SSC essay

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EricaTheRed -> SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:35:06 PM)
Do you practice SSC or do you follow RACK? The following is an essay I wrote 5 years ago while living the life of a submissive. I had the opportunity to give a speech about what I would add to the Safe, Sane, Consensual Creed that many Leatherfolk use as a mantra to show the world that we are not abusers. My first response on hearing the question was, "oh, a little intelligence and common sense, wouldn't go amiss". But examination of my own life proved that I had not practiced either one in the pursuit of my great want to live a life of service to a beloved Master. And when I looked at SSC with clearer eyes I realized that is did not satisfy my need as basis for lifestyle goals. This year the 911 trajedy showed us that none of us are safe anywhere anytime. Safety is simply a construct, a fluid standard whereby we can only define one activity as safer than another one. Self-righteously we compare our play, our lives to others giving us a false sense of superiority. And Sanity is even more troublesome a concept. The relgious zealots who picket our events are not sane. But neither am I sane when my most visceral reation to someone putting a knife to my throat is to lean into it. So for me, Consensuality was the only thing of consequence. Am I, everyday, choosing my life? Do I both choose my life and take full responsibility for the choices I make, both good a bad? I want to live my life making conscious effort to own my responsibility and learn everyday from the mistakes of yesterday and strive to make better ones tomorrow. Slogans can be useful rituals, a sign post that says start your path here, more information will follow. What do I wish to add to SSC? I fervently hope that as we pursue our traditions, create new ones, discard old ones we temper every choice with Forgiveness. I hope that dominants can find forgiveness for their submissives when their imperfections hinder their performance of their contracted duties. I hope submissives can forgive their dominants who really can't live up to the god-like omnipotence of a fiction novel. And as much as we need to extend forgiveness to others we need to claim that same forgiveness for ourselves. Without forgiveness, regret for past mistakes will slow or stop our progress in our respective journeys.

tegantwo -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:38:52 PM)
i'm very new....so i'm going to ask...what is RACK?

GreedyTop -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:43:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tegantwo i'm very new....so i'm going to ask...what is RACK? Risk Aware Consensual Kink

beargonewild -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:43:22 PM)
R risk A aware C consensual K kink

GreedyTop -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:44:21 PM)
Beautifully written, Erica....

Rover -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:54:02 PM)
Disclaimer... Do not mischaracterize this reply as me telling you that you're "wrong". I'm simply contrasting your view with my own. quote: ORIGINAL: EricaTheRed And when I looked at SSC with clearer eyes I realized that is did not satisfy my need as basis for lifestyle goals. Who is advocating SSC (or RACK for that matter) as a lifestyle goal? Are they not decision making processes by which you can assess whether or not you wish to engage in specific activities/dynamics with specific partners? quote: This year the 911 trajedy showed us that none of us are safe anywhere anytime. Safety is simply a construct, a fluid standard whereby we can only define one activity as safer than another one. Self-righteously we compare our play, our lives to others giving us a false sense of superiority. I wasn't aware that SSC was used as a comparative tool. For all these years I've used it strictly on a personal level in order to make decisons that are relevant exclusively to me on an individual level. quote: And Sanity is even more troublesome a concept. The relgious zealots who picket our events are not sane. But neither am I sane when my most visceral reation to someone putting a knife to my throat is to lean into it. To begin, I don't view those with differing opinions as insane... no matter how vehemently I may disagree with them. And I'm not sure I would characterize as insane, those extreme fantasies (as mentioned above) that, if fulfilled, would be nonconsensual and/or cause undue (yeah, admittedly relative term, but then SSC is designed to yield relative results) harm. Insanity would be fulfilling those fantasies, in my opinion. quote: So for me, Consensuality was the only thing of consequence. Am I, everyday, choosing my life? Do I both choose my life and take full responsibility for the choices I make, both good a bad? I want to live my life making conscious effort to own my responsibility and learn everyday from the mistakes of yesterday and strive to make better ones tomorrow. I'm all for personal responsibility, and would not engage in any sort of relationship with someone who was not themselves personally responsible. quote: Slogans can be useful rituals, a sign post that says start your path here, more information will follow. What do I wish to add to SSC? I fervently hope that as we pursue our traditions, create new ones, discard old ones we temper every choice with Forgiveness. I hope that dominants can find forgiveness for their submissives when their imperfections hinder their performance of their contracted duties. I hope submissives can forgive their dominants who really can't live up to the god-like omnipotence of a fiction novel. And as much as we need to extend forgiveness to others we need to claim that same forgiveness for ourselves. Without forgiveness, regret for past mistakes will slow or stop our progress in our respective journeys. Eh, sounds a bit much like the confessional inherent to my Catholicism. John

AquaticSub -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 12:55:36 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Sanity is not nearly as clear cut as we would like the term to be. Even entering into the relationship with Valyraen, given the circumstances, was illogical - it was almost certainly doomed by the law of rebounding. Yet we are still here. I love it when he opens my skin with his fangs but I can not understand why anyone wants to climb Mt. Everest when so many people have died doing it. Looking at it from a cold point of view, doing something that you don't have to do that has a decent chance of killing, like Everest, isn't sane either. But it's a challenge and those who climb, enjoy it for their own reasons so it seems perfectly logical and sane to them. Just as wanting Valyraen to lap at my blood seems perfectly sane and logical to me.

