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RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 5:49:16 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Real Dommes don't let bullies alter their good moods; We just mock 'em and block 'em. Playing for sympathy is a whiny smart-ass subbie thing to do, and bullies smell fear: sure you're not a switch?
you've got to be able to handle it if you dish it out. you should have picked out one of the most outrageous flames and made fun of it, not whinged.
Expect to be judged as you yourself judge, and you can't tell Me you don't judge others by their communications, including their profiles.
F'r instance yours sez you like people being blunt; doesn't sound like that's true.

Most Dommes are of above average intelligence, and none likes being out-Dommed; We who weren't in the chat don't know what you're complaining about thus preventing a logical assessment of your complaint: My guess is you feel guilty about cheating on hubby and were feeling defensive; but it's only a calculated guess, so I think you should enlighten us so We can be fair.

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 21

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 6:05:12 PM

texancutie2

Posts: 40
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline

I think the chatrooms and the message boards are similar in some ways. Though one big difference is that the chatrooms are just mindless entertainment...basically. You can go there and multi-task while doing work or research on your computer, with no expectations of having to write a thesis or dissertation in the rooms. Unless you find a decent discussion going on, which is possible in maybe one or two rooms, depending on if there is intelligent life there at the time. Another key difference is that you don't seem to find that many people that actually seem to have any significant real time experience there. Though people that do have experience are definitely there too. They are just not in the majority. I certainly would never seek a Dominant in the rooms. And am sure there are Dominants that state they would never seek a submissive there. Besides most people in the rooms don't even reside anywhere near each other, that is why the personal ad section works much better. Well.....kinda...

I don't think one is better than the other. There are super slaves and super Dominants everywhere one goes. People are people, some love to pontificate in the rooms and others do it on the boards. No harm in it.

Also, I like to think that there are some people in the rooms just testing the waters. Never hurts to state that there really is no one true way in this. Its basically what works for an individual or couple, that matters.

Eventually, you get to a point in your growth, where you can learn very little from either online source. You have to get out there, meet local people and experience it for yourself in the end.

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 22

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 6:26:55 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I belive most poeple vilify the C/c slash stuff because thy feel it's stupid, or an abomination to proper grammer, or it's some lame cyber thing that got started online only, or only players do it, or for the fact it's hard to read. More than anything of who cares who shows deferance to whom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I think that is why you were warned by LaTigresse that the W/we thing was not well received here, because most here feel the only one that is due that deference is the one a submissive chooses to show that deference to...

Just my two cents, and I take paypal

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 23

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 7:03:48 PM

aeleberaNB

Posts: 690
Joined: 6/4/2007
From: Alberta, Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

Greetings:

quote:

Though one big difference is that the chatrooms are just mindless entertainment...basically.

not all chat rooms are mindless entertainment. there are some very real chatrooms that discuss nothing but real life and help give those who are new places to go and read information that they otherwise did not know how or where to get information they seek. before judging all chatrooms make sure you have all the information correct... there are chat rooms that are strictly for sharing music, chat rooms based on nothing at all but roleplaying and as i said there are some chat rooms that discuss every day life as a slave/submissive, Master/Mistress, or Dom/Domme. there are chat rooms that discuss the Gorean way of life, some that discuss the Leather community and others still that discuss the M/s lifestyle.

quote:

You can go there and multi-task while doing work or research on your computer, with no expectations of having to write a thesis or dissertation in the rooms. Unless you find a decent discussion going on, which is possible in maybe one or two rooms, depending on if there is intelligent life there at the time.

in Master's room if you do not participate in conversation unless marked afk, brb or sleeping, you can expect to be kicked out with a warning, as we discuss various things from being new to the lifestyle to training slaves and what we think of the Gor books, what Gor is to us, what being a kajira is, helping those who are new to learn what being a submissive is versus what being a slave is and the difference between a kajira and a slave or submissive. in fact today i had such a discussion with a submissive from the Netherlands about being new, what being a slave was in my mind, what being a submissive means and the differences in them from my point of view.

quote:

Another key difference is that you don't seem to find that many people that actually seem to have any significant real time experience there. Though people that do have experience are definitely there too. They are just not in the majority.

i am not sure where you have been going to do chatting but on mIRC, there are several rooms with nothing but people who have lived or are living the lifestyles they choose to... while there are some that may not live close to each other that does not mean that the slave or submissive does not do what they are told, how they are told and when they are told.

