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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 10:34:19 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?

Frankly it would depend on two factors.

First, their own feelings -- someone may not be comfortable continuing a Ds relationship and it could be harmful to them if I were to try and force them to stay.

Second, how long we've been together. It's a new relationship and we are coming upon a renewal or change in contract, this is a factor to consider and discuss. However, I own Fox and he and I no longer have a renewal contract only a permenant one (whatever that means given we are both adults who can legal end things at any time). Therefore part of my responsibility is to continue to own him until I feel it is doing me, the rest of the household or him harm. We would make adjustments to the dynamic as health dictates -- I know better than to think I can dominant things I cannot.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 11:05:56 AM

HottLicks

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/21/2007
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Darn, I just lost my post! Let me try this again...

I have many illnesses and they have effected all of my relationships and life in general. There are a lot of things to consider that go far beyond what happens between two people, but all are things everyone handles... just a bit more challenging sometimes. Besides the medical system that can be hard to get through, there are financial things that can break everything apart.

People might hesitate to get involved with someone who has a lot going on, but there are some who will amaze you and be willing to meet those challenges to be with you. They may not be at every met or diner or easy to find, but they are out there. I found that handling my own situation with a positive attitude and wanting to live fully created a situation where people felt comfortable in being close to me. It was what I couldn't control that got to them and to me as well. But still, learning to handle your illness or issues is the first key in my opinion.

For example: I am in pain... I can either cry and be a bummer to be around, or I can smile through the tears and bring laughter to the moment. It isn't easy, but can be done. Another: No money to pay for the lights and they get turned off... I can either do the boo hoo's or I can light some candles and snuggle under a blanket.

It is how you handle it all that makes a difference. There will be times for frustration and tears, but those moments are easier to get through if your general attitude is one of survival and living abundantly within the challenges. When people see that inner strength and that go get life attitude, they see a person they can respect and those other things are less important to some of them.

You can find someone who will look at what you do have rather than what you don't have and it is those who you should draw near to. Because when you have something wrong and they accept you and all your challenges, you have a bond that grows and brings a life of it's own to the relationship and in love I believe we find much healing and longer life. So don't let the challenges freak you out and discourage you... just see them as something more to grow with and you will see many blessings through it all.

There is life even in illness and it can be an amazing and wonderful life!

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 11:17:54 AM

junecleaver

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Joined: 4/6/2005
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It would depend on their reaction to the illness. If they crumbled under the stress and pushed me away continually, I would leave. If they used their disease as a way to manipulate me, I would question whether I should stay or not. If they still wanted my service and wanted to enjoy the life they have left, I would stay with them.

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"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 12:56:36 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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Well I have faced that and found out it doesn't affect our relationship a whole lot. It is a small part of it. I could never give him up for any illness. I have faced it and realized he meant more to me than anything else. Any illness was not going to make me cut my losses and go.

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Post #: 44

RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 2:30:02 PM

LadyHugs

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear simplewhispers, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Having an Arch-Type that identfies with healer and or care giver; I am also a care giver and provider to a parent who is 84 and suffers from a lot of little things to, include Alzheimer's.
(It won't be confirmed until autopsy but, I think its just old age and being a gloomy gus).

It would be hard for me to abandon a slave who was ill/dying. I've buried a few slaves in my lifestyle - life. I've been at bedside attending Master friends dying so--I highly doubt if I wouldd go in a different direction. I would most likely be the one abandoned by slaves as it seems those I have come across 'thus' far--cannot take my situation in giving care to a parent. So, I am not sure if a slave will be with me when I am not physically as able or, ill and or dying.
Having no slave at this time -- I don't have to stress at that thought. Future? Don't know if a slave would want an old gray mare like me. I'll see when the time comes--but, I like to have an older slave so they don't run away so fast as I do the 'institutional shuffle' trying to catch up to them.

