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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Very observant and well stated, Michael.
To Master another you must Master yourself, first.
And this does not mean you should be puuuuurrrfect.  However, you should have psychoanalyzed yourself enough to understand how a subliminal message can be internalized, and is so powerful,  that it affects you the rest of your life.
Yes, folks.  Hate to say it.  But there IS conditioning, brain-washing, or whatever you want to call it...in EVERY relationship.
Ever hear the expression, he who loves least, controls the relationship?  Or, knowledge is power?
The point with slave training (not to be confused with BDSM in general), is to "enmesh" the person to you.
It can be, and IS, done.
It is done to you from childhood, often (not always), in such an unhealthy way , that you don't even realize how it has affected you until adulthood.  And any dysfunctional programming will come out in a "relationship", or, inability to maintain one.  It will come out in addicitons, co-dependency (a huge part of submission, BTW. That should stir some shit.), over- eating, under-eating, self-mutalation, disrespect for authority, and many, many, other ways.
The point of this lifestyle is to "uncondition" or "debrief" all those unhealthy, internalized messages, and reprogram them.
And, sometimes, not to reprogram at all.  But to take the survival skills someone has developed over the years and turn them from self-destructive to constructive.  Skills are skills.  And all skills are good, it's the application of them that is often questionable.
What most don't understand, when delving into this psychological realm of "slave training" is that in this lifestyle it is "supposed" to be done "responsibly", with "purpose", and with "respect."
It is the MASTER'S/MISTRESS' responsibility to understand EXACTLY what they are doing.  And, if they choose to "enmesh" someone to them, they take the responsibility of meeting that person's needs, emotionally, physically, spiritually, menatally.
In fact, this "enmeshment" can get so deep, that "back in the days" a Master/Mistress would insure themselves so that if they were to suddenly die, their slave would have the financial means, as beneficiary, to have the time necessary to "re-socialize" themselves.  Think about THAT and the responsible nature of it all.
And, don't fool yourself for a second.  The Master/Mistress becomes just as "enmeshed."  That IS the beauty of it all.
It may look cold, calculated, to outsiders.  But, if you "really" knew, you would understand that it is a special dance between two people that is so deep, it goes beyond the "physical" bounds of vanilla relationships (or even the general BDSM population)  into a metaphysical journey that is beyond description, sex, touch.  It is an "enmeshing of souls".  An astounding, spiritual journey.
To go any deeper would take a book, and a lifetime to write it. 
But, if you are going to delve into this aspect of "slave" training, I suggest, wholeheartedly, that you DO FIND A MENTOR, who is reputable, responsible, and experienced in "these" ways. 
To take the suggestions of some here no to do so, if you really want to do this, is IRRESPONSIBLE.
A good mentor will help you learn about yourself, FIRST.
And, those introspects, alone, will be what enable you to see how what you do affects another.

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Take what you want, and leave the rest behind.
I'm not selling anying.  Just sharing what I've learned.
Someone asked our thoughts. Those are mine.
Nuff said.

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

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ORIGINAL: charlotte12

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ORIGINAL: MadRabbit



The second thought that comes to mind is that you should spent less time asking about other slave's and submissives and more timing asking your slave/submissive.

As a side note to this i would also suggest spending less time listening to an "Experienced Dom" and more time asking yourself what it is you would like to focus on in your training of your pet. I am all for getting experience people to teach you how to do something like fireplay for example, or learning how to flog someone without injuring them (too horribly [;)] ,) but be careful that you don't let someone else's definiton of what a Master/slave dynamic is affect how you and your pet see it. One can learn how to use certain toys etc. but i would be hesitant of anyone who claims they can teach you how to be a Master. That has to do with what it means personally to you. Not to say that having a mentor or someone with a lot of experience to talk with isn't helpful. I just don't buy into the notion of "slave training" in the abstract. Only you can train your pet to be the pet you want to own.

Good  luck with everything.

charlotte

PS. Cherry....are you sure you're not my long lost sister? [:)]

I don't want this to seem like a rebuttal, because you do make a lot of good points as far as what to avoid. However, in my first power based relationship, I had a much older and experienced man I had befriended who I called frequently. He did me the wonderful favor of knocking down my lofty expectations and putting things in perspective. The experience was probably the most beneficial for me, because in that period of time I quickly crossed over the gap between fantasy and Internet theory to pragmatic reality.

Of course, I picked someone who actually knew what the hell he was talking about which can't be said for a lot of the bags of hot air passing themselves off as Mentors.

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  I'd also like it line-dried to prevent shrinkage.  

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ORIGINAL: catize

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  I'd also like it line-dried to prevent shrinkage.  

Has the added bonus of clothes pin play!

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ORIGINAL: Ryugen

Now, I realise this worry of mine could just be caused by my lack of understanding as to how on earth an s-type could gain such pleasure and satisfaction from serving another (as while I can accept it and know it, I still don't understand it). It still worries me that slave training might be sepressing the s-type's personality and self-expression. Any tales, testimonies, or stories that may reassure me about slave training are very welcome.
 

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Take what you want, and leave the rest behind.
I'm not selling anying.  Just sharing what I've learned.
Someone asked our thoughts. Those are mine.
Nuff said.

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Everyone moves at their own pace.
Myself included.
And, thank you very much for your kind words.

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ORIGINAL: Ryugen

it appears to me to be a form of mental moulding. It appears to be behaviour alteration, which I similarly relate to Pavlov's dog, if you're familiar with the experiments. While I realise many an s-type does indeed desire the activities of slave training, the regularitiy, the reminder of their place, and the approval of their Master, the degree of bahvioural training still has me worried.
 
It'd be great if I could get responses from the s-types as to why you submit, how it makes you feel, and what you get out of it. Also from everyone it'd be great to get some reassurance that slave training does not inhibit an s-types ability to express themselves and be who they are.

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ORIGINAL: Bodhisattva007

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Take what you want, and leave the rest behind.
I'm not selling anying.  Just sharing what I've learned.
Someone asked our thoughts. Those are mine.
Nuff said.

Your original post said it all, and very accurately. Those who disagree may be scared to test the boundaries .......... self enlightenment can be a very scary proposition ........... it is sometimes much safer to "stay on the porch"  :-)

John

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if it weren't for all those pesky emotions!".....LMAO

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ORIGINAL: Bodhisattva007

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ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

Take what you want, and leave the rest behind.
I'm not selling anying.  Just sharing what I've learned.
Someone asked our thoughts. Those are mine.
Nuff said.

Your original post said it all, and very accurately. Those who disagree may be scared to test the boundaries .......... self enlightenment can be a very scary proposition ........... it is sometimes much safer to "stay on the porch"  :-)

John