy the other week and we hit it off right away. I was looking for a cute friendly regular fuck. Interestingly enough, he is exactly that to some people and has no problems being so.

EXCEPT, right now, he wants to get into a serious intimate long term relationship. That's not how I feel about him and certainly not what I can provide to him.

So, we hung out and found that we are very happy just being comfy and friendly with no pressure of play or sex.

It would be inappropriate of me to try and force someone into a situation they aren't fulfilled in, and I certainly won't choose it for myself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 5:41:45 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

So a situation, alter orientations and genders involved to suit your own. You meet someone under the context of friendship but both you and they are interested in exploring more and have both admitted as much to eachother. The bottom in the situation, has life obligations that require a great deal of time and responsibility. The top has a job which involves long shifts and many hours overall. So schedualling for anything more then the occasional get-together would obviously be hard.

Knowing right off both have time restrictions:
Would you keep things simply at a friendship level and not allow anything more to develop knowing it would add complication and stress to your life which is perhaps already stressful and complicated as it is? Maybe 'wait' until life simplifies and simply cherish a friendship?
How would you feel if you were on the other side of the equation, wanting to get in time together how ever infrequent, but the one you are attracted to draws the line at friendship for the time being?

To add lets say there's roughly 1.5 - 2 hours of driving between the two bodies in question, so 'quick' meets aren't exactly feasible.

If two people want something badly enough, they'll do whatever they must to make it happen, whether it be driving a long distance, flying to another city, or taking things as they come, when they can. If only one of those people wants it badly enough, it's not going to be worth the effort.

Friendship is great, as long as you're both on the same page. If not, someone's going to be dissatisfied. Been there often enough, have several t-shirts.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Mutually-Interesting Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 7:43:24 PM

batshalom

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~Fast Reply~

Enjoy each other. Leave off the what-iffing (because you can't predict or control the future regardless of how much you fixate on it) have fun, and be happy. You don't have to define your roles, what you will be to each other, or what direction your relationship will take. Relax.

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RE: Something better than nothing? - 1/29/2008 8:34:09 PM

daddysblondie

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When Daddy and I met last year his work schedule was the opposite of mine. He was going in to work while I was at work or right as I was getting home and wouldn't get home until I was asleep. Because of our schedules and the 45 minute to 1 1/2 hour drive between us, we were at best seeing each other every two weeks. After a few months, he ended things because he decided to take another job that would have him traveling quite a bit and he didn't want to try doing the LDR thing.

Fast forward 6 months later, after we had both been involved with other people and we ended up finding our way back together. My schedule is still pretty much the same, and the distance is still the same, but his schedule has changed a bit and it's like we were never apart.

If it's meant to be it will be, and the two in question will find a way to make it work. It can be difficult and challenging at times, but it can be worth it in the end if that's the person for you. I can say with a good amount of confidence that Daddy will say he wished he had handled things differently last year, but it's all worked out. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and I'm thrilled to be where I am now and stronger for each difficult experience in my life.

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