Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Testing the Dom and Domme


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Testing the Dom and Domme Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 5:36:35 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I see a lot of threads on how people first find their other. If there really serious. So I do what i call qualifying the Dom/domme for healthy exchange. I do something totally out of character. I do not send long letters of introduction.   I also do not use Miss Or Ma am or anything there off. I keep It simple something warm like. A simple compliment. If they are warm back and open  You will see it in their responses. Building a relationship takes time. A good one. After First contact. I use other means to get to know them talk about anything but D's . Unless they ask you questions about it.  I thinks your looking for and to stay away from. Complicated sceneries.   

  1. Married or attached looking for an escape
  2. Pro Dom's or domes with a lot of subs at there feet
  3. bad sarcastic Witt while most Dom's are sadist your looking for the warm person who cares about you or what you do as a person  ie Nilla things 
  4. lazy dose not work user persona
  5. Conservative or Liberal   very important if it dose not match your value system
  6. Distance reality check   While long distance relationships are OK they never really work for ever we are a people of touch and feel

Now while this is not 100 percent on the nose. It has helped me in the past avoid  bad conflicts of interest.. This is just way to keep people honest.  You should know after the Frost couple response if a person is going to match with  you. Once  you do both people have to work at it. But the road  you will travel will be fun how ever the relationship morphs
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:06:36 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Right off the bat, I disagree...lol.... I am drawn to sarcastic wit. As a matter of fact if Ron was a woman, I'd be all over her...:)


Jeff

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:08:47 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		This is not the sort of thing that lulls me into sweet repose at the end of a day, I will have you know.

Ron (a man)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:09:55 AM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		Latexbaby:
 
At first I thought I was going to go through the roof when I saw the title until I read the entire post.   I think you mean qualifying your Domme to your personality.  One never tests a Dom/me in real life.  Trust me on that.  They will get you.
My worst punishment as a novice sub was testing a Dom.  Not a good idea.
 
Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:10:52 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		It would if you were a woman.......I don't suppose you have a sister?



Jeff

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:18:46 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I see a lot of threads on how people first find their other. If there really serious. So I do what i call qualifying the Dom/domme for healthy exchange. I do something totally out of character. I do not send long letters of introduction.   I also do not use Miss Or Ma am or anything there off. I keep It simple something warm like. A simple compliment. If they are warm back and open  You will see it in their responses. Building a relationship takes time. A good one. After First contact. I use other means to get to know them talk about anything but D's . Unless they ask you questions about it.  I thinks your looking for and to stay away from. Complicated sceneries.   
  1. Married or attached looking for an escape
  2. Pro Dom's or domes with a lot of subs at there feet
  3. bad sarcastic Witt while most Dom's are sadist your looking for the warm person who cares about you or what you do as a person  ie Nilla things 
  4. lazy dose not work user persona
  5. Conservative or Liberal   very important if it dose not match your value system
  6. Distance reality check   While long distance relationships are OK they never really work for ever we are a people of touch and feel


Now while this is not 100 percent on the nose. It has helped me in the past avoid  bad conflicts of interest.. This is just way to keep people honest.  You should know after the Frost couple response if a person is going to match with  you. Once  you do both people have to work at it. But the road  you will travel will be fun how ever the relationship morphs

Latex; I guess where my confusion with this post comes from is in the question

why do you feel the need to 'test' them in that first email? I don't understand your reasoning with that...or perhaps it's just because you used the word 'test' that I am having trouble understanding.


Color me confuzzled today

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:25:14 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		As I understood it, these are .."tests" a prospective partner must, "pass". I could be wrong


Jeff

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:32:08 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		Maybe the OP is referring to what is the logical course of communication, i.e., communicating. Asking questions and answering questions. I don't think a sub would hold my attention long if all she wanted to know about me was how I would handle her in a D/s aspect.

But then, maybe that is just me.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:34:59 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		It's the way he said it.

That he deliberately tests them by sending a nice and warm first letter.
 
I am confused...does that mean that NORMALLY, he does not send letters of that kind? Or was he meaning something else and just chose the wrong kind of wording.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to OldBastardly1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:38:35 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ron have you thought of crossdressing.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:40:14 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I have buttoned my shirt one hole off before, but that's about as far as it has went.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:40:53 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I agree with the bad phrasing of the question. 

However, I don't especially disagree with the content.  If I'm reading it right, you're talking about a 'feeling out' period between two people to see if you're compatible.  There's nothing wrong with that, whether doing it in real life, or attempting to do it electronically.  One is much more reliable than the other.

