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Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 4:13:41 PM

MrKite

Posts: 94
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

I see a lot of sub/slave profiles that have many simularities. The general theme is that they are looking for a dom/master that knows how to meet thier needs. I see this as one sided. When I see these profiles my first thought is do they know how to meet my needs?
I'm not kvetching or saying its right or wrong and I'm not looking for specific opinions from any one. I just thought it would make a good thread.

_____________________________

If it feels good, do it.

Post #: 1

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 4:22:42 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

It is really hard to list another person's needs in your profile. How on Earth could a submissive list someone else's needs? I find people that know what they want and need to be extremely attractive, I would hope dominants felt the same way.

I think it gives someone great insight into another to see what they feel they need in a relationship. It also helps the person reading it determine how compatible they would be with that person.

In glancing at your profile I see you need someone that will ask you no questions once their contract is signed, someone amiable to poly, someone in the real world, someone discrete, and someone who does not seek marriage. Perhaps you did not list these things as "needs", but it reads that way to me.

My question is this, do you think submissives shouldn't have needs, or that a submissive's needs are less valid? Just checking

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 2

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 4:39:49 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKite

I see a lot of sub/slave profiles that have many simularities. The general theme is that they are looking for a dom/master that knows how to meet thier needs. I see this as one sided. When I see these profiles my first thought is do they know how to meet my needs?
I'm not kvetching or saying its right or wrong and I'm not looking for specific opinions from any one. I just thought it would make a good thread.

Julia said what was on my mind; and she said it so much nicer than I would have

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 3

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 4:40:19 PM

lauren0221

Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

You can learn a lot from reading people's profiles, and what they consider their needs to be. The trick is to find a situation where needs are mutually met. Generally, one way streets don't work so well, and if the submissive's list of needs don't mesh with your needs, well then you know to move along to the next profile.

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 4

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 4:43:28 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKite

I see a lot of sub/slave profiles that have many simularities. The general theme is that they are looking for a dom/master that knows how to meet thier needs. I see this as one sided. When I see these profiles my first thought is do they know how to meet my needs?
I'm not kvetching or saying its right or wrong and I'm not looking for specific opinions from any one. I just thought it would make a good thread.

Julia said what was on my mind; and she said it so much nicer than I would have

I wish I knew what you were going to say, you know there is room for a little naughty with the nice... it goes together like salt and pepper. (within the TOS)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 5

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 4:58:54 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

You subs/slaves don't know how to fill out a profile that fills most uberdomlygodlike ones needs?!! I am SHOCKED!
and appalled, too!
Ok, here's what you do.

Hello oh future GreatMasterUberDomlyGodlikeOne;

I bow before your virtual presence. I tremble at the thought of your fingers stroking the keys.
I have been waiting for You to come and find me, so that I may serve you in all ways.
I will be Your willing slut, always available, always hot, and always ready.
If I am not enough for You, oh GreatOne, I will happily seek out other horny virgin slaves to share in the nectar that is Your love.
Not that I deserve love, for I am but a lowly slut, not worthy of one such as You.
If You like watersports, that will be my heart's desire.
If you like to hear me beg, rest assured that I will kneel by your bed, and beg you off to sleep every night, and then go curl up in whatever corner you have seen fit to allow me. (if any at all.) If not, I will quietly disappear into thin air until such time as You require me.
If You want to cyber first, let me know. I have a web-cam, and have no problem performing for You, Master. I know my 38-24-32 body is not worthy of even a glance from You, but, I crave it above all things.
I await You, patiently.
In service,
justahornyslavegirlforyou

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 6

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 5:04:25 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Im off the hook, my Daddy helped me write my profile, it was approved by the NDA (National Dominant Association - for those of you who have not acquired your profile approval go to www.nationaldomassociation.com )

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 1/15/2008 5:05:42 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 7

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:07:25 PM

MrKite

Posts: 94
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

I had a slave from Kentucky once but I had to let her go. She lost her tooth.

_____________________________

If it feels good, do it.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 8

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:16:31 PM

txbound

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You subs/slaves don't know how to fill out a profile that fills most uberdomlygodlike ones needs?!! I am SHOCKED!
and appalled, too!
Ok, here's what you do.