Master and i live quite some distance from each other but when He says to do something i don't say i've done it unless i have actually done it because to do otherwise is wrong because i am then lying to Him and to lie is wrong. if He punishes me over the phone, do i follow through with the punishment? of course i do...why? again because to do otherwise is wrong and is deceiving Master, which is cause for release and i don't wish to be released. while He can release me for whatever reason(s), i do not wish to do anything to cause Him to release me.

wishing all well,
aeleberaNB

_____________________________

He is the Master, i am His slave, His property, His muse to do with as He pleases, when and where He pleases. Trust in thy Master as HE knows what is best for His property.

(in reply to texancutie2)

Post #: 24

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 7:07:30 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I should have said "I feel", because you are right, I have no idea how other people feel about it

I feel that in doing that slashy speaky thing it is because of those of a dominant stripe wanting a show of deference or specialness because of how they identify in the lifestyle... it is my experience in chatrooms (not here either, but also yahoo chat) that those who necessitated this sort of slashy speaky crap in their chatrooms did it because they wanted to be able to tell the submissives from the dominants and they felt the dominants deserved some sort of deference... therefore many submissives would type "I" "i" when referring to themselves... and dominants would refer to themselves "My" or "Mine".

That is my impression of the entire slashy speaky thing, why do it if we are all coming at this from equal perspectives? No one needs to stand out as submissive or dominant if we are all equal until we decide not to be...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 25

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 9:25:26 PM

Rushemery

Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline

I prefer reading what the more god like types write, here we have to stand by what we say for days and months, in chat rooms I dont believe they keep those discussions. here everyone can go back and reread what I have said word for word

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 26

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 11:00:56 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I should have said "I feel", because you are right, I have no idea how other people feel about it

I feel that in doing that slashy speaky thing it is because of those of a dominant stripe wanting a show of deference or specialness because of how they identify in the lifestyle... it is my experience in chatrooms (not here either, but also yahoo chat) that those who necessitated this sort of slashy speaky crap in their chatrooms did it because they wanted to be able to tell the submissives from the dominants and they felt the dominants deserved some sort of deference... therefore many submissives would type "I" "i" when referring to themselves... and dominants would refer to themselves "My" or "Mine".

That is my impression of the entire slashy speaky thing, why do it if we are all coming at this from equal perspectives? No one needs to stand out as submissive or dominant if we are all equal until we decide not to be...

julia, I have to disagree with one of your points as to why slash typing came to be. Yes, I agree it began in the very new days of the yahoo dungeon user rooms, though not all used it for deference. In fact back in those days most didn't. It was used mainly as yahoo didn't allow, and still doesn't as far as I know, capital letters in IDs. So began the use in particular of the ''i'' and ''I.'' I was very involved in those rooms way back when. Yes plenty used it to scream I am Dominant (just as many do here who only show for an ego stroke) and the rest, well we used it to figure out who was identifying as what when we couldn't tell by the way they spoke. Many in the beginning didn't do the lowercase i or uppercase I and at times it was impossible to know without asking, and I was quite vocal, are you a D an s or something else?

I see after writing this that we don't disagree enough to use that word. Perhaps we see it in the same way though in different terms.

Best,

EG

_____________________________

I will never make someone a priority, when they only make me an option.

FEAR the pixels....NOT!

Some things in life are like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 27

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/4/2008 11:03:48 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rushemery

I prefer reading what the more god like types write, here we have to stand by what we say for days and months, in chat rooms I dont believe they keep those discussions. here everyone can go back and reread what I have said word for word

Oh how true. Back when I used chat rooms I cannot count the number of people who came in asking what the topic was. I will be damned if a room of 40 people could come up with one. IF someone did, it got a few minutes if that amidst others wasting space and became so frustrating that the topic was dropped.

_____________________________

I will never make someone a priority, when they only make me an option.

FEAR the pixels....NOT!

Some things in life are like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.

(in reply to Rushemery)

Post #: 28

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 3:45:04 AM

CuriousLord

Posts: 3911
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

Bah, I'd give you trouble over being so oversenstive, but I suppose a lot of people on here are.

Sometimes, talking on here is like chatting with a goth back in highschool. They're all dressed in black and cut themselves, talking about darkness and such, so you think they're okay with normal things.. but they're actually the most senstive and emo kids ever.

Same deal here, it seems.

Anyhow, my advice is to simply toughen up. What that other chatter did was stupid, rude, and uncalled for, sure. But why care? It's actually kinda funny. You should've played along and teased 'em about it.

(in reply to Mistressofcuck)

Post #: 29

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 4:17:21 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Chatting with a goth back in high school? Sorry. but back in My day, goth wasn't a group in high school, nor was there 'chat'. You have to remember, CL, that not all of U/us came up in the same time you did, so there are different references.

On to the OP's idea of judgement. Yes, I suppose it's another old fashioned idea coming from those of U/us who had no net to rely on, or PC terns to guide. Back then, it was called instinct or gut feeling that came from a part within you when you had to look another person in the face and make your own call. You lived, you learned, you loved. You did or you didn't, and if you couldn't handle things like being 'judged' you simply moved on to an easier, softer way.

