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How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:39:54 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:41:28 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		An illness that's not harmful to the sub and doesn't effect your relationship?  Why would one consider ending the relationship over that?  Many people have illnesses, high blood pressure, arthritis, migraines...etc.  I'm a bit confused over what we're talking about I guess.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:43:29 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		Hell no i wouldn't leave my Master/Daddy and i wouldn't ask for release either.....i had a condition when i met him, one that could've caused long term issues and my Daddy still accepted me...So i highly doubt that he would cut me loose if i were to relapse.

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Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:47:42 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		well there are many things that can  happen to the human body that would cause us to be less useful to the one we owe. For one a man may endure prostate issues that cause numerous problems, although not harmful to the female , certainly hindering. Menopause is another, her desire to have less sex perhaps ? How about a back injury that might cause pain during pleasure. These are the things I speak of

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to daddyncherry)
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:49:35 PM   
Kostly


Posts: 60
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?


Never....  I couldnt imagine leaving anyone for a problem.  When bad things happen to us, I would hope (and know) that the people in my life would stick around for me...  the only time I ever heard of a story where I could see loosing the person was a story who married a woman in her late teens.  He was deeply in love with her.  She got sick with a mental illness (which developed in her mid 20's).  She got so sick that she did not know him, was constantly violent, was locked up in a mental hospital, and totally wouldnt (couldnt) let him in her life.  He stuck with her for 5 years, but it just was too much.  She was too sick... She wasnt a partner to him anymore, but someone he would have to visit and get spit on (among other things).  It wasnt her fault, for mental illness often developes in the 20's.  But that was a VERY extreme situation.


< Message edited by Kostly -- 12/26/2007 9:53:32 PM >

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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:52:14 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kostly

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?


Never....  I couldnt imagine leaving anyone for a problem.  When bad things happen to us, I would hope (and know) that the people in my life would stick around for me... 



I would hope so as well , but divorce rates and seperation rates tell a different story .

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to Kostly)
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:52:48 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have a back/neck issue and it can be a pain in the neck (pun intended) to deal with during play.  When it flares up there are just some things I cannot do that I can do normally. 

We're not getting any younger, I haven't yet had hormone issues make me want to NOT have sex or a situation with anyone with any permanent type of ED, however, I think as long as the other person is willing to continue to do what they can to deal with the problem and still have an active sex life, I wouldn't leave them over it.  If it meant they wouldn't have sex at all, that would be a real issue for me to grapple with personally.

The divorce rates are probably a better indication that the couple doesn't have the communication skills to deal with the issue effectively than they are that the person was left over the issue.  I mean honestly, we all have health issues and they do not improve with age for the most part.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/26/2007 10:10:39 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:54:18 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?


I am facing that situation right now, he has a medical problem that could possibly leave him without the use of his hand... or in pain for the rest of his life. It is something I will face with him as much as he allows me to. I love him dearly and there is no way I would ever turn my back on him... ever.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:57:08 PM   
TheScrivener


Posts: 91
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline 		The first person I was ever in a relationship with (It danced along the border of Dominant/submissive, depending upon the fullness of the moon) had CVID.  She found herself sick more often than myself, and also had trouble with her breathing at times (I can't remember, honestly, if it was related) - she'd sometimes lose her breath completely, often after (or even during) something sexual, and have to sit down and just fight to breathe for 10 minutes at a time.

It was frustrating for both of us, and difficult for her, and I would never have dreamed of breaking up with her because of health problems beyond her control.  The same applies to any submissive I may meet in the future.

I really can't imagine giving up on a submissive because of a health problem, provided it was in no way harmful to my physical well-being.  It may be difficult emotionally, but abandoning a person like that would be abusive, to me.


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- Bill Hicks


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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:57:11 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		thats really great, sometimes the person with the pain be it mental or physical can simply push you out of their lives, I hope this does not happen in your case. Best of luck to you

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:58:28 PM   
Kostly


Posts: 60
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers
I would hope so as well , but divorce rates and seperation rates tell a different story .


