Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Masochist verse Sadist Round 1!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 10:53:14 PM   
Kostly


Posts: 60
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hehe, like the title, hope it drew you here...

I am a Sadist and my partner is a Masochist.  I enjoy spanking and causing pain.  I enjoy when that pain turns to pleasure.  But what I also enjoy is doing things to her that are soft limits that she doesnt love.  I like long term disconfort, while she likes the whip of the belt...  I guess if she didnt like the belt, then my personal life would be different.

The reason I like long term disconfort is because I am a Sadist, and for me I enjoy doing things that does not cause pleasure.  I feel excited when my submissive gives me her pain without expectations of subspace or the reward of a sore bottom.  I enjoy her struggles to keep from loosing control, and to hold her and confort her through the pain.

Its definately not healthy for her (mentally) or wanted from Me to engage in this activities on a daily basis, but I just dont feel sadistic when I spank someone who would beg for it...  I guess that doesnt meet the terms of sadistic for me.  Maybe beign sadistic with her would be to NOT spank her... or to spank her softly... hehehe....

Anyone else feel this way about their sadistic side?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 10:55:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Only people who are sadists.

People who I call "fluffy sadists" enjoy the spanking and making a masochist feel good, they want to stay in the "subspace/endorphine rush/good pain" zone.

Sadists want people to be in pain.  This is why a service oriented non masochistic sub is often the best partner for a sadist.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Kostly)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 10:59:35 PM   
Kostly


Posts: 60
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Ohh its easy to be sadistic with Masochists... Its just takes time, an imagination, knowing limits, boundries, and triing things out... I dont have a Masochist that likes ALL pain, just prefers some pain over others...  If you want to be sadistic with a Masochist, put a cloths pin or two on the clit.  That usually is more pain then they enjoy!


< Message edited by Kostly -- 12/23/2007 11:00:26 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 11:00:01 PM   
PronePalabras


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline 		to be honest to truely do it just for the pain and to expect them to get no enjoyment mental physical or emotional ...is damaging and borders on dangerous pushing soft limits is just that ..pushing limits in the hope of one day removing them ...i dont know im sorta sleepy so i dont know if im answering this the right way ...but that is a razor thin line.

(in reply to Kostly)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 11:02:20 PM   
Kostly


Posts: 60
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If my partner is sane, and consenting.  And I am safe, then their is no problem... the only issue is one I should of addressed, which is of course some people do not enjoy or accept this type of play.

(in reply to PronePalabras)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 11:26:11 PM   
AnnabelHell


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/14/2007
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline 		I am a sadist. I am not a Sadist with everyone I play with, nor would I enjoy it with anyone and everyone. I don't walk down the street and wish pain upon the little old lady crossing the road, or hurt small animals for fun. No one, except a criminal, could be a Sadist without limits and perhaps the biggest challenge a Sadist faces is self-awareness and self-control. As a Sadist, I don't feel bad for doing the things I do, or liking the things I like. I am by no means fluffy, unless you are speaking of the curves of my body. I rather suspect the people who seek a terrible Sadist out for the kind of play we engage in isn't looking for comfort, and shouldn't expect it.

As a side note: I, personally, do not adhere to safe-sane-consensual. I think the term "sane" is far too vague and the definition of what is sane, or is not sane, can vary from place to place and person to person. I prefer the term 'RACK' or Risk Aware Consensual Kink. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RACK and I practice it religiously.

< Message edited by AnnabelHell -- 12/23/2007 11:27:09 PM >

(in reply to Kostly)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/23/2007 11:44:01 PM   
subelaine


Posts: 20
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		My Master is a sadist, I'm a masochist. I love being chained to the wall, helpless, and my well-being is entirely in His hands. The things He does to me while I'm chained to the wall is not only for my pleasure but for His as well. He loves to watch the movement of my body, listen to my moans, make me beg for more, and most of all He enjoys making me have orgasm on top of orgasm... until I actually hang from the chains, completely spent.

I enjoy the lighter aspects of pain also, such as being placed over His lap and having my ass spanked until it is bright red.

