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RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 7:33:12 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

I would/do often wonder if they know what their needs are.

"Looking for Dominant who can meet my needs...." Like what??!!

"Whatever YOU want, Mistress!"

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 21

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 7:37:12 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Hey blushes. Can I copy that into my profile for what Im looking for in a sub.

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Post #: 22

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 7:40:02 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

I CAN DO that need!!! *chuckle*
However, my first response would be...."be careful what you ask for"

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Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

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Post #: 23

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 9:50:17 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Hey blushes. Can I copy that into my profile for what Im looking for in a sub.

Of course! Would you like me add something else? Pony play, electroplay, housework?...
(that's a hard limit for me, of course)

~Christina

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Post #: 24

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 1:14:14 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

*laughs* i met my first dominant through an ad on yahoo personals.

it read something along the lines of "this is who i am (short list of things). if you can handle it, please, message me and we'll talk. if not, dont bother because not one of those things are going to change just because YOU want them to."

i got 20 messages on the first day, and not one of them asked me to change a bit about myself. james just happened to be the best emotional fit with me.

i didnt list a whole lot of things on my profile here, either. Daddy still found me and likes what he got.

kitten

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Post #: 25

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 1:31:14 PM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

If both people in a relationship can not meet each others needs and wants, what's the point to having a relationship to begin with?

yup, it's all about the communication

~meticulous~

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Post #: 26

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 4:12:31 PM

NaiveTempest

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I can't possibly meet everyone else's needs. I can't even begin to guess at them. All I can do is be sufficiently self aware to know what my needs are, and to be articulate enough to convey them to others.

Maybe this is my problem. I seem to have issues conveying my needs/wants/interests properly I guess. For one, I always add qualifiers, because how will I know unless I try it a time or so? And what sucked with one person, may be 'da bomb' (hehe) with another. And how do you not cross the "I'm telling you to do this to me" line when conveying those needs/wants/interests? How would you word yourself? Color me confused.

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"All the things I should have said that I never said/All the things we should have done that we never did/All the things I should have given, but I didn't.../Give me these moments back..."

Kate Bush, "This Woman's Work"

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Post #: 27

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 4:27:44 PM

charmdpetKeira

Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrKite

I see a lot of sub/slave profiles that have many simularities. The general theme is that they are looking for a dom/master that knows how to meet thier needs. I see this as one sided. When I see these profiles my first thought is do they know how to meet my needs?

I used to feel the same way about profiles of Doms that read in a reversed fashion. (Stuff like “I will teach you what you wish to learn”. I thought “How how can they know what my needs are, let alone my wants, when they don’t know me?”

Perhaps the two types are meant for each other.

k

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There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

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Post #: 28

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 7:11:26 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I can't possibly meet everyone else's needs. I can't even begin to guess at them. All I can do is be sufficiently self aware to know what my needs are, and to be articulate enough to convey them to others.

Maybe this is my problem. I seem to have issues conveying my needs/wants/interests properly I guess. For one, I always add qualifiers, because how will I know unless I try it a time or so? And what sucked with one person, may be 'da bomb' (hehe) with another. And how do you not cross the "I'm telling you to do this to me" line when conveying those needs/wants/interests? How would you word yourself? Color me confused.

Easy. Put stuff in lists. One list is stuff you absolutely need. In that list I put bondage, lots of sex, affection, affirmation.

Then a list of stuff you won't ever do, stuff that squicks you, stuff that gives you panic attacks etc. My list includes scat, inverted suspension, golf (except miniature), duct tape gags.

Then the list of stuff you aren't sure about but are willing to try in certain circumstances. Possibly at a workshop under supervision, or only after you've been together for a long time. For example, I wouldn't do knife play first thing with him, now I'm really interested in him cutting my clothes off me with a knife while growling at me to keep still or else. It took a lot of time for the relationship to get to this point. And it wouldn't ever have gotten here if we weren't committed to each other, which I said. I don't try risky stuff until later on after I know the relationship is good. Also in this list I also put watersports. It holds no real interest for me but I am willing to try it in the shower with the warm water on for the first time. I'm not drinking it though, that's in the no way list.

Stuff you aren't sure about but are willing to try to see if it's different with him or it might grow on you go on that list. A list that says you aren't making any guarantees. That tells him where you stand. And if you exploring doesn't work for him, then you aren't compatible.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 29

RE: Meeting needs. - 1/16/2008 8:34:06 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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You focus not on the needs of one, but on the needs of a relationship..Tempting

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You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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Post #: 30