Number one cause of devorce is MONEY!  I live in a family (and extended family) that simply does not have devorces in their relationships.  Not a single one.  In my mind there are two valid reasons for devorce... Drug addiction and alchoolism (which I guess you can call an illness) or Abuse.  I KNOW for a fact that people fall out of love, but in the situations in my family both were dedicated towards each other, and they worked on the relationship.  After a year or two, the love came back, and it came back stronger then ever.  Now with all of them approaching 30 and 40 year annaversaries.  They are inseperable.  They are growing older now, and I am afraid that when we loose one, we will loose the other partner shortly after.

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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:59:46 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		In my case I have a clotting disorder which causes me to take blood thinners, and limits the play to some extent, worries me that the liability issue will arise for me. Thank you for your candid posts.

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 9:59:53 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

thats really great, sometimes the person with the pain be it mental or physical can simply push you out of their lives, I hope this does not happen in your case. Best of luck to you


Yeah that's hard, there have been quite a few threads here about it.  I think sometimes people need to get used to their new state of functioning alone.  I hope you don't get pushed out, but I would be prepared to make a little more room than usual if necessary.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to simplewhispers)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:00:49 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline 		even if it can't be medicated, no.  haven't, won't, never will.  we are a committed couple, we've both developed problems since we got together, neither one of us is going anywhere.

PM

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That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:03:22 PM   
simplewhispers


Posts: 232
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		pm I love your signature quotes

_____________________________

A silent woman is always more admired than a noisy one.
Season your admiration for a while With an attent ear. . .

simplewhispers

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:03:28 PM   
Zaraseeks


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline 		Well heres an oppisite veiw...With my ex Mistress/girlfriend, I became very very ill, and was told I was dieing, quickly, I for some time couldnt work, couldnt serve, got in the way of her job, her life revolved around me and making sure I was ok, I wanted to leave her, I knew she would never, not on her life dream of leaving me, more so when I was so sick, but it was draining her, tearing us apart, I hated needing her so bad, I hated her sacrifice.  I fought with her over it many times, she always said it was for her to decide.  So finally I left it at that, I would never leave someone I loved because they were sick, in fact she was sick and in a way that could harm me and couldnt be cured (she had Hep C) Plus I went through cancer with her.  That wasnt the hard part. The hard part was me being sick, and incapable, and not leaving her because I felt it was unfair...
So I would also like to ask if you were sick, incurable, and impaired, would you leave the one you loved because you felt it was right for them? 
Oh ps, obviously the doctors were wrong, they gave me 3 months three years ago...

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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:04:08 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		One of my current partners has nerve damage in his arm, PTSD, and undergoing tests to determine if he has liver cancer or if it's only a bad gall bladder.  Am I going to dump him?  Not a chance.  On the other hand, my ex-husband is bipolar.  His illness was a major contributing factor to our divorce.  It has a lot to do with the condition in question and how the person deals with it.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:07:30 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		If you could leave your D or s because of a disability, I pity them.

If the bond is so tenuous and conditional, it was no bond in the first place.

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:08:31 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

thats really great, sometimes the person with the pain be it mental or physical can simply push you out of their lives, I hope this does not happen in your case. Best of luck to you


Yeah that's hard, there have been quite a few threads here about it.  I think sometimes people need to get used to their new state of functioning alone.  I hope you don't get pushed out, but I would be prepared to make a little more room than usual if necessary.


I was with someone for three years, and the last year we were seeing each other he was living with blown out discs in his back and had surgery. It ended our relationship. He was dealing with his own self image changing. He lost two inches off his height, was permanently disabled, and had to deal with his sense of who was was changing.. it just put too much stress on our relationship.. he pushed me away.

In the situationwe are in now, I am more than prepared to give him all the space he needs, and I did not do that before. I can only be supportive the way he needs me to be.. I ain't going anywhere.. he knows it.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: How would you feel - 12/26/2007 10:24:31 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I feel that IF I ended the relationship over something like that, it'd be over how they are dealing and coping with the problem rather than the problem itself. I'd be able to stay for a while if they fell into a deep depression or whatnot...I'd be able to stay for a while without some physical thing...but unless they're willing to try and find solutions around those things, it'd simply be a toxic relationship for me. I'm an empath and how other people feel in my relationships affect me. I've spent too many years learning to be stable with my bipolar to be able to handle a toxic relationship. I know that I'd have to say, "I love you, but this is toxic for me and I must go." However, if they're trying to learn ways to cope, looking at solutions, finding other ways to positively work with the problem, yeah, I'd stay.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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