Now for some of the things that He enjoys more than I do: He uses clothespins on my lips and clit. That is excruciating pain to me! It is very painful from the get go, but worse when they are removed. The blood rushing back to those areas sets me on fire!.

He also like to put nipple and clit clamps on, anal plug in, and to top it off... a vibrating egg! Naturally I have a dress on ( no panties) and he says, " Are you ready to go out for supper and a movie?" He loves to watch me walk, sit, and move about in my chair very carefully! Asking all the time, " What's wrong, sweetheart?" He loves having me to remove the clamps while in the restaurant ( you have to be very careful and not keep them on for extended periods of time). He knows that I want to cry out in pain and from relief when the blood rushes back, but I must keep it under control. He so enjoys this, I would rather be beaten ragged with any and all implements versus this. But this is His kink, He enjoys it, and I do it for His pleasure. Then again, my body does belong to Him...

(in reply to Kostly)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 12:29:02 AM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kostly
If you want to be sadistic with a Masochist, put a cloths pin or two on the clit.  That usually is more pain then they enjoy!

Oh, please!  i've been doing that to myself for years, just for the wonderful sensation it gives me, when i didn't have a sadist in my life to do it to me.  Pain, like all sensations, is very much subjective.  No two people are going to respond exactly the same way.  What feels horribly painful to one, will feel delightfully enjoyable to another. 
 
my Master doesn't whip me daily, partly because it's simply not practical to do but, mostly because He doesn't want me to become desensitized to the pain.  He wants it to HURT me (more than it hurts Him).
 
He has been telling me, lately, that He is going to give me a 'good' beating.  He won't say when or where or anything else.  But, i know it's coming and, it's been quite awhile since the last one so, i have no doubt that it will hurt and i will be in tears and will scream - both things that He truly loves for me to do. 
 
He's not going to beat me to punish me or to discipline me.  He's going to beat me for the erotic pleasure that it gives him.  That's the bottom line for why He enjoys beating me.  He does know that i get very turned-on by it, too, and that i will get enjoyment from it.  But, that fact, in and of itself, will have no bearing on His enjoyment in causing me pain.  He enjoys the fact that it gets me so sexually excited because He knows how much i hate that it does.  He loves the fact that my body betrays me and demonstrates how much i enjoy it.
 
On a daily basis, and whenever He feels like it, He will pinch me, pull my hair, and slap me, just to see me jump or cringe and hear me moan or whimper.  Those hurt me, too, since He doesn't do anything gently or lightly.  And, i do enjoy those sensations, also.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to Kostly)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 3:14:53 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Most of us view it as a nebulous area where we either want to give or receive some pain outside of the safe, comfortable zone. Being a sadist, I want to cause pain beyond the usual spanking or flogging, at times. Of course every time when I talk about an easy flogging, she tells me there is no such thing and it hurts like hell for a while. Ha.

However, possibly after a good build up with the flogger, I may cane her wickedly for a long time as she slowly loses it and gives into the other world the hard way. That is exciting to me.

An interesting dynamic that I’ve noticed is that she is more satisfied and sexually excited after I have gone into one of the harder than she can take episodes. So I’m convinced that some masochists need to be taken beyond a slow build up to spacing now and then. Plus, I readily admit, it turns me on to do it.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Kostly)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 3:24:10 AM   
Mastaziel


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Only people who are sadists.

People who I call "fluffy sadists" enjoy the spanking and making a masochist feel good, they want to stay in the "subspace/endorphine rush/good pain" zone.

Sadists want people to be in pain.  This is why a service oriented non masochistic sub is often the best partner for a sadist.


you evil person, you've totally destroyed My self image. FLUFFY SADIST!.....sigh.
Oh...wait...I do inflict My wit on those who don't necessarily enjoy it...that's kinda mean.....maybe I'm not so much fluffy, but kinda velvety. black velvet of course...or maybe that really fine sandpaper?

The RACK definition does sound alot better, as sanity is definitely an issue. I mean most kinks would be listed under sexual dysfunction not to long ago, and you'd be committed and have the key thrown away if you were found to practice even half the things that are only considered moderately kinky now days.

