RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced

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TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:16:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NewPleasures sigh what's a girl to do? Get offline and involved in your local community. Make friends...and not just with dominant men. Meet people and you will find someone...I am sure of it. Taggard

darkpassenger434 -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:17:01 AM)
I would greatly prefer inexperienced. I would rather learn together. -R

NewPleasures -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:20:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty quote: ORIGINAL: NewPleasures sigh what's a girl to do? Get offline and involved in your local community. Make friends...and not just with dominant men. Meet people and you will find someone...I am sure of it. Taggard I have submissive friends who give me good, sound advice. I just googled "bdsm club in the Ny or NJ area" I think I will call up a friend and check a few out this weekend.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:25:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NewPleasures I have submissive friends who give me good, sound advice. I just googled "bdsm club in the Ny or NJ area" I think I will call up a friend and check a few out this weekend. Good girl! smile I just checked my email and saw this (I would sure be going if I were in NYC this weekend): Demo/Topic: "Liberty in Restraint" BDSM Movie by Michael Ney This Friday, January 11th at Paddles Time: 8:45 PM - 10:45 PM (doors open 8:30 PM) Address: #250 West 26th Street (Bet: 7th/8th Ave-entrance thru the parking lot) Free Raffle of SM Videos and/or Adult Toys at all of our meetings. NOTE: Seating will begin at 8:30 PM. The movie will begin at exactly 9 PM. The presentation: As an aspiring photographer, the clandestine world of bondage and discipline, dominance-submission, sadomasochism, fetish fashion and alternative sex was a powerful attraction for Noel Graydon. LIBERTY IN RESTRAINT follows Noel in his quest for authenticity. In this riveting series of testimonials we meet the mentors, muses and masochists who have inspired artistic endeavors. Noel's journey also embraced years of drug addiction then total recovery, fatherhood and an ongoing struggle to reconcile fetish life with family life. Peeking behind the scenes on numerous fetish portraits, we enter a curious world of rope artists, lapsed Catholics, pain sluts, adult babies, electro-torture and blood play enthusiasts who approach 'absolution' and sexuality 'like an advanced driving course in sex', and where the initiated take carnal license to extreme limits. "Liberty In Restraint" delves deeply into Noel's life and portfolio to reveal his work in progress, the passion for his art and its themes, the community he loves to photograph and their controversial transgressive activities. The Director's bio: Michael Ney has over twenty years experience successfully producing creative projects, particularly in web design, multimedia live theatre events, CD-ROMs and video. After many years working backstage in the theatre and lighting design, studying television production, then moving to commercial photography, photojournalism and audio-visuals, Michael formed a multimedia company called Virtual Realm Xchange. Over several years VRX completed various projects for clients such as Westpac Bank, The City of Sydney Council, educational institutions such as Sydney University, and music groups such as DEF FX, and even The Sydney Symphony Orchestra. Tasks included creative direction and digital design, animation, video production (including direction, scripting, camera and editing), voiceovers and special effects. In 2001, Michael re-branded his activities with a new company, “Sensory Image”, to focus on film and TV projects. Apart from continually honing his abilities as an emerging director, Michael is also a skilled cameraman, Final Cut Pro editor, and production manager; all of which was required in the making of his debut feature: Liberty In Restraint. As well as being a founding member of OZDOX – The Australian Documentary Forum, which has held monthly events at the AFC theatre, and other venues, since July 2003, Michael also maintains the website and email list and is also video archivist of all events. For more information see: www.ozdox.org. Popcorn Taxi is a film industry educational initiative and winner of the AFI Byron Kennedy Award in 2000. Michael initiated the video archiving of their filmmaker Q&A events in Sydney, Australia and has shot them since its inception in 1999. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Plan to stay after the DSF meeting. Fridays are hot play nights. Once the DSF demo is finished, the regular Paddles crowd mixes with our attendees, and lots of good scenes and mingling take place. <><>About DomSubFriends MEETINGS and SOCIALS<><> All meetings and socials are $4 for DSF & affiliate members, and $8 for non members. Everyone is welcomed at our meetings, however, you must be minimum 18 years old. DomSubFriends meetings are held 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Friday of each month at Paddles. Paddles is an NYC S&M club located at: #250 West 26th Street (Bet: 7th/8th Ave) Paddles management is gracious to offer all male attendees of DSF meetings a 60% discount (only $15) to stay afterwards when the club opens to the general public at 11 PM. Females staying after the meeting are free, providing they are members of DomSubFriends (or affiliate group); otherwise it's only $5 to stay. For savings to DSF meetings, affiliate meetings, fetish vendors and S&M clubs, take a look at our website. Discover the many benefits of becoming a DSF member via the net or in person at one of our meetings. On a separate Note: If any BDSM or Alternative Lifestyle group would like to post their events on our website calendar, get a password by dropping us a note at: [email protected] DomSubFriends management http://www.DomSubFriends.com

NewPleasures -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:30:31 AM)
Cool! Thanks for the information.