eyesopened -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 1:27:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EricaTheRed we temper every choice with Forgiveness. I hope that dominants can find forgiveness for their submissives when their imperfections hinder their performance of their contracted duties. I hope submissives can forgive their dominants who really can't live up to the god-like omnipotence of a fiction novel. And as much as we need to extend forgiveness to others we need to claim that same forgiveness for ourselves. Without forgiveness, regret for past mistakes will slow or stop our progress in our respective journeys. personally, i would do not need to forgive my Master for not being god-like nor do i seek forgiveness for not being perfect. These things are not transgresions in need of forgiving. Acceptance might be a better word but frankly i cannot expect everyone to accept me, like me, agree with me, respect me or even tolerate me. The best i can do is to accept, like, respect and tolerate myself and strive to be the best person i can be. i strive to recognize that other people are unique human beings who also have hopes, dreams, fears and struggles and that in that aspect they are not so unlike me. Your essay was beautifully written and i do thank you for sharing it. i learn by hearing the thoughts and opinions of others.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 1:35:17 PM)
Something I found odd in moving to Texas is that people here seem to categorize kinky play into "SSC" or "RACK" as if one type of play is inherently "riskier" than another and somehow that means RACK is riskier than SSC. Weird.

ownedgirlie -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 1:41:39 PM)
LA, I've seen that very same philosophy implied here on CM.

slavegirljoy -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 2:08:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EricaTheRed Do you practice SSC or do you follow RACK? Neither. i believe in practicing EARL, Everyday Awareness of Risky Living. We live in a risky world. Between the drunk drivers and the natural disasters, such as bad storms and wildfires and earthquakes, there are also, mechanical failures and human errors that cause planes, buses, trains and big rigs to crash, along with the random acts of violence that can happen to anyone. A young woman goes out for a nice hike in a park, with her dog and ends up brutally murdered. People fall off ladders, slip on icy walkways and accidentally hit the gas when they meant to hit the brake. Then, of course, their are the numerous diseases that can strike, including the flu or meningitis or an STD. So, why would i be overly concerned about being hurt by a whip (or any other implement of pain and torture) in the hand of someone i have spent time finding out about and developing a trusting relationship with? i'm not someone who allows just anyone to 'use and abuse' me. If i was unsure of the person's character and integrity and moral standards, i wouldn't pull down my pants and bend over. Everyday i am aware of my surroundings and what's happening around me. i can't control every danger that life, in general, poses, but i can control what i do and make myself as safety-conscious as i can reasonable be, without hiding in a closet all the time. i take first aid and CPR classes from the Red Cross, wear my helmet and obey the rules of the road when i ride my bicycle, stay on marked trails and never hike alone, and i pay attention to what i'm doing and, if i see something that looks dangerous, i either do something to correct it or i get the heck away from it. That way, i can still enjoy my life without being afraid all the time but, also without being stupid and careless about it. joyOwned servant of Master David

ownedgirlie -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 2:17:51 PM)
Great post, joy. I live by the rules of my Master - no acronym there. I do want to say, for what it's worth, some of the safety warnings that I see have actually had a negative effect on me. Just the other day, while I was bound, clamped to death, and whipped, what do you think entered my mind? Was it how to deal with the pain? Was it focus on my Master? Was it my servitude to him? No! It was, "OMG How long have these clamps been on me? Has it been more than a half an hour? Am I going to suffer nerve damage? Etc. And I found myself feeling really resentful over the safety police who, subsequently, put such thoughts in my head as to divert my focus from my Master who is well equipped to deal with my body, and onto myself. So in the midst of an incredible experience, my thoughts were interrupted and I had to contend with vehemently pushing such negative thoughts out of my head so that I could relax and be in the moment. And, however long it was, my nipples didn't fall off and I did not suffer any permanent damage. So, I believe in my Master's knowledge. That's the only thing I need to consider.

slavegirljoy -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 2:29:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Great post, joy. So, I believe in my Master's knowledge. That's the only thing I need to consider. Thank you. And, i agree that believing in my Master's ability to know what is and isn't safe for me frees my mind from senseless worry and allows me to just feel the pain and subsequent pleasure of "not having my nipples fall off" when they are clamped forever, too. [;)] BTW, i went with the acronym, EARL, but i was considering PERM, Practical Everyday Risk Management. joy Owned servant of Master David

stef -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 2:57:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EricaTheRed Do you practice SSC or do you follow RACK? No. I practice common sense. No cute acronyms need apply. ~stef

DaggerDom -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 3:20:32 PM)
The only good thing about SSC is the look that people get on their faces when you say, "Oh, we never worry about that nonsense."

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 3:33:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: EricaTheRed Do you practice SSC or do you follow RACK? No. I practice common sense. No cute acronyms need apply. ~stef Well said! Any submissive woman I'd be interested in would have the sense to make sure I knew her limits. I might negotiate a change in those limits, but such negotiation would still be based on common sense. I don't think that makes me less of a Dominant. Your milage may vary. Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

Lordandmaster -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 3:34:57 PM)
That's a nice post, Erica. Most people waste their first post on some kind of complaint about the site or other bullshit. I used to say I practice UIN--unsafe, insane, non-consensual--but that was really just to annoy people.

DesFIP -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 6:11:00 PM)
We would be more characterized as SSC than RISK simply because we aren't into s & m, just bondage and we don't do suspensions or long term bondage.

ItalianSMistress -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 6:11:13 PM)
My style is more likely to fall into RACK, and I state that upfront in My profile.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: SSC essay (1/12/2008 6:12:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP We would be more characterized as SSC than RISK simply because we aren't into s & m, just bondage and we don't do suspensions or long term bondage. That's what I mentioned- what does a type of play have to do with being "SSC" or "RISK" or "RACK" or anything?

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