My personal view of sadism tends to be more mental than physical. Definitely physical aspects are a involved, but I like the thought of adding to them by playing games and leading thoughts. Creating more mental stimulus that'll add to and accentuate the physical. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and usually if you're quick enough you can take credit for any "sadistic" torment you happen to lead the person into thinking you're capable of.
Chaos you create and that leaves you untouched.
While they're so caught up in how "nasty" and "sadistic" you are, you feed them the image of the devil......imply pain and horror....then blindfold them.....and give them a nice gentle (genital?) massage and feather torture.

Mmmm, but never the same thing twice....unless You're really mean....or want them to expect the same outcome...and don't intend to deliver.

I like torment, but only if it's sweet. Suppose I am a little fluffy, because the I definatelly like the idea of being nasty to make little girls all squirmy. lol

Hugs for all and for all a merry Xmas from New Zealand.

**Damn lucky Santa...he knows where ALL the naughty girls live!**

_____________________________

~~~:Torment is just another word for affection:~~~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 6:51:12 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Only people who are sadists.

People who I call "fluffy sadists" enjoy the spanking and making a masochist feel good, they want to stay in the "subspace/endorphine rush/good pain" zone.

Sadists want people to be in pain.  This is why a service oriented non masochistic sub is often the best partner for a sadist.


I suppose I agree with LA on this one... my Daddy is probably a "fluffy sadist", he enjoys the reactions I exhibit when they are mutually enjoyed. We sometimes go long periods between our S&M play times... and I am ok with that too.

I think that it comes down to a compatibility issue, instead of making across the board generalizations.. some masochists want to be pushed past the pleasure point, some (like me) don't, some like both. When the balance is right, the chemistry is right, it is heavenly.

Being with a sadist that regularly enjoyed bringing me to a place I did not like would not work for me starting out in a relationship. Although I have to say if we evolved into that at this point, I would accept it as part of my submission, I suppose because I am committed to the relationship and to him. I would view it as part of my submission... but I did search for someone who was like my Daddy in regard to his sadism.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/24/2007 6:52:05 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 8:08:24 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		FR....

i guess this is where the authority exchange comes in for me...yes i am a masochist, and yes i absolutely prefer to be with a Sadist...but i also prefer to be with someone i give authority over to...so i don't have control over when i get pain...they do...and that takes care of the dilemma, i am not getting pain because i ask for it, i am getting pain because they want to give me pain, whether i like it or not (i never don't like it...)

as for on a daily basis...i have played on a more regular basis, every couple of days...and i did become desensatized, it took a lot of pain to hurt me and thats what i like...not the sensation that should be painful but my body interprets as not painful...but the stuff that actually does hurt...so i prefer to space it out a bit more...no leather butt for me....

chelle


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 8:39:46 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Only people who are sadists.

People who I call "fluffy sadists" enjoy the spanking and making a masochist feel good, they want to stay in the "subspace/endorphine rush/good pain" zone.

Sadists want people to be in pain. This is why a service oriented non masochistic sub is often the best partner for a sadist.


And that's why Fox works well for me.

Interestingly for me this also translated into my not wanting to do SM that often because the intense rush I can get from hurting someone who does not enjoy the activities themselves but "good boy" he hears after he suffers.

Different from a clinical sadist who would not want any sort of pleasure for the victim and to whom consent is a non-issue.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 8:50:26 AM   
hammernhoney


Posts: 268
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

FR....

i guess this is where the authority exchange comes in for me...yes i am a masochist, and yes i absolutely prefer to be with a Sadist...but i also prefer to be with someone i give authority over to...so i don't have control over when i get pain...they do...and that takes care of the dilemma, i am not getting pain because i ask for it, i am getting pain because they want to give me pain, whether i like it or not (i never don't like it...)

as for on a daily basis...i have played on a more regular basis, every couple of days...and i did become desensatized, it took a lot of pain to hurt me and thats what i like...not the sensation that should be painful but my body interprets as not painful...but the stuff that actually does hurt...so i prefer to space it out a bit more...no leather butt for me....

chelle