CalifChick -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:37:24 AM)
FR ~~~ Did I read it correctly? Someone twice your age is "close" to your age? You are 18, right? You might end up happier if you just take off the age requirement altogether. Just because someone sends you a message doesn't mean you have to respond. If you don't want evocative responses, you might want to rethink using such a provocative pic as your main one. Just saying. Someone that I consider to be wise answered a similar experience question of mine by saying that the mind and that attitude are far more important than any amount of experience. Experience means nothing if there is nothing in your soul to carry you thru the rest of the day. Cali

Hotch -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 11:51:53 AM)
An inexperienced sub can be seen as having an innocent, virginal, pure, fresh (take your pick) quality that everyone knows men go gaga for. A lot of dominants think they are teachers and it makes them feel superior and powerful by having someone look to them for guidance. On the other hand, like with any other of life’s endeavors, experience brings fundamentally superior performance and level of satisfaction. It’s hard to dance when your partner has to stand on your feet to get the movement right. How frustrating it must be to never get a chance to test yourself, because your sub ‘isn’t there yet’. The question then begs to ask, “Do “dominants” prefer inexperience because there is less chance of exposing their own personal short comings?”

HandSolo -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 12:33:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NewPleasures quote: ORIGINAL: HandSolo Frankly, NewP, I took a quick look at your profile, and I think it will be difficult to keep hordes of Doms away! The age requirement might be a little tough, that's all. Ty...do you think the age requirement is unreasonable or over the top? Others have more or less answered this, but while it's not an absurd request, I can say, as a guy in that age range, that I'm not really looking for women your age, and I be surprised to see a woman your age interested in me. You're looking for a man a minimum of 17 years older than you, and it strikes me as curious that, say, a 25 year old, finished with college, starting a career, wouldn't be plenty old/mature. I am also forced to wonder how long-term a relationship you expect, as the social differences between the men you seek and you are pretty extreme. When I was your age, nobody had heard of Nirvana, the Soviet Union still existed, Iraq was an American ally, there was no Internet, cellphones wouldn't fit in a toaster oven, etc. I could also compare you to the ages of my relatives, and imagine what I'd think of the trencoat wearing troglodyte my age trying to hit one of them up, uhg! If, OTOH, you're looking for a secure individual who's all grown up to teach you the ropes (pun intended), I'd throw on my Dom hat and message you like crazy, if I weren't so far away. [:)] It'll just take longer, since you're cutting out so many prospective Doms.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/10/2008 2:37:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HandSolo I can say, as a guy in that age range, that I'm not really looking for women your age, and I be surprised to see a woman your age interested in me. You're looking for a man a minimum of 17 years older than you, and it strikes me as curious that, say, a 25 year old, finished with college, starting a career, wouldn't be plenty old/mature. You make a really great point. There is no way on earth I would turn down a weekend with the OP, but she is also waayy too young to consider bringing into my family (which, from her profile, isn't something she is into, anyway). It seems she is looking for a serious LTR with a man in that age range...but would she really be interested in the type of man who wants a girl 17 -30 years his junior as a primary monogamous mate? I doubt it... Taggard

KindLadyGrey -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/11/2008 10:25:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover That presumes that you want things done just the way that Mistress Awesome does. In which case, you'd be better off training under Mistress Awesome yourself in order to learn what she trains, and her training methods. For those of us who may have need for training and skills that are more personalized to our tastes, Mistress Awesome's training can be a hinderance that must be untrained. Just a view from the other side of the coin. John I respectfully disagree. The fact that said sub has been trained a certain way by mistress awesome DOES NOT in any way mean that the sub is fixated on the way Mistress Awesome taught them to do it. Sure, there will be an adjustment period where the sub has to learn how YOU like their service, but that adjustment period is not necessarily any longer or more difficult than training a brand new sub with a limited service skillset. In the meantime, the sub is already familiar with the process of molding him or herself to a dominant partner and has likely conquered all or most of the demons that new submissives have to fight to reconcile themselves to the idea of allowing another person to mold them and to a certain extent control their life. Likewise, an experienced sub is comfortable with the etiquette and social customs of this lifestyle, which, if you are involved in any bdsm social groups, can be a big plus.