Hello oh future GreatMasterUberDomlyGodlikeOne;

I bow before your virtual presence. I tremble at the thought of your fingers stroking the keys.
I have been waiting for You to come and find me, so that I may serve you in all ways.
I will be Your willing slut, always available, always hot, and always ready.
If I am not enough for You, oh GreatOne, I will happily seek out other horny virgin slaves to share in the nectar that is Your love.
Not that I deserve love, for I am but a lowly slut, not worthy of one such as You.
If You like watersports, that will be my heart's desire.
If you like to hear me beg, rest assured that I will kneel by your bed, and beg you off to sleep every night, and then go curl up in whatever corner you have seen fit to allow me. (if any at all.) If not, I will quietly disappear into thin air until such time as You require me.
If You want to cyber first, let me know. I have a web-cam, and have no problem performing for You, Master. I know my 38-24-32 body is not worthy of even a glance from You, but, I crave it above all things.
I await You, patiently.
In service,
justahornyslavegirlforyou

I haven't laughed this hard in awhile. Thank you for that! LOL
I can only imagine the replies and tidal wave of emails that would ensue should someone put that up.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 9

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:18:58 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

You subs/slaves don't know how to fill out a profile that fills most uberdomlygodlike ones needs?!! I am SHOCKED!
and appalled, too!
Ok, here's what you do.

Hello oh future GreatMasterUberDomlyGodlikeOne;

I bow before your virtual presence. I tremble at the thought of your fingers stroking the keys.
I have been waiting for You to come and find me, so that I may serve you in all ways.
I will be Your willing slut, always available, always hot, and always ready.
If I am not enough for You, oh GreatOne, I will happily seek out other horny virgin slaves to share in the nectar that is Your love.
Not that I deserve love, for I am but a lowly slut, not worthy of one such as You.
If You like watersports, that will be my heart's desire.
If you like to hear me beg, rest assured that I will kneel by your bed, and beg you off to sleep every night, and then go curl up in whatever corner you have seen fit to allow me. (if any at all.) If not, I will quietly disappear into thin air until such time as You require me.
If You want to cyber first, let me know. I have a web-cam, and have no problem performing for You, Master. I know my 38-24-32 body is not worthy of even a glance from You, but, I crave it above all things.
I await You, patiently.
In service,
justahornyslavegirlforyou

and you know what is really, really sad....I have actually seen submissive/slave profiles on the other side stating almost exactly this

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 10

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:20:52 PM

ExpressiveSoul1

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

I feel that it is extremely important for a person to know and be able to articulate their own needs, submissive or Dominant. If you don't know what you need how can you properly function in a relationship? How can you know what you have to offer another? Everyone has a personal responsibility to their own happiness.

As a Dominant, I find it very frustrating to talk with a submissive only to hear what they think I want to hear. "I want what you want" is not only improbable 100% of the time but it gives the Dominant no insight on areas for growth and development.

That being said, many people confuse needs and wants. Needs are essential, wants are desirable. Understanding your own needs and wants is also important.

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 11

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:34:13 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I like it when a submissive can clearly articulate what THEY want from the relationship with the dominant. Does that mean that I am on board to give them all those things? Hell no! I'm not their mom! <G>

I enter into relationships with other people, and how will I know if we are going to be a match if I have no clue what they need, want, or *don't* want? Certainly, I hope that he or she will want to make me a happy dominant, but "oh, I'll do anything for you!" claims given before we have even met make me into an object, not a person, and I am not into that at all.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to ExpressiveSoul1)

Post #: 12

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:35:03 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKite

I had a slave from Kentucky once but I had to let her go. She lost her tooth.

It's very lucky for me that my HoneyMaster is a well-respected professional in the dental field. (He even wrote a book!) (really)

~Christina

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 13

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:39:28 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I can't possibly meet everyone else's needs. I can't even begin to guess at them. All I can do is be sufficiently self aware to know what my needs are, and to be articulate enough to convey them to others.

At that point it's their responsibility to know their own needs well enough to decide if there is enough compatibility that we might match. And their responsibility to tell me what their needs are so I can also judge whether or not I see enough compatibility.

Your needs are your responsibility always. Just as I bear the responsibility for mine.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 14

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 7:42:10 PM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

If both people in a relationship can not meet each others needs and wants, what's the point to having a relationship to begin with?

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 15

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 8:17:49 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKite

When I see these profiles my first thought is do they know how to meet my needs?

Easy: You tell me what your needs are and I see if I can meet them.

I'm not going to spend hours trying to find out how to the meet the needs of someone I don't even know exists yet!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 16

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 9:11:17 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Disclaimer - the following is my opinion... and my opinion only.