Having come to know your opinions on certain things, I understand why #1 is an issue for you.  That's not the case for everyone.  It's ok for you to discount folks who might be married and poly because it's what works for you.  That isn't the case for everyone.

As to #2, I think you lumped two catagories together.  There is a difference between being pro and having multiple subs courting at the same time.  In fact, I named one of My past boys 'chosen' because that was the situation at the time.  I specifically chose him above the others vying for My attentions.  Being sought after doesn't put One in the same catagory as a pro.

On #3, no one ever said that being a sadist doesn't also mean a person can't be warm and caring.

As to #4, trust Me.  The Dom/mes out there watch for folks who don't have a job either.

For #5. at first, I thought you were talking about politics.

Finally #6.   I'm probably going to get blasted for this, but the distance thing never really worked for Me either.  I need the physical for a relationship to work, and I've found that I can't do that from across the miles.  I realize that some do it and they have no issue with that particular hurdle, but it isn't for Me. 

At least you're talking about what works for you and not insisting that it work that way for everyone else.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:40:59 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Right off the bat, I disagree...lol.... I am drawn to sarcastic wit. As a matter of fact if Ron was a woman, I'd be all over her...:)

Jeff

Jeff, I think you missed reading a word there, it's BAD sarcastic wit. 

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:41:18 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I have buttoned my shirt one hole off before, but that's about as far as it has went.

Ron

/sigh

You tease you

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:47:18 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		How can wit be bad?


Jeff

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 7:50:22 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		It's important for two people to actually explore, learn and feel each other out first.  This includes testing another person, to see if they are real and what you have in common or not.

There has been threads on Acid tests, things to look for good and bad. 

Most of the emails I recieve from people for the first time, are warm simple remarks or comments, and not long letters of introduction.

Actually, I have yet to recieve a long letter of introduction in my inBOX yet.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 9:27:08 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Complicated sceneries.   

Married or attached looking for an escape

No shit sherlock !!
 
quote:

Pro Dom's or domes with a lot of subs at there feet

Complicated? Whats complicated about paying for a service if its what you want?
 
quote:

bad sarcastic Witt while most Dom's are sadist your looking for the warm person who cares about you or what you do as a person  ie Nilla things 

Oh balls, thats where i've been going wrong! Picking sadists with bad ass wit vs a warm fluffy dom.

quote:

lazy dose not work user persona

So is being hired out to provide Sir with a good healthy pension not the right thing to do then?
 
quote:

Conservative or Liberal   very important if it dose not match your value system

I'm supposed to have values as well as bake muffins and iron his under pants?
 
quote:

Distance reality check   While long distance relationships are OK they never really work for ever we are a people of touch and feel

It works for me and it has for 11 months. ANd in his absence i touch and feel myself  when allowed of course







_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 10:00:07 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:


Oh balls, thats where i've been going wrong! Picking sadists with bad ass wit vs a warm fluffy dom.


How about Fluffy Doms with great big teeth and razor sharp claws with the sex drive of a rabbit?

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 11:25:25 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Do rabbits truly have big sex drives? 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Testing the Dom and Domme - 12/4/2007 11:54:07 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Thing is, 99% of the time if someone sends me a simple compliment and I respond politely, the next letter is guaranteed to be a sexual come-on or other highly explicit suggestion involving BDSM.  So I ask folks to actually read my entire profile before writing me, and if they aren't on the same page as me or sincerely interested in intelligent conversation and a friendship that would NOT necessarily or automatically involve ANY sex or kinky play, please don't write at all.  Compliments on my appearance that don't include an indication that they've read the profile get shitcanned immediately, as they're invariably a prelude to sexually explicit offers that have nothing to do with warmth, friendship, liking, respect, and actually getting to know a person as a human being. 

I'm *very* friendly, warm and open - as long as the person emailing me did take the time to read my profile and is respecting my wishes to make connections of real friendship, not insta-kink or insta-sex.  If they didn't read my profile and are not respecting the limits and boundaries politely stated there, then I have no time for random horny jerks who bother women without caring who they are or what they are seeking here. 

Everyone has the right to set their standards, preferences, limits and boundaries.  Mine is "friendship first, no exceptions".  Folks who overstep those boundaries get ignored and blocked.  This isn't to say that anyone else's standards are wrong, but when you reach out to communicate with another person, it is a very good idea to make sure you understand their boundaries and what they are seeking.  If you don't, you'll probably just annoy them.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Testing the Dom and Domme Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125