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Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 3:55:51 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		I was talking to someone about this (actually, it was about her finding a better job). She was going to take a part time gig in a business that was conducive to her skill sets.  2 days a week...she didn't think it was a good gig (she wants a full time gig)...and I abbreviated the following:

"Stay in the game...as a woman you'll never grasp this as well as a man (help me out here guys) but...you'll be in a spot where "like" businesses can see you...and BECAUSE you're employed...you're interesting....somebody already wants you...unemployed....the obvious question (to a new employer, if you're unemployed) is...why aren't you working?"

Etc.

So...on to my question (and I want the truth here ladies!!!!!)....why the hell is it that as a guy (Vanilla, or in this lifestyle), nice guy, good living...all the right stuff we read about in airports and at dentist offices that say you should want us....but....you don't (because we're at that moment....single).

But the minute we get a girlfriend....we're a substantially marketable commodity.

WTF up wit dat?

Honest to Gawwwd.....in all my life...from 17 to 47....I never had MORE interest from the opposite sex...than when I had a girlfriend.

(And when I didn't....I was a pariah).

Give up the goods ladies....WTF up wit dat?

< Message edited by Griswold -- 1/7/2008 3:59:56 PM >
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 4:00:02 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		people always want what they cant have

(in reply to Griswold)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 4:04:13 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Forbidden fruit is often more interesting than boring old apples and oranges. I'm not calling you a fruit Grizzles. Just that maybe the ladies you meet LIKE forbidden fruit.

I personally won't touch a guy who's "taken" so to speak, but that's just me.

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 4:11:18 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		griswold my love,

the same thing happens to us. nobody wants us until we're with someone. so when you figure it out, let ME know. LOL.

annabelle.


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a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Griswold)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 4:11:21 PM   
Cherish1102


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline 		I'm 18, and don't have much life experience. However, I DO have good observational skills and I like to delve into the minds of those who intrigue me. That said, in my (small) experience, when a man is in a relationship, women tend to see his good qualities more. They see how he is treating his partner, and they're able to pick up on that area of emotion better. There's also the factor that you mentioned in your post. "He's kind, romantic, responsible, likes kids.... Whats wrong with him? Why is he still single?"
Does that make sense?
Oh, and we can't forget the fact that women gossip. Many a guy was made much more attractive by the fact that my best friend gushed about him all day long.
Hope that opens us up to you a little more. Though I may just be pulling it out of my ass.
~Cherish~

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 4:14:15 PM   
BabyDollVanIsle


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline 		i have heard it said that when a fellow has a girlfriend, he is more relaxed and confident, so he also comes across as more attractive.

plus he isn't drooling on a girl's arm staring at her with puppy dog eyes, so doesn't come across as needy and desperate.

partly this is exaggerated to make the point, and applies equally to women when 'taken' or available.

this can operate in a more subtle way, in that someone who seems less interested in you, allows YOU to be more interested, as the possiblity of success isn't as 'in your face' as when the interest is obviously reciprocated.

'i want you when you don't want me, but once i know you want me, my own ambivalence comes out'.

human beings are so reactive... you have to make a point to be proactive, and consistent with your stated desires.

baby doll

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 4:17:39 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		My theory is that when people are happy they give off more powerful pheremones and have a more relaxed attitude. There is no scent of clutching desperation around the person.

That being said; I may find an attached man attractive, but I SURE as Hell don't 'want' him.

And; I prefer to be alone than with someone just to be with someone...


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Ask all from yourself." Rumi

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(in reply to Griswold)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 5:20:31 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I have no idea, Griswold ... but suddenly I'm feeling powerfully attracted to you. ~whiffing the scent of new girlfrield~

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 5:53:40 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Forbidden fruit is often more interesting than boring old apples and oranges. I'm not calling you a fruit Grizzles. Just that maybe the ladies you meet LIKE forbidden fruit.

I personally won't touch a guy who's "taken" so to speak, but that's just me.

Same with me, and it's the mark of how long a dry spell's been, if I'm checking out the "taken" guys.

thornhappy

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 5:56:10 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		Perhaps it is just because you notice it more then.

Kind of like when you *KNOW* who is on the phone when it rings before you answer it.  Forget the caller ID.  You are not psychic, because the phone can ring hundreds of times without this happening, but it sticks in your head when it does. 

So it may just be a case that you notice that other females are finding you interesting when you are with someone else.  Also, it may be that you are coming into contact with more females at this time.  More social events to attend and such. 

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 6:00:40 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's partly the body language men project when they are in a relationship with a woman. Women are experts at reading subtle variances in men's body language.

It's also partly because a woman is less likely to want something that no other woman evidently wants.

(in reply to Griswold)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 6:20:56 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline 		Because you smell good......

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 6:32:45 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		Um...I have a girlfriend who says the exact same thing, almost verbatim. It ain't just guys, Gris.


MNN

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(in reply to Griswold)
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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 7:00:52 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		you wouldn't be able to handle the truth if we told you

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 7:05:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Nice Samba!

It's not because you're single, it's because you're waiting and smell desparate.

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 7:11:12 PM   
Badpunzel


Posts: 59
Joined: 12/24/2007
Status: offline 		Why do women seem to want you more when you are not available?

When you have a committed other, you have been proven.  Someone else has already done the screening and determined you worthy.

If you don't believe me, the next time you are in a grocery store, look for a  group of people pawing through a bin of something on sale, see how much quicker you go over to see what's in that bin.   If no one is pawing, it must not be very interesting. 


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  • The things you truly need, you only need once.
  • Currently avoiding growing fat on the waters of indifference.
  • Anything for a weird life.


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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 7:52:44 PM   
DollFaceMania


Posts: 22
Joined: 12/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

griswold my love,

the same thing happens to us. nobody wants us until we're with someone. so when you figure it out, let ME know. LOL.

annabelle.



FOR REAL!!!!

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 8:22:59 PM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

Because you smell good......


I know you're amazing and have many talents, but I didn't know you also have the ability to detect scent over the phone... 

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 8:24:49 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		sobs.....You have a girlfriend now?? wtf is up wit dat????

edited to add the last smiley so the bantering mood of the post would be conveyed.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 1/7/2008 8:25:44 PM >

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Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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RE: Okay ladies...I want the truth....SPILL.... - 1/7/2008 8:29:27 PM   
NaiveTempest


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Badpunzel

Why do women seem to want you more when you are not available?

When you have a committed other, you have been proven.  Someone else has already done the screening and determined you worthy.

If you don't believe me, the next time you are in a grocery store, look for a  group of people pawing through a bin of something on sale, see how much quicker you go over to see what's in that bin.   If no one is pawing, it must not be very interesting. 



Total agreement here. If someone else is showing interest then people are more likely to notice. When I've gone into empty stores to view products, I notice that suddenly, maybe five more people enter the store too. If you stop to look at something, someone else will stop too, if only to see what caused you to stop, you know?

Plus, with your comment to the female about employment, it seems to me, you answered your own question, lol.

_____________________________

"All the things I should have said that I never said/All the things we should have done that we never did/All the things I should have given, but I didn't.../Give me these moments back..."

Kate Bush, "This Woman's Work"

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