In any relationship there are (at least) two people. Each person has needs - that is the nature of humanity. And in order to feed one's soul, psyche, essence, one also needs to have certain other "non-necessary needs" met. It is in this realm, that many submissives/slaves might find themselves saying what they "need."

You know, we don't just fall on our knees and agree to doing whatever another tells us to do. We have certain things that rev us up... and certain ones that make us screech to a stop... and many somewhere in between. These things don't necessarily need to be sexual or bdsm related. They may be sports or dance, video games or cooking. But they give us joy. If we are to bring our best selves to a relationship - whether bdsm or vanilla - we need to be fulfilled. To serve at our best, we need to be fulfilled... to some degree over time. Do we (or anyone) need immediate, 24/7 fulfillment? No. We can sustain for certain periods of time, but in the end, every person has needs.

For some of us, a need to serve is a strong pull... We may or may not express that in our profiles, but I think that a Dom would want an s type who had that need... and in order to have that need fulfilled, others are necessary too. I can't serve if I don't have proper sleep, nutrition, intellectual stimulation, freedom from fear, friendships, etc.,

It reminds me of my car. My car runs ok with the heater on. Not great, but ok. But it runs wonderfully without the heater. My heater does really well when my car is warmed up. I have to decide which is more important... my immediate desire for warmth or can I wait a bit? There are times I need the heater - like the winter.... but other times I don't. Usually I wait and let the car warm up. however, if I'm so cold that my hands are shaking and I need to get somewhere right away, I will turn the heat on and deal with my car shaking.

You asked "do they know how to meet my needs?" Well no... to quote my grandma (remember her?)... I don't know you from a can of beans. But you can see a profile and at least put that person in the "no go" pile or the "go" pile. Over time, it will become clearer whether a sub does in fact know how to meet your needs, is able to be trained to meet your needs (if you want to train her) or just is not a good match.

That's rather the purpose of the profiles in my opinion - the go / no go for intimate relationships as well as friendship... It is beyond the computer screen that we find if we can meet each other's needs. If you see on a profile that something is a hard limit - say extreme body modification - andt you are into, then you know that girl is in the "no go" pile.... but if you find that her likes and loves are similar to yours (which many of the gals here will be), she can go into the "go" pile and then you get to know them a bit and decide if they stay in the "go" pile or move to the "no go", "friends only", "don't go there" pile... however you label your groupings.

So, no we don't know if we can meet your needs, but we do know what we need, and hopefully you know that as well about yourself. From reading your profile, it seems you do.

Or maybe, it's all just a crap shoot.

peace.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)

Post #: 17

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/15/2008 9:25:58 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

How I see it is the profile is akin to a resume. It is to outline who you are as a person and often includes what the interests are, likes, dislikes, wants, needs and desires. We hope there is something in our profile that will cause a Dom to stop and take notice. It's the period before a more serious commitment is used to learn in greater detail our wants, needs and desires and where we learn the same from a potential owner.
Granted when we fill a out a profile , we have no specific idea what you (the Dom) needs and if we are able to fill those needs. That is where further correspondance takes place to determine if we subs are able to fill your needs and thusly our needs are also met.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 18

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 7:24:17 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

"Hello oh future GreatMasterUberDomlyGodlikeOne;
I bow before your virtual presence. I tremble at the thought of your fingers stroking the keys.
I have been waiting for You to come and find me, so that I may serve you in all ways.
I will be Your willing slut, always available, always hot, and always ready.
If I am not enough for You, oh GreatOne, I will happily seek out other horny virgin slaves to share in the nectar that is Your love.
Not that I deserve love, for I am but a lowly slut, not worthy of one such as You.
If You like watersports, that will be my heart's desire.
If you like to hear me beg, rest assured that I will kneel by your bed, and beg you off to sleep every night, and then go curl up in whatever corner you have seen fit to allow me. (if any at all.) If not, I will quietly disappear into thin air until such time as You require me.
If You want to cyber first, let me know. I have a web-cam, and have no problem performing for You, Master. I know my 38-24-32 body is not worthy of even a glance from You, but, I crave it above all things.
I await You, patiently.
In service,
justahornyslavegirlforyou"

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey...I LIKE THAT!!! ROFL

< Message edited by MistressVnus -- 1/16/2008 7:26:58 AM >

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 19

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 7:29:25 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

I would/do often wonder if they know what their needs are.

"Looking for Dominant who can meet my needs...." Like what??!!

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to MrKite)

Post #: 20

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