Just some thoughts and a bit of humor added in.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 4:30:26 PM

Blyght

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Don't know if a slave would want an old gray mare like me. I'll see when the time comes--but, I like to have an older slave so they don't run away so fast as I do the 'institutional shuffle' trying to catch up to them.
Just some thoughts and a bit of humor added in.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

Not to hijack, but after reading this wonderful post I just have to say that no, you are no old gray mare, LadyHugs. I have always enjoyed reading your posts for the consistent thoughtfulness and humor of them. Love the input you give!

Now, to the OP, I would not leave. I made him a promise, but if he decided to not follow medical advice or starting poisoning his own existance and mine, I might have to reconsider. People can change, relationships can shift and evolve but not always for the good.

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Post #: 46

RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 4:35:01 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?

Nope,not me,I would not do that to anyone.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 5:28:14 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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Joined: 11/10/2005
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I'm late to the party here...but no, I can't conceive of cutting someone loose for a medical condition.

Example: I don't hide the fact that I love female feet -- not for "worship," but for play. My former sub has Guillain-Barre syndrome, which caused extreme pain if her feet were more than just lightly touched. That meant no biting into her soles, digging my nails into them, smacking them with a paddle. Yet we got along just fine.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 5:39:12 PM

wisteriaV

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Joined: 3/17/2005
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When Master and I got together, I knew he had degenerative disk disease. That didn't bother me at all. When I woke up one morning with visual distortions about two years ago, we found out I have permenent vertigo due to inner ear imbalances and I am loosing my vision due to macular degeneration and advanced glocoma. I offered to step out of the relationship and let Master find somenoe that would be healthier and fuction better than I can, but his repsonse was no way , he signed up for this when he collared me. He knew that medical stuff can happen and he doesn't see me as any less of a slave because of it, I just do things more slowly than others and can't drive anymore. I think it is more flustrating for me than anything else because I knew what I was like before I got sick..

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 5:42:40 PM

l1z

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i have bipolar, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, migraines, and fibromyalgia. Hubby has stuck by me and cared for me and loved me through 2 major breakdowns, 1 hospitalization, and about a hundred different permutations of failed medications and their correlating side effects. i'm still attempting to find a combination of medications that will allow me to function relatively normally. There are things i simply cannot do and limits that i have no control over. Both Hubby's mother and best friend are also bipolar and have medical issues so i am nothing new. He has a family history of early onset alzheimers (His Father and Grandmother were vegetables or dead by 40) and should the worst occur and He get sick as well then i would definitely not leave Him.

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 6:56:59 PM

Littlepita

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Joined: 10/6/2005
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My Master is considerably older than I am. He has the concern of becoming a burden to me down the road. He is learning to accept that I will never leave him. He will own me till the end and probably even beyond that.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: How would you feel - 12/27/2007 7:49:01 PM

erebus

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quote:

I would hope so as well , but divorce rates and seperation rates tell a different story .

I work with a woman who divorced her first husband because he went blind. She told me that 'didn't fit in with her plans.' I will have nothing to do with a self-centered bitch such as that, and I hope that I'm never partnered with someone so evil.

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RE: How would you feel - 12/28/2007 12:32:51 AM

denika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?

A big resounding NO, I would walk with him through whatever he had to do. My relationships aren't disposable and they run deep.

Wolf's denika

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RE: How would you feel - 12/28/2007 2:17:56 AM

wolfsprincess

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplewhispers

if you found your Master or sub to have an illness that could not be fixed? Medicated and not harmful to you. Would you consider cutting him/her loose? To much of a liability?

Master and i BOTH have illnesses, some prior to the relationship onset and others that have developed since then. While it bothers me when He takes care of me (after knee replacement, for example), i always remind myself of His belief that He has to take care of me so that i can take care of Him.
Leave? Absolutely not.
O/our relationship is unconditional and based on who W/we are on the inside. The physical problems can and are being dealt with. An illness MIGHT be considered a liability at one point, but even liabilities can be dealt with if the assets outweigh them in the long run.

_____________________________

princess
"...slave isn't just a word - it's who and what i am ... walking forever in His light and seeking shelter in His shadow"
http://absoluteslavery.com

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