Experienced vs. Inexperienced (Full Version)

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NewPleasures -> Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:32:59 PM)

Do Dominant men prefer experienced or inexperienced submissive women and why?

This question isn't just for Dominant men to answer.



takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:50:54 PM)

When my Owner found out that i had no experience. He was thrilled. He said that it would be even a deeper meaning of Ownership, because he was the first and only one. He covets that fact.  



NewPleasures -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:51:55 PM)

I don't have any experience and I wonder if that makes me more or less desirable.



KnOcala -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:53:15 PM)

I would prefer a willing submissive who shares my interests and we understand each others limits and desires.




liefmeiske -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:53:16 PM)

I think that experience doesn't really matter. It is you he should be interested in.. not the ammount of years you spent in the lifestyle/scene



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:56:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NewPleasures

Do Dominant men prefer experienced or inexperienced submissive women and why?


I can't speak for all Dominant men, but, for me, attitude is much more important than experience.  I can teach you what I want you to do...you just have to be open to learning it.

Taggard



mistoferin -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:56:10 PM)

It depends on the Dominant. There are some Dominants who only want newbies because they want to train them or because they think they will be more Godlike in the submissives eyes. Some Dominants are also intimidated by an experienced submissive. Then there are some Dominants who will only consider submissives of experience. It really does boil down to a Dominant's personal preference. Personally I don't understand it much....when two people get together they are both new and unchartered territory to each other.



Rover -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:57:51 PM)

I prefer "good people" (subjectively defined by me) with whom I'm compatible.  Their level of experience isn't of the least consideration to me.  Though it will have an obvious impact on the development of a relationship in determining what is taught (or untaught, in the case of many experienced submissives/slaves) and at what pace the implimentation of a dynamic can take place.
 
John



lablancsecret -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:58:15 PM)

In my (truly) humble opinion, experience matters more for subs choosing Doms than it does for Doms choosing subs.

I'm not going to trust my safety and body to a man who I don't know if he can handle the responsibilty, or if he obviously doesn't understand the basics of D/s interactions.
However, many Doms seem excited to teach and break in a sub, before anyone else has the chance to.



lilabbotsfordgrl -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:58:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NewPleasures

I don't have any experience and I wonder if that makes me more or less desirable.


Daddy found me when I was little and I'm so happy.  19 now and so in love.  Every day I'm glad I belong to him.  He's said many times that he wouldn't have wanted it any other way, and neither would I!  He'd love to find another girl without experience but with the willingness to submit.  If she craves control (and has a naughty mind) then he (and I!) would love to find her.  I hope that helps answer your question.

(Most dominants that I've run into on this site and others are looking for well-trained submissives with lots of experience, however.)



NewPleasures -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 1:58:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

...when two people get together they are both new and unchartered territory to each other.


I totally agree.



FRSguy -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:02:46 PM)

I am sure it depends on the Dom but for me personaly inexperienced I think is better or I should say more fun however someone experienced that share the same feelings I do and willing to put up with me is of course great.  I would never make the determination of wether or not I wanted to be in a relationship based on experince.  When it does come to the inexperienced there are a few question like..... Do you know what you are getting yourself into?  Why do you want to explore it? kind of a sure  you can handle this type of thing.  I am very leary of first timer type stuff because I know that once they experienced extream sex the road back to vanilla is next to imposible so I guess you could also say that it depends on how much I like the person and how much I want to play counsoler or not. You might say that really good answers to really good questions will get you everywhere.



NewPleasures -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:05:58 PM)

Have you encountered a lot of women who were inexperienced and wanted to learn about this lifestyle only to then decide it wasn't for them after the experience?



FRSguy -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:08:14 PM)

Actually no I havent.  I usually try to figure out why they want the in ... sometimes woman get dumped by jerks or they are even jerks and get dumped and somehow they think that the DS dynamic is a solution to some of there problems... those types I try to stay away from really doing anything with.  Sometimes, its the key they have been looking for all there lives.



mistoferin -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:10:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lablancsecret

In my (truly) humble opinion, experience matters more for subs choosing Doms than it does for Doms choosing subs.

I'm not going to trust my safety and body to a man who I don't know if he can handle the responsibilty, or if he obviously doesn't understand the basics of D/s interactions.
However, many Doms seem excited to teach and break in a sub, before anyone else has the chance to.



But how would you determine that? I've got to tell you that I know a fair number of Dominants who have been around 20+ years who aren't as skilled as some of the men who have only been doing it for a few years.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:11:36 PM)

I used to willingly take on those with no experience.  I say "used to" because IMO a new person deserves the best experience possible--I want them to have a good memory of WIIWD even if they decided that it isn't their path.  Also, as a person who has done things a few times, there are areas where I am not interested in going anymore, ever.  Is it really fair to deny a new person that exploration? 

Yes,  I have encountered people of various genders who decided that the scene was not for them, but that is actually pretty rare.  The ones that say "not for me" have been folks who had a total fantasy experience in their minds, and how can any reality compete with that? 

Openness and an interest in learning---from BOTH sides---are what help to cement a good relationship.



NewPleasures -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:13:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: lablancsecret

In my (truly) humble opinion, experience matters more for subs choosing Doms than it does for Doms choosing subs.

I'm not going to trust my safety and body to a man who I don't know if he can handle the responsibilty, or if he obviously doesn't understand the basics of D/s interactions.
However, many Doms seem excited to teach and break in a sub, before anyone else has the chance to.



But how would you determine that? I've got to tell you that I know a fair number of Dominants who have been around 20+ years who aren't as skilled as some of the men who have only been doing it for a few years.


Thats an interesting statement. I think ultimately it comes down to the individual. (which does not make finding a Dominant any easier.)



JDEmpath -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:20:01 PM)

What makes you more or less desirable is your openness, your responsiveness, and your devotion to the one who controls you, as well as how the two of you click sexually. Experience may not matter. It may be a factor with Doms who want to test limits that you do not yet have.





quote:

ORIGINAL: NewPleasures

I don't have any experience and I wonder if that makes me more or less desirable.



lablancsecret -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:25:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: lablancsecret

In my (truly) humble opinion, experience matters more for subs choosing Doms than it does for Doms choosing subs.

I'm not going to trust my safety and body to a man who I don't know if he can handle the responsibilty, or if he obviously doesn't understand the basics of D/s interactions.
However, many Doms seem excited to teach and break in a sub, before anyone else has the chance to.



But how would you determine that? I've got to tell you that I know a fair number of Dominants who have been around 20+ years who aren't as skilled as some of the men who have only been doing it for a few years.


Okay, that may be true, but I figure I'm taking a calculated risk by investing in a Dom, who may have "been there, done that" and knows how to do it safely. Maybe he can't do it not amazingly well, but aren't submissives improvement properties??

Anyways, I'm not 100% sure anyways. I just figure this is a good way of gauging.





Decimus -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/9/2008 2:26:44 PM)

I know I am a male sub however, I know Aerith has told me numerous times she is happier that she can train me how she wants than having to retrain me from someone else's liking.



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