It may not be what everyone wants to hear, but things like 'judging' are still a part of life. What better frame of reference would there be than to 'judge' someone who you would put your life in their hands? If you can't deal with it, and grow stronger from it, there's a whole nilla world out there, just waiting for you, so you can take the simpler, easier path, just like everyone else. Nobody ever said you had to undertake this journey and all that goes with it. Even those of U/us who have been around a while can tell you there are bumps in the road. What amounts to a thought or two on a screen is the least of it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 30

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 4:46:44 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
That would be exactly why I avoid most chatrooms. Consider the source and move on.

Chatrooms are just another communication medium, why judge people based on how they choose to communicate? I’m sure the letter writers are getting their fountain pens and paper out to judge us freaks that use the ghastly ‘message board’.

Some people prefer chocolate to vanilla, and she prefers the fora to chatrooms because of certain characteristics that they tend to have...

I have enjoyed chatrooms at times, but I have noticed some of their shortcomings. One has to have a certain group of people together to make them entertaining... the same is true with a forum mind you, it just seems to me that forums tend to attract a different type of person.

I was in the chatrooms before i looked at the forums. it was entertaining a couple of times. I agree however that it depends on the people. I didnt like getting flooded with private chat requests when i was chatting.

I spent a small amount of time viewing (ok trolling to see what was going on. sue me) a few different chatrooms once or twice. What I mosly saw in the chatrooms, regardless of the name of the room, was idle banter about nothing and not really pertaining to the subject of the room. What I found was it was mostly boring. People talking about nothing. Idle, superficial "chat". Thats why its called "chat and not a real talk or discussion. There is no room for thoughtfulness.

DISCLAIMER: This is in no way intended to disregard or discredit those who think chatrooms are for thoughtful conversation

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 1/5/2008 5:29:32 AM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 31

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 7:16:56 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Real Dommes don't let bullies alter their good moods; We just mock 'em and block 'em. Playing for sympathy is a whiny smart-ass subbie thing to do, and bullies smell fear: sure you're not a switch? you've got to be able to handle it if you dish it out. you should have picked out one of the most outrageous flames and made fun of it, not whinged. Expect to be judged as you yourself judge, and you can't tell Me you don't judge others by their communications, including their profiles. F'r instance yours sez you like people being blunt; doesn't sound like that's true.

So what you are saying is that you dont let your own bullying attitude alter your own good mood? Or are you giving the OP advice on how to not get upset by your bullying?

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 32

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 7:21:45 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

Real Dommes don't let bullies alter their good moods; We just mock 'em and block 'em. Playing for sympathy is a whiny smart-ass subbie thing to do, and bullies smell fear: sure you're not a switch?
you've got to be able to handle it if you dish it out. you should have picked out one of the most outrageous flames and made fun of it, not whinged.
Expect to be judged as you yourself judge, and you can't tell Me you don't judge others by their communications, including their profiles.
F'r instance yours sez you like people being blunt; doesn't sound like that's true.

Most Dommes are of above average intelligence, and none likes being out-Dommed; We who weren't in the chat don't know what you're complaining about thus preventing a logical assessment of your complaint: My guess is you feel guilty about cheating on hubby and were feeling defensive; but it's only a calculated guess, so I think you should enlighten us so We can be fair.

You've quite obviously just disproven this point about intelligence by your post.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Tantriqu)

Post #: 33

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 11:17:30 AM

texancutie2

Posts: 40
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline

Taken out of context, but it's ok. I did say you can sometimes find a discussion going on, just depends on the room and who is there. Other rooms, it's fairly impossible to find anything vaguely intellectual going on, which is fine too, if you seek idle chitchat.

I don't go to the Gorean chatrooms, basically because I am not Gorean. Another reason is because they have these room rules that require one to call everyone Master or Sir. I only say that to my Dominant or people that I really know well and respect, in private, or at a kink friendly event. And usually it's people I know real time as well. I have no idea who is sitting behind that computer screen typing. In all honesty, it's a stranger.

Discussion would be great, if they didn't expect people that are non-Gorean to apply the same rules to themselves. Respect can still be there, even without 'Maaming' or 'Sirring' someone you don't know to death.

Anyway, this is going way beyond the scope of the topic. So no need to take it further for me.

(in reply to aeleberaNB)

Post #: 34

RE: People that claim to be Dominants and judge O/others - 1/5/2008 11:51:30 AM

OrionTheWolf

Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Would the flip side to the thread be "People that claim to be Dominants and whine?"?

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to texancutie2)

Post #: 35

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