I agree chelle,when you get caught in my web then your body becomes mine to do with as I wish...Your pain please me and makes me happy.Why does it do so only a good shrink may know that answer.NO I wasn't abused as a child,I found out early that people giving up their body to my evil wishes was a huge turnon...Both on the journey together.You fly and I take the trip as well..A good sadistic Master not only makes up blast off but brings you back to earth safe wanting and craving more.........bounty

_____________________________

STEP INTO MY DARKNESS AND LET THE LIGHT OF YOUR SUBMISSION SHINE..

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 11:20:00 AM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
People who I call "fluffy sadists" enjoy the spanking and making a masochist feel good, they want to stay in the "subspace/endorphine rush/good pain" zone.


Well, give me a flogger and call me Fluffy! That's me perfectly. I don't mind trying to go beyond something a sub and I have done before -- e.g., the amount of spanking or strokes with a flogger, belt or paddle -- but yes, I want us *both* to enjoy it.

That said, I would expect her to comply unless it was a hard limit for her. This likely would be a real-time negotiation for me and my sub, during play but before I "pushed her limits."

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 1:59:58 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Only people who are sadists.

People who I call "fluffy sadists" enjoy the spanking and making a masochist feel good, they want to stay in the "subspace/endorphine rush/good pain" zone.

Sadists want people to be in pain.  This is why a service oriented non masochistic sub is often the best partner for a sadist.

I'm fluffy so that fits me.

However, there are times that I do want just a service oriented non masochistic (spank me because I serve) play partner. I'm going through that in my mind now.  I don't want my partner to be that but there has been times I needed that fix. When I go the club and see a grrl that wants no small talk, no power exchange nothing but "Shut up and beat me."

Z-

_____________________________

"Flirting is part of the job description." DJ Jesus (Lucy Daughter Of The Devil)

Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 2:08:35 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		As far as my sadistic side, I would probably be considered a "fluffy sadist" for the most part although I do enjoy pushing people and watching their reactions.

The thing I always struggle with when this topic comes up is the perception that masochists can all convert all pain to erotic pain.  That may be true for some, it certainly isn't for me.  I enjoy the mental stimulation nonerotic pain brings and the challenge I get from being pushed, but yes there are certainly many times I do it merely for the service and don't get all that much personal benefit from it other than that service and his reaction.  I'm not sure masochistic and service-oriented are mutually exclusive depending on what one is doing/experiencing.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 2:48:14 PM   
goodgirl08


Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldn't consider myself a masochist, I do not enjoy the pain while it is being administered. But, I have a deep craving for someone else's Sadism to be exercised on me. I am greatly aroused physically and mentally by the exercise of power, which includes intense pain and humiliation (which is just psychological pain).

While I do not physically enjoy the pain in the moment, I am extremely aroused on a psychological level by the knowledge that my pain and loss of control is being used for the pleasure of the one I serve. My hope is that I will not be placated and he will indulge fully without worrying about my pain (except for safety). This way he gets his ultimate fulfillment from me and as his slave I am satisfied to see him in that state. I'm not saying I'm a NO LIMITZ slave but just that I don't expect a pleasure cruise. I love the rhythm of intense pain giving way to intense pleasure. I think it comes from the same place as religious rites of penance and reconciliation.

Sadists rule!

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 5:45:26 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		there are three degrees of sadistic people
the light social sadistic who makes fun or does things for enjoyment of the suffereing at other people exspense

there is the more domestic sadistic abusive partner in a relationship

and last but not least the dark sadist who kills or torments and gets extreme releases from it
serial killers fall into this persona

(in reply to goodgirl08)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! - 12/24/2007 6:09:12 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Generally speaking, it will turn me off if something I do with sadism is enjoyed too much. Doesn't mean I cannot enjoy pleasuring too-but that's just simple erotic sex play to me-and not in the same category. I like control on a strictly limited basis, I'm not obsesssive over it. So someone who is needy of that is also going to be a turn off.

But when we choose to have it-rather than be saddled with it, in a burdensome manner-it's fun and intense. And I can turn it off-and usually do. Which is why I do not consider myself a "Dom".

I have a life outside of the bedroom. I feel no need to take my kink beyond the door.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Masochist verse Sadist Round 1! Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078