just wondering

just wondering (Full Version)

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dommeyouneed -> just wondering (12/10/2007 5:02:26 AM)
how many of you think that the best D is one that was a sub

OldBastardly1 -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 5:06:53 AM)
I am a pretty good D, if I do say so myself, and I was never a sub. I know of 1 "Dom", that was originally a sub. One night his Mistress dry fucked him with a large strap-on....the next time he came out, he had decided he was a "Dom". And he has always been a lame, wanna-be "Dom". I always laughed at his fingerless gloves and the toys on his belt. Again, as usual.....this is NOT a definate.....it is possible.

Dari -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 5:12:14 AM)
The best Dom/me is one who knows themselves intimately - their likes and dislikes, their needs and wants, and simultaneously knows their sub(s) just as intimately. And then is willing to use all that knowledge to satisfy all. Being a sub before is not required for this, though in some cases it can help a person know themselves better.

juliaoceania -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 6:24:09 AM)
I think the best dom is the one I have, and he was never a submissive.

velvetears -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 7:36:12 AM)
Not at all. That is almost as ridiculous as saying to be a good lover you have to have slept with someone of your own sex.

ctrlaltdelete -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:11:46 AM)
Personally, I do not believe that at all to be case (for me and for the vast majority of other dominant individuals that I know). But then again, I have also seen the mindlessly and insanely reckless Doms that are out there. The ones that will cause irreparable emotional, psychological and/or physical harm to a sub. For those dense and calloused individuals, I sometimes feel that it would not have hurt them to be on the receiving end for once. Almost like cops that have to be maced or tasered as part of training before they are allowed to use it on others. For those dominant doorknobs, it might not actually be a bad idea!

IrishMist -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:16:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears Not at all. That is almost as ridiculous as saying to be a good lover you have to have slept with someone of your own sex. LMAO Ok...I am sorry...but this just...squicked me [&:]

Elorin -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:22:01 AM)
I don't agree. I think the best dom/me is one who has: self awareness. honesty. compassion. a willingness to learn from others. empathy. and a willingness to feel a sensation at least once before inflicting it on another. Some dom/mes just don't have it in them to submit and give up control to another, and that's fine, but they need to treasure that if it's that hard to do for THEM, how much more valuable when someone else gives up control?

thetammyjo -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:26:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dommeyouneed how many of you think that the best D is one that was a sub No, I don't. I think the "best dom" is one that is appropriate for that relationship first. Second they should have empathy -- having experience on the other side does not equal empathy at all. In fact, some of the worst tops I've ever me were bottoms or subs previously who believed that everyone would and should react and desire and behave exactly as they did. Third they should be aware of their limits (of all kinds) and be willing and able to communicate them. If the limits are in knowledge or technique they should be working on improvement and not using BS to cover up. Fourth they should be an honorable and trustworthy person who also knows they are a mere human being and not a god or someone better than any other human being.

EvilKitty -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:45:51 AM)
I've been very appreciative of the time I spent as a sub/bottom. I started out with an Old Leather gay crowd, so beginning by bottoming was sort of a given. I officially subbed for 1 1/2 years & tried to find a submissive side of myself. No go. But I still felt like learning what I was doing to another's head when I play by experiencing it firsthand. Wouldn't trade the time for anything! I think it helped make me as good a Domme as I am today. I've seen the advantages of learning from the bottom first. I've also seen Dommes & Doms who never tried it & I've seen their lacks. I don't think this is an absolute by any means. Some of us learn differently than others. But, in MY opinion, starting off as a bottom is an excellent way to learn. Lady Cat

Jeffff -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:53:34 AM)
If I wanted to be a good husband, do I need to have been a wife first?.D/s is just like life. We aren't special be cause of it. If we are special at all, it is because of who we are, not what we are Jeff

sexyred1 -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:57:20 AM)
I have never believed you need to be the opposite of something in order to be "good" at it. You are perhaps asking about empathy; that I DO believe in. If you empathize with someone else, you have a far better chance of identifying what it is that connects you or disconnects you.

chellekitty -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:59:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears Not at all. That is almost as ridiculous as saying to be a good lover you have to have slept with someone of your own sex. that sounds hot...i like watching man on man sex....but would a hetero male have to be the catcher or could he be the pitcher?

mnottertail -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 8:59:09 AM)
I had an uncle Oscar who dropped dead in a snowbank in Balta, North Dakota in 1942, first I heard of it, I thought it was an epidemic. No way was you gonna catch me in a snowbank, I moved out to California.....found out that I could peacefully get my snore on right thru an earthquake........so-----go ahead and laugh, it wasn't your uncle and you don't care......... Well, you see what I mean, right? Ron

Jeffff -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 9:03:41 AM)
Of course I do.........but what if it was MY uncle.....and it was a tornado? Changes everything, doesn't it Jeff

chellekitty -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 9:05:03 AM)
i've heard that a tornado can put a chicken inside a jug and keep it alive....

mnottertail -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 9:05:19 AM)
See? That's why everyone is running around in this different reality kinda chaos.... Whatever happened to Randolph Scott? I think that about says it all on the matter. TheOakRidgeBoys

ctrlaltdelete -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 9:06:45 AM)
You guys are missing the point entirely!! Would you still have suspected an epidemic if had been 1943 instead?

Jeffff -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 9:08:00 AM)
Someone ask for Me?.........geez is it cold here! Randolph Scott

mnottertail -> RE: just wondering (12/10/2007 9:09:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ctrlaltdelete You guys are missing the point entirely!! Would you still have suspected an epidemic if had been 1943 instead? I am a child of the 70's, follow a pretty paranoic dogma, and believe in a better life thru chemicals...... I hope that clears up your question. Ron

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