A159753 -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/12/2008 12:46:27 AM)
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Rover -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/12/2008 7:01:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey quote: ORIGINAL: Rover That presumes that you want things done just the way that Mistress Awesome does. In which case, you'd be better off training under Mistress Awesome yourself in order to learn what she trains, and her training methods. For those of us who may have need for training and skills that are more personalized to our tastes, Mistress Awesome's training can be a hinderance that must be untrained. Just a view from the other side of the coin. John I respectfully disagree. The fact that said sub has been trained a certain way by mistress awesome DOES NOT in any way mean that the sub is fixated on the way Mistress Awesome taught them to do it. Sure, there will be an adjustment period where the sub has to learn how YOU like their service, but that adjustment period is not necessarily any longer or more difficult than training a brand new sub with a limited service skillset. In the meantime, the sub is already familiar with the process of molding him or herself to a dominant partner and has likely conquered all or most of the demons that new submissives have to fight to reconcile themselves to the idea of allowing another person to mold them and to a certain extent control their life. Likewise, an experienced sub is comfortable with the etiquette and social customs of this lifestyle, which, if you are involved in any bdsm social groups, can be a big plus. I believe you missed the premise of the post I was responding to, which was not the OP. That post read in part: quote: Finding an experienced sub is something of a treat. A sub who says "Hello ma'am, I've been trained by Mistress Awesome to serve you in any of the following ways. . ." and then proceeds to recite a list that includes everything from massage to domestic chores to trade skills is really a lucky find. (And believe me, there is a BIG difference between a new sub who is willing to do those things, and one who actually has experience doing them) I have yet to get lucky enough to claim one, but every time I talk to such a sub or see them in action I wonder if their next Dom/me is ever tempted to call up Mistress Awesome and thank her profusely for giving the sub so much experience. Perhaps that will provide more accurate context for my subsequent post in reply. John

Justme696 -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/12/2008 7:09:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty quote: ORIGINAL: NewPleasures Do Dominant men prefer experienced or inexperienced submissive women and why? I can't speak for all Dominant men, but, for me, attitude is much more important than experience. I can teach you what I want you to do...you just have to be open to learning it. Taggard to Me that is the only right answer also. It depends on the person, not so much experience. And it is not always something you can choose. Sometimes you meet people with experience sometimes not, but if you connect....then it is ok, not?

hardbodysub -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/13/2008 8:41:24 AM)
In response to the OP, the answer in a nutshell has to be "it depends" on the dom and on the sub. I'm probably not adding much to what has already been said by others, but here's my take on it: Personally, I think the attraction of inexperienced subs is that they can often be more open to try new things, more moldable and malleable, providing the dom with a fresh canvas upon which to unleash his creativity. Perhaps fresh clay for the dom to shape is an analogy more consistent with "moldable" and "malleable". An experienced sub seems more likely to have preconceived notions about how a dom should act, and might be conditioned in a way that doesn't suit the new dom, and this can be very annoying. On the other hand, an experienced sub may have a better idea about what she wants/needs in such a relationship, and may be better equipped to select a compatible dom. There may be less trial and error with her, and things could go much more smoothly. It might take a newbie sub longer to learn what she really wants, and where to draw the line between fantasy and reality. So, it depends on the individuals, but I tend to prefer the idea of a fresh canvas. Edited to add the following: P.S. By the way, NewPleasures, I like the way you dealt with the age issue in your profile: "DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF:...you act young and immature ...you act old and boring". I think that's a perfect way to look at it; arbitrary age limits just aren't rational. It's impossible to draw the line at exactly the right place using age; someone who's 45 might look and act younger than someone who's 30, so it just doesn't work.

Switchblayde -> RE: Experienced vs. Inexperienced (1/13/2008 12:58:16 PM)
From my own experiences on both sides of the divide; Inexperienced subs can be moulded to a Masters/Mistresses own individual needs and requirements. Like with any form of programming, its easier to work from scratch with a blank canvas. Inexperienced subs who claim experience can be their own worst ememy. Inexperienced Doms, especially those claiming experience they dont have, can be dangerous. Those who think they have experience but dont, can be just as dangerous as those who set out to deceive.

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